Tony and Michelle a deep love
by jesse15
Summary: Major Tony and Michelle love and Drama. I hope you enjoy - please review if you don't mind.
1. Default Chapter

Michelle climbed the stairs to Tony's office. The day had finally come to an end and she was filled with so many emotions she barely knew how to think straight. It seemed like days ago that she had plucked the courage to tell Tony she had feelings for him. So much of what she had done today seemed out of character for her. Usually quiet and conservative she couldn't believe she had not only told him but also kissed him. She had also lied to him about Jack for awhile and then helped Tony drug their boss. Michelle didn't know whether to feel ashamed of herself or proud. One thing she did know was that she had fallen so hard for Tony it was hard to even look at him. When the day began, like any other day, she had feelings but they were ones she could control. Now after everything they had been through she felt like she not only wanted him but needed him. As she climbed the stairs her nerves just about over took her, now that everything was under control at CTU how would Tony act towards her? Where would their conversation even start? What if he regretted kissing her?  
  
Tony had the headache from hell. He'd actually arrived at work this morning with it and the day's events had only made it get worse and worse. He also felt scared and lonely. This kiss with Michelle had been the most unbelievable thing he could imagine. He had wondered for so long what it would be like to touch her, hold her and kiss her. All he could think though, was that Michelle had only turned to him today because of everything that had happened. There was no way someone like Michelle could ever want to be with someone like him. Michelle made him feel like he actually counted in this harsh world. He'd never felt that before and Nina had pretty much squashed any confidence he had in himself. He spent his whole time with Nina just wanting her to care for him, love him. He was always 2nd to Jack though and of course now he knew she never even liked him for him, it was all about using him. "I have so much love to give, why doesn't anyone want me" he thought to himself as he started putting on his jacket to head home. His heart hurt as he thought about going home by himself to his empty apartment. It also ached for Michelle, he hated the thought of her going home by herself too. She had been through so much and all he wanted was for her to feel safe and protected. God she was beautiful, she was all he had ever wanted. He wished he was someone else, someone like James or Jack who might have a real shot with a girl like Michelle.  
  
Tony heard someone open his door. He had closed his blinds and shut the door in the hope that everyone would just leave him alone for awhile. He spun around to see Michelle closing the door behind her. She looked so perfect. She completely took his breath away. His stomach turned to knots and his heart began to override any logically thinking he had left. He had to touch her, he had to kiss her – give it a shot anyways, I mean if she rejected him he couldn't feel much worse than he already did now.  
  
"Michelle.....I....you...I...." He couldn't find any words and he was struggling just to breathe.  
  
Michelle looked at the pain in Tony's eyes. She wanted him to know that he could talk to her and she would do everything she could to comfort him. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted to kiss him and have his hands all over her. All she wanted was for him to feel the same way she did.  
  
"Tony....I'm sorry....can....we...you...I" God she couldn't string even a sentence together.  
  
They both stood staring at each other, the sexual tension in the room was so overpowering. Tony reached his arm out to her and as soon as he saw that she was going to come to him, he ran at her grabbing her face with both hands and kissing her. She put her hands on his chest and pushed into him so hard. She opened her mouth and let his tongue enter and begin to explore. She groaned which made the passion rise even more. His hands ran up and down her back and then he placed both hands on her ass and pulled her in even closer to him. He couldn't get enough of her. Michelle felt Tony become hard and so she began to move her hips and body with force so that she was rubbing up against him, letting him know how much he was turning her on.  
  
As Michelle used her body to rub against him, Tony almost lost it. He pulled away from the kiss and put his head into her neck. "Oh God Michelle, Oh God" He groaned even louder. No-one had ever turned him on the way she was now and he was so lost in her, he knew this passion he felt for her was not just about being physical with her, he was falling in love and just needed to be close to her.  
  
They stood swaying together and Tony kissed her neck and between taking huge breaths whispered her name. He turned his head to kiss her on the lips again but a wave of pain shot through his neck all around his head. It made him wince in pain and stop still.  
  
"Tony, what's wrong...did I do something?" Michelle felt sick thinking she might have hurt him. "No, no....it's just this headache I've had – it's kinda bad. Don't worry I'll be alright."  
  
Michelle stood back from Tony and looked him in the eyes. She could see how much he hurt and how much he was trying to pretend like he was ok so that they could continue.  
  
"Come over to the couch Tony, I will give you a massage" Michelle said firmly. Tony was baffled, he had never in his life had a massage from anyone besides his physio. No one had ever wanted to bother with looking after him like that. "Your so sweet Michelle, but you don't have too...I would never expect you...." But Michelle was not taking no for an answer and so she grabbed his hand and lead him to the couch. "Tony, I want too, it's the least I can do – please for once just let someone try and take care of you."  
  
They sat next to each other on the couch and Michelle turned in towards Tony and undid the top 3 buttons of his shirt for better access to his neck. Tony loved how gentle Michelle was with him. Michelle had Tony lie on his stomach and close his eyes. She pulled up a chair at the end of the couch to sit on and began massaging his shoulders and neck. The room was quiet and it was such a beautiful intimate moment. Tony felt better just at her touch and he let himself sink into the couch and take in how good it all felt. His eyes closed. It dawned on him just how tired he actually was from the whole day. Before he knew it, he had drifted off to sleep.  
  
Michelle massaged Tony for 45 minutes, stroking his hair softly when her wrists were tired. She knew he had fallen asleep but wanted to make sure she loosened his back up as much as possible so that hopefully when he woke his headache would be gone. Michelle knew she had some paper work to take care of, and decided she would go and do that and let him sleep. She didn't want to leave work until she knew he had woken up and felt ok. She put a blanket from the cupboard over him to keep him warm, kissed him on the forehead and closed the door behind her on the way out. She went straight to Jacks office and asked him to divert Tony's calls and not let anyone in his office so that he could really get some rest.  
  
Jack smiled at Michelle, he knew how much she cared for Tony and he certainly knew how much Tony cared for her. He and Tony had drunk many beers over the topic of Michelle and how great Tony thought she was. He knew they would make the most perfect couple. He would be so happy to see them together. He told Michelle of course and gave her a huge hug. She had been through so much that day and he was worried about her, she should be getting sleep too. "Why don't you head home and get some rest, I'll tell Tony when he wakes up" he urged Michelle. "Thanks Jack, but I've got work to do and I really want to make sure he is ok before I go home".  
  
Michelle was happy to stay there all night working if she had too, anything would be better than going home by herself. She was too scared from the day's events to be left alone with her own thoughts.  
  
Jack headed to the cafeteria to get some coffee, as he approached he could hear Adam and James discussing Michelle. He stopped in his tracks making sure he was out of sight and listened to what they were saying. He had never liked James, he thought he was so good and only ever looked after himself. It seemed that all the girls in the office thought he was the hottest guy on the planet and James enjoyed playing up to that. He had already been with four girls from the office that Jack knew of. He wasn't even that good of an agent – if he just put half the effort into his work that he put into chasing skirts maybe he'd do alright.  
  
James was bragging to Adam. "After the day Michelle's had, I am sure she will need someone close and that person is going to be me. I mean, I've seen her checking me out and I've just acted cool...you know, keep her hanging...but I am definitely up for taking advantage of her vulnerability tonight...if you know what I mean." He laughed whilst fixing his collar looking in the mirror. Adam was more of a quiet soul, and had a good heart. He cared a hell of a lot more for anyone else in the office than James. He tried to bring James down a notch, "Ummm James, Michelle and Tony kind of have a thing going. I mean everyone has known forever that they care for each other but rumour has it that today they actually kissed. I don't think you should try to get in the middle of that. Don't forget, Tony is your boss." This didn't seem to bother James in the slightest; he moved closer to Adam, looked him directly in the eye and said, "Do you really think Tony is a problem for me? After the shit he put her through today as if she will have anything to do with him. Tony's got a history of being pathetic when it comes to women, I mean surely he should have realised Nina would have never wanted him and now he reckons he has a shot with Michelle, the hottest girl here....he is a small obstacle. Besides he is asleep right now which gives me time to go soothe Michelle and take her home." Adam was shocked at what he was hearing. How could this jerk speak about Tony and Michelle like this? Tony was so good to everyone in this office and had always treated James with so much respect and yet he was willing to just stab him in the back like that. Although a little nervous the guy would deck him one, Adam decided to say his bit anyways. He turned to leave so he was a little closer to the door and then assertively told James "you are one arrogant prick. You don't deserve Michelle and she isn't going anywhere with you. Tony is a real man and knows how to treat people, Michelle knows that and as with everyone here she knows what a dipshit you are. Maybe you need to stop and wonder why it is that you have no friends here!!" With that James scurried out of the cafeteria and back to his work station. He knew he'd pay for that soon, but after today he just didn't really care – this job was really teaching him what was important in life and what wasn't. Sticking up for his friends was easy, he knew they'd do the same for him.  
  
Jack couldn't believe it. "That little punk" he thought to himself. Tony was his best friend and he didn't want James trying to stand in his way at his shot at happiness with Michelle. He knew Michelle would never go for James, but he also knew how upset and vulnerable she was right now and how easy it would be for her to confuse James offering her comfort to taking advantage of her. Jack decided he'd go and wake Tony to let him know what was going on. He headed back up the stairs to Tony's office which was still all closed up and dark. On the way up he turned and looked back down to see James with his arm around Michelle leading her into tech 7. He hurried into Tony and sat beside him quietly saying his name as not to startle him.  
  
Michelle never liked James. Heaps of the girls always went on about how good looking he was but he just wasn't Michelle's type. Besides since she had laid eyes on Tony she hadn't even looked twice at another guy. She took James's arm off her shoulder and asked him what he wanted. "Michelle, I've been watching you today and I know how much of a rough day you have had, we all have. I want you to know that I am here for you, for you know, like support. Don't go home alone tonight, let me take you out for some food and look after you." Michelle was surprised, out of all the girls in the office he had been through did he really think she was going to be another number to add to his list. She wasn't in the mood for trouble so she forced a small smile and said very politely "Thanks James, I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. I was actually sticking around to check on Tony when he wakes up." James closed the door behind her and stepped closer to her forcing her against the wall. He had a scary look in his eye as he asked Michelle why she cared to wait for Tony. "Umm James, Tony and I have been through a lot today and I wanted to make sure he is ok. I really care for him." Michelle felt nervous now and didn't know what to expect from this situation. He was standing so close to her. She looked up to the corner ceiling and noted that they were in direct line with the security camera – surely he wouldn't try anything when he knows that all these rooms are monitored. James put one hand on the wall behind Michelle's shoulder and the other on her cheek. He spoke very calmly, "Tony doesn't want you Michelle. He used you today to get the results he needed. After Nina, do you really think he gives a shit about anyone else in this office? He can't make you happy, but I can, I can show you what it is like to be with a real man." He slid his hand down over her breast and to the buttons of her shirt. Michelle pushed him back but he simply held both of her hands in just one of his and pinned them against the wall. He was far too strong for her. Michelle felt so tired and weak, she couldn't believe this was happening. She tried to reason with him, "James, please don't. Please don't do this to me, I don't want to be with you." James smiled at her and whispered in her ear, "You don't know what you want. Besides do you think Tony's going to want my sloppy seconds after I am done with you? Make this easy on yourself and do what I say." With that he ripped at her shirt and pushed her to the floor. Michelle struggled with every bit of energy she had to fight him off. He started to get rougher the more she resisted and before she knew it he kicked her in her side and slapped her across the face. Michelle scanned the room trying to think of something she could do, she couldn't reach anything and she just couldn't move with all his weight on her. She raised her knee and shoved it as hard as she could into his groin. He fell backwards slightly letting go of her hands, this gave her the opportunity to shift her body weight and kick him again in the same spot as hard as she possibly could. He yelped in pain and doubled over onto the ground. Michelle sprang to her feet and bolted out the door, heading straight back to her desk.  
  
Upstairs Jack had told Tony what he had overhead between Adam and James. Tony was shocked, although it almost didn't surprise him that another one of his workers was so happy to stab him in the back. He had always been good to James, why on earth would he try to step on his territory. He was so pissed off, yet as the minutes passed it was like all of his fears crept back into his mind and he convinced himself that James was right – there was no way he had a chance of getting Michelle now if he had competition. Tony thought back to a few short hours ago when Michelle had massaged him to sleep to get rid of his headache. Those moments they had shared felt so real and so special. Was he just making into something he wanted it to be? Maybe it didn't mean all that to Michelle. Even if she had meant it all, now that she new James wanted her, why the hell would she choose to stay with Tony!?!? He felt sick and overcome with rage. Tony thought back to when he was in the holding cell with Michelle during the day, he had hated himself so much for putting her in that position. He thought how much Nina had betrayed him and how much he had done for her, yet Michelle, the one girl who had done everything for him was the one he let get hurt. How could he have messed things up so bad? He was so angry, angry at Nina, angry at James, angry at Michelle for not knowing how much she meant to him but mostly he was angry at himself. This was never going to work out the way he wanted it too. He pressed his intercom to Michelle. She answered sounding extremely quiet. Almost surprised to hear that he was awake. "She probably knows I know" he thought to himself. He told Michelle to come to his office immediately. "Umm Tony, I'm just taking care of some things....can it wait?" She sounded so different to him, but he just didn't care at this point. He yelled into the speaker "no, it can't wait, I need to see you now!!"  
  
Jack watched his friend pace the room rubbing the side of his face and barely taking a breath. "Tony, calm down, you have no idea what happened. Michelle likes you, she wouldn't have just gone off with James, please wait to hear what she says." Tony wasn't buying it though, "Come off it Jack, you heard her voice, something is up. Why was I so stupid as to think this would ever work out? I don't blame her, I just know I'd treat her better than that guy any day, if only she'd give me half a chance."  
  
Michelle was in pain. Her ribs were killing her and there was no doubt that James had broken one. She was trying to fight the tears but she was just so tired and scared. She wanted to tell Tony what had happened but she felt so ashamed. He had put his hands all over her. She felt so weak, even though she had stopped James how could she have let it even get that far? She kept playing his words over in her head... "Tony doesn't want you" – that just made her feel so sick. Had Tony and James talked about her before? Was James just saying that or was he telling her the truth? What if Tony just thought of her as a fling, not someone he actually cared about? Michelle just didn't know what to do. She couldn't face this day anymore. She needed a doctor, she needed some food and she needed some sleep. Now she had to go up and face Tony, he sounded so mad on the intercom – she knew he had changed his mind about her. Obviously he had woken up with a lot of regret. She couldn't blame him, she was such a mess right now who would want her. She would just go up there and tell him not to worry, he didn't need to explain anything and then she would leave. She was just going to have to try and put aside her fear of what was next and go upstairs and face him. She decided she was going to call her friend Angie and ask her to come and pick her up from work and take her to the doctors. She couldn't drive right now. She had already decided she wasn't going to mention what happened with James to anyone at CTU because it would just all be too much to deal with. Besides she was humiliated enough over all this Tony crap she didn't need another thing to add to the list. She wiped her eyes and walked into Tony's office...  
  
Jack was still stationed in Tony's office. He knew he should leave but he also worried about his friends and didn't want things to get out of hand if they didn't need too. He would leave only if they asked him too. The mood was so different in the office to a few short hours ago when it was filled with so much love and lust. All of those feelings were still there, they had just shifted to hurt. Both Tony and Michelle had completely convinced themselves that the other one would never want them. That the idea that they could be together was too good to be true. Neither one of them could think straight because they were so tired. The entire day's emotions had finally come to a head and both of them just didn't know how to deal with it anymore. Tony looked at Michelle, the lights were dim but he could still make out a bruise on the side of her face. He hadn't noticed it before, must have just been from this morning. She was also leaning to one side, she looked so awkward and uncomfortable. He didn't know where to start so he just blurted out, "So, I know about you and James."  
  
Michelle was confused, what did he know? How could he possibly know? "What do you know Tony?" He looked at her wondering how to respond, yet his brain just wasn't working and things kept flying out of his mouth before he even had a chance to think about them. "I know he wants you, I know he had his arm around you, and I have no doubt you want him too. That's fine Michelle, be with James."  
  
"That's fine?? You want me to be with James? I don't want James. Is it that easy for you Tony, I thought something had happened between us?"  
  
"No, I just know how things are going to work out if he is in the picture."  
  
"So you think you know what I want Tony? Doesn't what I say count? You think you have me so figured out....I thought you would have thought of me a little more highly than to be with you one minute and then with someone else the next. How can you not trust me? Especially after today. If you want out, just say so don't make this about me." "What, you think I don't want you Michelle?"  
  
"I have no idea what I think Tony."  
  
Things were getting heated very fast. It was almost as though they weren't really listening to each other, they were just saying what ever rolled off their tongues. Michelle hit a nerve with Tony today when she made the comment about today. She was talking about the events that lead them to the holding cell earlier and it made him think back to his thoughts about how he had given Nina everything and let Michelle the best thing that had ever happened to him get hurt. His thoughts rolled into one and before he knew it, her name had rolled off his tongue..  
  
"Nina..."  
  
Michelle couldn't believe it. All this was about Nina? Tony was never going to trust her because of Nina. As much as Nina had betrayed Tony and Jack all everyone ever talked about was how in love they both were with her and how smart and sexy she was. How good she was at her job. It was like before she was busted as the mole at CTU she was this perfect woman, one that Michelle would never be able to live up too.  
  
"This is about Nina?? You know what Tony, I can't handle this anymore. I am not Nina, I don't want to be compared to her. Don't you think I know how much you loved her? You too Jack (she shot him a look out the corner of her eye, which made him stand up) Don't you think I know how good she was at everything she did and that you have both got her up on some kind of Pedi stool. It kills me to think that it doesn't matter how much she screwed you both over, it's me that is paying for her mistakes?"  
  
Tony couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe the words coming out of Michelle's mouth. She had everything so wrong. He hated Nina with everything inside of him and if he compared the two it was only in the context of how much he realised he was lucky to find someone like Michelle after his experience with Nina. How could she think he didn't trust her after everything she had done for him today? He trusted her with his life. Tony was in shock and words failed him, he just stood staring. Jack knew he had to step in...  
  
"Michelle, you have to listen, I know you have heard lots of talk around the office about Nina and what happened but it is only because she had us all so fooled and no one can understand her betrayal. She was good at her job but so what so, is everyone here, including you."  
  
Michelle was confused. Tony still hadn't said anything. If this wasn't about Nina then why had he said her name? If they trusted her then why were they so convinced she had gone off with James?  
  
At that moment with all three of them standing silent so intense, trying to sort through their thoughts to figure out what was going on, Cory the head of security entered with Chappelle.  
  
Jack turned to the door and spoke up quickly, "Guys, we are really in the middle of something, can you please give us a few minutes?"  
  
Chappelle looked at Michelle and studied her for a moment. "Sorry Jack, this can't wait. Michelle I know you know what this is about. Are you ok?"  
  
"Oh my God" thought Michelle, they know what happened with James, they must have seen the video. This was the last thing she could handle now. She couldn't bare the thought of having them tell Jack and Tony. Michelle's body was starting to drain, she just had no energy left. She truly had never felt so hurt, alone and scared. She had to stop this now..  
  
"Chappelle I am fine. Don't worry please. I'd rather we not discuss any of this....please."  
  
"Sorry Michelle, I know you are frightened but I need to have you checked out and we need to talk about what happened. It's ok, we will look after you."  
  
Tony was completely confused, what the hell was going on. He turned to Michelle, "What is he talking about Michelle, what happened?"  
  
"Nothing, just forget it Tony – Chappelle please drop it."  
  
"No", Tony said with anger rising in his voice "nothing is being dropped. Now as director of CTU I demand to know what the hell is going on. Michelle you can tell me or are you going to Ryan? NOW."  
  
Michelle stood silent, tears started streaming down her face. She couldn't hold them back anymore, she couldn't be strong anymore. She wasn't going to say a word, it didn't matter anyway because Chappelle wasted no time...  
  
"Tony, Jack, it seems there was a situation between James and Michelle a short while ago. Cory found on the security tapes from tech 7 James trying to force himself on Michelle." Turning his attention to Michelle he continued, "Michelle we saw everything, we know he hurt you. We are so thankful you got away from him, you did great. He is being charged as we speak and you don't need to be afraid of him anymore, but you need to let us look after you."  
  
Tony filled with rage, "WHAT??? He touched you? He forced himself on you? Where did he hurt you? How the hell could you let that happen?"  
  
Michelle just about fell over in shock. Let him? Her worst fear was true, she had never felt so humiliated in her life. As she began to speak her words were choked with tears...  
  
"Let him? You think I let him Tony? I wasn't strong enough, I tried. I was scared and he was so much stringer than me. I got away as fast as I could......" Tony broke her words, "Michelle, I am sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I know you didn't let him, I am sorry please forget I said that it came out all wrong. It's me I am furious at – I should have protected you, it's my fault."  
  
Tony walked to Michelle with his arms out. He had to hold her. He couldn't believe he had been yelling at her, he barely even knew what they were yelling about and now he finds out this and he just feels so stupid. Tony put a hand on Michelle's shoulder, trying to be gentle but she took a step back almost loosing her balance. It felt like a knife was being driven straight through his heart, he had hurt her so much that now she couldn't even bare for him to touch her.  
  
"Don't Tony, you don't have too. Just walk away from all this. I can't believe how angry you have been with me tonight. I don't want to be the one that upsets you so much. I don't understand the Nina thing, I just wish you knew how much I would never, ever hurt you like that. I've also never looked at another guy since I met you, I couldn't and I wish you understood that my feelings have always been for you and I'd have never given that up for anyone else. I know how much weakness I have shown today and that I must have disappointed you, it hurts to think I have let you down. I'm going home, I just can't be here anymore....I have to go."  
  
Tears streamed down Tony's face. Everyone else in the room stood in shock. No one knew what to say. Tony didn't care to cry in front of everyone, all he cared about was Michelle – more than he possibly could have imagined.  
  
"Michelle stay.....please stay. God Michelle, don't you know how in love with you I am? I don't know where to start but please hear me out, please. I said Nina's name because I was thinking about how much she put me through and how much trouble she caused and how I had always treated her so well. Then I though about how much more I care about you than I ever did her and how much of a better person you are and yet even though you did everything right today because of me you ended up in that cell facing charges of treason. I was thinking how dead inside Nina made me feel but how alive you make me. I didn't mean to compare, but it was only because the situations felt so simular and I learnt so much from you today and I took so much good away and it was all because of you."  
  
Tony's voice was getting more and more desperate. He was basically yelling now. He knew the whole of CTU would be hearing everything he said but he didn't care. The tears kept flowing making it harder and harder for him to see straight, but he kept going...  
  
"Michelle I went so crazy before because I was so afraid of losing you, like I am now. You see when I look at you I see the most amazing woman I have ever met. I can't get my head around the idea that you would actually have feelings back for me. As soon as I heard about James hitting on you I figured I didn't have a hope in hell. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I would completely understand why you would want him over me, and I wish I could be more for you...  
  
Michelle broke his words..  
  
"Tony, I don't want anyone else but you. Since I met you I haven't been able to look sideways. You are more than I could ever want, you are everything to me. God Tony, I adore you."  
  
"Michelle let me hold you. I am so sorry." Tony began to slowly edge closer to Michelle again. The colour was draining form her face and she looked unsteady on her feet.  
  
"Tony, I am so scared. I didn't want any of this to happen. Even in the middle of the hell that was today, when you kissed me tonight I think I was the happiest girl in the world. Your touch, your arms around me, it felt like there was something so special between us."  
  
Michelle was still inching away from everyone. She had completely let loose on her feelings for Tony and she wanted to be in his arms, but she still felt frightened and scared. He was so angry.  
  
"Michelle, it was something special, more special than anything I have ever felt. Come to me, let me hold you. Why won't you let me hold you?"  
  
"You're still yelling. James was so rough...."  
  
Tony realised his voice was frightening her. She was scared and rightfully so after today. He wanted her to know he would never ever hurt her, that he was going to never let anyone hurt her like that again. He lowered his voice...  
  
"I am sorry I am so flustered. I just want to put you in my arms and hold you tight. I'll be gentle with you baby. Michelle trust me...."  
  
"I am so tired. I feel...I..Tony....I don't feel right."  
  
With that, Michelle passed out and hit the floor.  
  
Tony rushed and scooped Michelle up in his arms. Chappelle through his head out the door and screamed for a medic. Jack dropped down next to Tony and began feeling for a pulse. He found one, a little faint but it was there. He tried to re-assure Tony, "she will be ok, the stress of everything just got to her, help will be here in a minute." Tony sat with Michelle's head in his lap. He stroked her face and whispered her name. He couldn't believe how out of hand the day had gotten. She had been pushed too far, mainly by him. He was going to get her through this and then he was going to make everything up to her. He knew how much love she needed and he had all of that and more to give her.  
  
The medics arrived and took Michelle to the sick bay. After evaluation they allowed Jack and Tony back into the room with her. They told them that she would be fine, she had collapsed from exhaustion. She needed lots of rest, water and some food. She had stirred a little but was in and out of sleep. They also had taken an x-ray of her side and found she had a cracked rib from where James had kicked her. Tony asked if he could stay with her until she woke up. He then asked Jack if he would mind leaving him alone with Michelle for awhile. Jack told Tony he'd be outside with Chappelle if he needed anything and then left the room, leaving Michelle and Tony alone.  
  
Michelle was lying on her left side. Tony crawled up onto the bed and lay behind her. He just stared at her taking in her whole body. He placed his hand on the bottom of her shirt, he wanted to see where she had been kicked. He was personally going to kick James' ass for this. He gently lifted Michelle's top up a little until he could see the whole bruise. He was mortified; it was huge and so black. Tony put his arm around her arms, careful not to lean on her ribs but so that he was still holding her tight. He then began to kiss her neck softly. He then held her close and let her sleep. After awhile Michelle began to stir, she was slowly coming too. Tony checked around to see if there was any water for her when she woke up, there was none so he got off the bed and headed to the sink. When he turned around he noticed her eyes were open.  
  
Michelle saw Tony looking down at her with a small smile on his face. She was so happy to wake with him by her side. Without thinking, Michelle sat up on the bed and threw herself into his arms. "Tony, you're here....please let's not fight again. You mean too much to me."  
  
Tony's heart melted when she threw her arms around him. Things were going to be ok for them . "Michelle, I am so sorry – we will never go through that again, I promise. I want to get you home so you can get some proper rest."  
  
Michelle felt tears well up in her eyes. Nervous about what was next and also starting to really feel the pain in her side. She didn't want to go home by herself, she knew she'd never be able to sleep.  
  
"Sweetie, what are you thinking? What can I do Michelle?"  
  
"Tony I don't won't to be alone tonight, I...."  
  
"Michelle, you're not going to be alone. I am taking you to my house where I am going to hold you in my arms all night long, that's if you want me too..."  
  
"I do - Tony, tell me what you want...."  
  
"I want you Michelle. I want all of you. I want to be your best friend and your lover. I'm in love with you and I want you to be mine." Michelle looked Tony in the eyes. "I am so in love with you Tony, you have my heart. I want you and I need you. I am yours and I want you to be mine." She leaned in and placed her mouth on his. The kiss started slowly, barley touching. He touched her lips with his tongue, letting her know he wanted more. She opened her mouth welcoming his tongue. The passion was unbelievable, both of them moaned, so happy to be back in this position with each other again. Michelle ran her hands through his hair and then pulled him closer with the back of his head. Tony was in heaven, he could do this all night with Michelle. He wanted to take her home now. He pulled back and said "Honey, let's go, it's time to get you out of here and I want you at home where I have you all to myself – no interruptions." He finished with a wink and put his arms around her shoulders.  
  
Together they walked out to the main office of CTU. Everyone was pretty much standing around staring at them. No chance of ever hiding this relationship from the office!! Chappelle approached them, "Michelle, Tony, thank you for everything today. Tony I trust you will be caring for Michelle tonight....I want you both to take the next couple days off. I'll organise for someone to come to your place for a debrief tomorrow. Don't worry about anything else right now, just go and get some rest....we need you guys back here soon!!" 


	2. The 1st night

Tony helped Michelle to his car. They decided it was best to leave her car at CTU for the time being as she really wasn't in any state to drive. Tony was elated to not only be finally leaving CTU but to have Michelle by his side. His mind was racing trying to remember what state he had left his apartment in that morning, he knew it wouldn't be good as it's not like this morning he would have thought in a million years he'd be bringing Michelle home with him tonight. Always the gentleman, Tony opened the door for Michelle and helped her into her seat. He even leant across and did up her seatbelt for her.  
  
When they were on the road Tony asked Michelle what she felt like to eat for dinner. She thought for a second and then replied, "Do you want to just order in some pizza or thai or something – anything really, as long as they deliver so we don't have to go to any effort!" That sounded perfect to Tony. He turned the news off the radio and found some quiet music, he then took Michelle's hand and held it for the remainder of the drive. Both of them were nervous now, this was the first time they had been alone together outside of CTU. I mean they had gone for lunch together before on break from work, but this was so much different. They were finally being honest with each other about how they felt and it gave them both butterflies in their stomachs.  
  
"Umm Michelle, please don't mind any mess at my place. I haven't had much time to keep up with chores lately. I..."  
  
"Tony, I so don't care, whatever your place is like, I can guarantee mine is ten times worse."  
  
They pulled into the underground parking garage and Tony lead Michelle up the elevator to his apartment. He was on the top floor and had a great little balcony with a view of the city.  
  
"So, are you going to give me the grand tour Tony?"  
  
"Sure, not too much to see." Michelle took Tony's hand as he lead her through each room. His place was very modern and stylish. In fact it was a lot like her own place, they had very simular tastes. Tony checked his messages and there was one from Chappelle saying that John would be at his house at 2pm tomorrow afternoon to debrief both Michelle and Tony. 'At least they are giving us a sleep-in' he thought to himself.  
  
"Michelle, do you want to have a shower or something while I order us in some dinner? I grabbed you a night-stay bag from CTU when we left." (A night-stay bag was just toiletries for workers to use who ended up doing double shifts)  
  
"Ahh yes, I would love a shower. Are you sure that's ok? I won't be long."  
  
"Take your time, it will make you feel better. I'll probably take one after you." What he really wanted was to just take one with her, but seeing as they'd only kissed before he didn't want to push his luck. Besides he was happy to take things at any pace Michelle wanted, he was just happy to finally be able to put his arms around her and kiss her when he wanted. He grabbed some fresh towels for Michelle and showed her to the bathroom. As soon as she had closed the door he went crazy trying to straighten things up as much as he could. He called in for some chinese and pulled out some wine.  
  
Michelle carefully took off her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror. She had her fair share of bruises on her body. She felt weak and sore. She kinda wished that Tony had come in to shower with her. The thought of having him wash her back put a huge smile across her face. Usually Michelle was the type to take things real slow with guys but with the way she felt about Tony she knew it would be impossible to keep her hands off him. She wondered what Tony was like in relationships, had he had many? Was he scared of commitment? Michelle had only gone out with a few guys in the past and none of them were even worth mentioning. They had all treated her like crap and she hadn't really been happy in any of them. Her friends would be impressed when they met Tony. That thought made her excited, she looked forward to being able to show him off to the girls. She had told all of them about him before – she had even shown them a photo from the CTU Christmas party. Everyone had agreed he was a hottie. She giggled to herself when she thought back to the discussions she had had with her friends about how she should just get drunk at the next work do and jump him. If only he had heard them all talking about him like that!! She decided that when Tony was having his shower she would call her friend Angie and tell her where she was – she just had to tell someone!! She drew a love heart on the shower door with her finger, a habit she had done for years.  
  
When she was out of the shower and drying off she realised she didn't have any clean clothes to put on. She couldn't believe the thought hadn't crossed her mind until now. There was no way she was putting on the dirty ripped clothes she had on before, besides she couldn't really sleep in her skirt! She wrapped the towel around her body and shyly opened the door. Tony wasn't in the bedroom so she made her way down to the kitchen where he was fiddling in the kitchen, she surprised him.  
  
"Tony, I, um, I don't have any clothes to put on"  
  
Tony spun around to see his beautiful Michelle standing in his kitchen with just a towel on. She took his breath away. A smile crept across his face and he totally just stood there checking her out, forgetting to talk.  
  
"Tony...."  
  
He snapped back to reality. "Sorry, couldn't help myself. Do you want to wear some of my clothes? They will be big on you, but at least they are clean and comfy." The thought of her in his clothes was a major turn-on. He lead her back to his room where he picked her out some tracksuit pants and a t-shirt.  
  
"Thanks for that." They stood staring at each other. "I'll just go back into the bathroom and put these on – give me a minute?"  
  
Michelle slipped back into the bathroom and got dressed. Tony stayed in the same spot and waited for her. She was out in no time at all. His clothes swam on her but she looked so cute. He let out a small laugh. "You are adorable Michelle, come here." Michelle walked into Tony arms and they hugged tightly. He kissed the top of her head and then pulled back. "You smell so nice and clean, I am still so gross – let me have a quick shower before the food gets here."  
  
Tony headed into the bathroom and Michelle headed for her phone. She dialled Angie. "Where the hell have you been Chelle, I've been calling your mobile since yesterday. With all the stuff on the news, everyone has been so worried about you, are you ok?" Michelle could hear the anxiety in her friends voice, but she didn't have time to explain everything, she wanted to discuss Tony!! "Ang, I am fine, I'll explain later. Guess where I am? You will never guess....I am at Tony's house. I just had a shower at Tony's house...." Angie cut her off, "Oh my god, are you serious? Did you kiss? What the hell happened? Here we were worried you are out saving the world and instead your shacking up with Tony? You have to tell me everything. Where is he now? How did all this happen? Did you guys shower together?" Michelle laughed, "Shut-up for a minute so I can tell you!! I have to be quick because he is in the shower now. We had the day from hell, and it was just so emotional and scary. Basically we had to work closely all day but I totally freaked out this morning and he comforted me. Then we kissed. I started it Angie, but then he totally kissed me back! When stuff had calmed down at work we made out again, but then all this crap happened and we had an argument but then sorted it out. He told me he wants to be with me, and he didn't want me on my own tonight and so he brought me back here." Michelle stopped to take a breath and to hear Angie's reaction, "I didn't understand a whole lot of that Chelle, we are going to have to do coffee so you can give me full details – all that's important is that you guys finally got together. So tell me, is he a good kisser?"  
  
Tony was still smiling. He had laughed at the love heart drawn on his shower door. It's those cute little things that just make her so perfect he thought to himself. He could hear Michelle's voice, was she trying to talk to him? He got dressed and headed out to the lounge room where the noise was coming from. He stopped in his tracks when he heard his name mentioned. Michelle had her back to him and was trying to talk quietly into the phone. He just listened...  
  
"Oh my god Angie, he is the best kisser!! He has the most amazing lips. He starts the kisses off gently and slowly and then he puts his tongue into my mouth and everything just becomes so intense. I just wanted him so much Angie, he is so sexy. I could tell he was turned on as well....well actually the 2nd kiss in his office I could FEEL that he was turned on if you know what I mean."  
  
Tony blushed, and lost his balance having to steady himself on the chair next to him. The noise totally gave him away and Michelle spun around. She was horrified to see Tony standing there, with the worlds biggest smile on his face. She was totally busted. How long had he been standing there? Either way she knew he had heard her last sentence. She told Angie she would have to call her back and hung up the phone.  
  
"Tony, how long...how much did you hear? I am so embarrassed."  
  
Tony kept smiling and walked over to Michelle, he put his hands around her waist and looked into her eyes. "Well I wish I'd heard the start of the conversation, but I just got here in time to hear you tell Angie you thought I was a good kisser....now is that true?"  
  
"Oh yeah, you know – your alright, I guess" Michelle said laughing.  
  
"Alright, just alright huh? Are you sure because that's not what you said to Angie. Didn't you also mention something about how much you wanted me? You know, cause you think I am sexy!?!?" The smile on Tony's face could not get any bigger. He had never heard a girl talk about him they way Michelle just had and it felt so unbelievably good. He was going to milk it as much as he could.  
  
"Nah, I believe you have it wrong...what I said was that I could feel how much you were turned on." 'She is a total smartass' Tony thought to himself – he loved that. Nothing better than a woman with a good sense of humour who could hold her own. From that minute he knew she was going to be challenging and that was such a turn on.  
  
"Ahh....was that it? Maybe we should practice my kissing then so I can be upgraded from alright kisser to good kisser. I mean, I want you to be able to give Angie only good reports..."  
  
Tony started kissing Michelle just how she had described it to Angie. Slow at the start and then he pushed his tongue into her mouth. Michelle was still giggling as he kissed her. She was so use to seeing his serious side at work and it was so good having him be so playful with her. She couldn't believe how just being with him made her so happy. He gave her confidence. Michelle moved her hands down from the back of his head to his ass. This was the first time she had felt it and it made her nervous. He groaned at her touch and firmly run his hand up the side of her body spreading his hands as wide as he could to touch as much of her as he could. He had to keep remembering to steer clear of her right side where she had been kicked by James. He began to step back so he could sit on the couch, never breaking their embrace. As he sat, she pulled back a little. "Michelle, sit on my lap". She climbed on top of him so that she was facing him and had a leg on each side of his lap. Tony traced her face with his hand and gently slid his other hand under her t-shirt. He felt her flinch as he ran his hand across her stomach. She looked into he eyes and gave him a very seductive smile. They didn't kiss, instead just kept looking into each others eyes, taking in the moment. "You are so beautiful Michelle." Michelle reached for Tony's shirt and helped him pull it over his head. "Wow..." she gasped. "What" Tony didn't know what she was thinking. "Well, it's the first time I have seen you without a shirt on and Tony....you really are sexy." Michelle began tracing his chest with her hands. He had an amazing body. His arms were so muscly and strong.  
  
Tony was in heaven. Here he was with the most beautiful girl he had ever seen and she was sitting on his lap. It was the best feeling in the world to know that she was attracted to him. She made him feel so wanted. She turned him on so much, and it was so exciting to him that he knew he could turn her on as well. They sat, lost in each other until the door bell rang. It was the chinese food....they had both completely forgotten they had even ordered food. Tony helped Michelle off his lap and pulled his shirt back on. He grabbed his wallet and headed for the door.  
  
Michelle and Tony sat on the floor of his living room with the pile of food in the middle of them. Once that had smelt the food they both realised just how hungry they were. The first few moments just passed in silence as they both munched on their dinner. Tony broke the silence...  
  
"Michelle, do you think that maybe tomorrow after our debrief, I could take you out on a date? You know, out for dinner and a movie?"  
  
"I would really love that Tony. What do you want to see?"  
  
"I'm taking you out and so I will see anything you want to see....I am sure there is some crappy chick flick you would just love to make me watch!!"  
  
"Wow, I expected to have to fight a little more to see a girly flick....I'm sure there are plenty to choose from. I'll tell you what though, you suffer with me tomorrow and you can pick the next one...deal?"  
  
"Deal."  
  
After all of the food was gone, Michelle helped Tony clear away the boxes and they retreated to the couch in front of the TV. Tony asked Michelle, "How are you feeling sweetie? You must be exhausted. Are you ready to go to sleep?"  
  
Michelle was exhausted, but she was also nervous to go to sleep. She knew once she was laying there in the dark in silence she would start thinking about the day again. Tony grew concerned as saw the look in Michelle's face go from smiling to worry. "What's wrong, what are you thinking?  
  
"It's ok, I'm ok, don't worry" she tried to reassure him, but he wasn't buying it.  
  
"Tell me, I want to know what you are thinking Michelle."  
  
"It's just....I'm nervous to close my eyes. The last couple hours with you has been so nice, you have kept me so distracted but I know when it's quiet and I am trying to sleep all I will think about is today. I'm not ready to deal with all that yet.....Don't you feel scared Tony?" Tony wrapped Michelle in his arms. "It's ok, I am here. I know it's hard thinking about today Michelle, but it is something we are both going to have to deal with, and sooner rather than later. But we have got each other now and that's got to make it easier. You are not going through this alone, I promise you that. I'll tell you what, why don't we lie on the couch and we will put the TV on down low, you can watch that till you fall asleep. I will hold you Michelle and I won't go to sleep until I know you have."  
  
"Thanks Tony, I am so lucky to be here with you right now. I couldn't imagine being by myself right now. You know that I am here for you too right?"  
  
"Yeah, I sure do – you have been here for me all day."  
  
Tony turned off all the lights and put the TV on with the volume down low. He switched it to the comedy channel to ensure no news was going to come on. Michelle laid on the couch and Tony crawled up behind her, spooning her. "Michelle, how is your rib? Can I see your side?"  
  
"It's sore, but I'll be fine." Michelle rolled a little more onto her back and let Tony lift her shirt to see the huge bruise. He was so gentle and she could see how much it upset him seeing it. "I swear to God, they had better not ever let me near that son of a bitch." Tony lent over and kissed Michelle's side. "I am so sorry he hurt you Michelle. I am so sorry, I'll never let anyone ever touch you again." Michelle took Tony's hand and held it tight, "Don't be sorry Tony, it wasn't your fault. I don't want you to worry."  
  
Tony kissed Michelle's neck. He nibbled on her ear and pulled her body in as close as possible to his and placed his arm right around her. She closed her eyes.  
  
"Tony....it feels so good to be in your arms, to be so close to you."  
  
"You feel so good Michelle. I can't think of anything better than being able to fall asleep with you."  
  
With that, Michelle began to drift off to sleep. Pure exhaustion let her fall straight to sleep. Tony watched Michelle and stroked her hair until he knew she was sound asleep. It wasn't until then that he allowed himself to close his eyes, rest his head and fall asleep too.  
  
Michelle woke with a fright. Her sleep had started peaceful, but soon images of the day's events started flashing through her mind. She saw Paula trapped under everything covered in blood, she saw some of her friends lifeless bodies just laying on the ground. She looked at Tony, he was still asleep, after looking at her watch she realised they had only gone to bed a few hours ago. She slowly picked Tony's arm up and slid off the couch gently placing his arm back down. She headed for the kitchen to get some water.  
  
Standing in the kitchen by herself in the dark everything started flashing through Michelle's mind again. Tears began to well up inside of her and before she knew it she couldn't control herself anymore and she began to cry. She fell to the floor and tried to muffle her cries into her arms and shirt as to not wake Tony.  
  
Tony woke to find no Michelle next to him. He had to stop and think for a minute as to whether or not he had actually dreamed her coming home with him or not. Then he heard her cries. It was coming from the kitchen, he bolted into the kitchen to find Michelle hunched in the corner on the floor. Her knees were bought up to her chest and her head was buried in her arms that were on top of her knees. Tony sat beside Michelle and pulled her into his arms. He held her so tight and pushed her head into his chest and then placed his on top of hers, he kissed the top of her head repeatedly, "I am here, I am here, baby....I am here....it's going to be alright." He pulled her body in even closer to his, "I've got you Michelle, I've got you." Michelle sobbed so hard, she completely lost any control she had. She didn't want to be strong anymore, she couldn't. "I'm sorry I woke you Tony, I'm sorry....I" Tony didn't let her finish, "don't be sorry, just let it all out Michelle, you need to be able to get it all out, it will help you feel better." Michelle pulled her head up and looked at Tony, his shirt was completely wet from her tears.  
  
Without thinking things started just rolling off her tongue, "I hate CTU, I hate that place, I can't go back there again. How could we loose everyone like that today Tony? What about Mason? There is so much evil out there and today I realised that it doesn't matter what the hell we do, it doesn't make a shit of difference. Innocent people still died today."  
  
Tony just listened. He knew Michelle loved her job, she just needed to hate it right now. He did too. She was right, even though ultimately the bomb didn't go off in LA they still lost a hell of a lot of people along the way, it just wasn't fair.  
  
"Be angry Michelle, you are allowed. I am angry too. You made so much difference though today, without you our country would be at war right now. You have to know how much of a difference you made – hell, I would have never made it through the day without you. It's ok Michelle to feel everything you are feeling right now."  
  
Tony pulled Michelle back into him and they both stayed there sitting in each others arms. Michelle cried until she had completely worn herself out. She kept her head pressed into his chest and when there were no more tears left, she feel asleep in Tony's arms. Tony saw that Michelle had gone back to sleep and so he picked her whole body up in his arms and carried her back to the couch. He then crawled up behind her and took her back into his arms. He laid there wishing he could take away the pain Michelle was feeling. He didn't know how to though, and to make it worse he held the same pain and he didn't even know how to deal with that himself. All he knew for sure was that Michelle made him a stronger person and with her by his side just maybe he could get through all of this. Michelle made him want to get through it all. 


	3. 1st Day

Michelle was the first to wake. She shifted her body so that she was facing Tony. He was still out to the world. She started stroking his hair gently. He made a small noise but kept sleeping. Michelle just watched him sleep. She remembered last night and how she had completely lost it in front of Tony. He had been so good to her, he had held her so tight and she could see in his eyes that he was sharing her pain. She thought she would be completely humiliated for him to have seen her like that, but for some reason she wasn't – he had made her feel like it was ok to be like that because he understood. She had a small chuckle to herself, in the last 40 hours her boss had pretty much seen her display every emotion possible, yet here he was still so close to her. I guess being in this line of work was like that. There was a small group of them at CTU that had like an unmentioned bond between them. They faced some of the most emotionally terrifying experiences possible and because they couldn't take things outside CTU they only had each other to lean on. Michelle was pretty much the newest to this little group, although after yesterday she certainly considered Jack part of the group and he hadn't been around at all. She had gained Jacks trust in such a short amount of time and she knew he was going to be a close friend to her. Tony and Jack were close, they had a funny relationship, so up and down all the time – often at each other's throats yet ultimately there was no one the other one trusted more. Michelle kept stroking Tony's hair, he was starting to stir a little. Michelle glanced at her watch, it 11:45am. She had never in her life slept in that long, she couldn't believe it.  
  
The doorbell rang and Tony's eyes sprung open. He looked completely confused for a second as he tried to gather his thoughts. He was instantly comforted with the feeling of Michelle's hands through his hair and the little smile on her face as she said, "Good morning sleepy head. Do you want me to get the door?"  
  
Tony kissed Michelle tenderly on the lips, "I'll get it babe, you just wait right here for me."  
  
Tony headed for the door and was almost there when there was another knock. "Yeah, Yeah I am coming." Tony flung the door open to find Jack and Tony's best mate Mike (who didn't work at CTU) standing there holding beers and pizza. "Guys, beers!! I just woke up, what time is it?" Mike walked through the door and patted Tony on the shoulder, "It's lunchtime dude, and I hear you have been through hell, Jack called me and so I took the day from work so we could come and check on ya. Screw what time it is, you have earned a beer or two!"  
  
By this time Jack and Mike had made it to the living room and they both stopped in their tracks when they saw Michelle sitting cross-legged on the couch in Tony's clothes. Tony was right behind them, "Umm Mike this is Michelle, Michelle this is my best friend Mikey." Jack walked up to Tony and scruffled his hair, "Sorry Tony, didn't mean to interrupt anything." With that he turned to face Michelle and a huge smile crossed his face.  
  
Tony just let out a small chuckle. He was almost unsure of what to do. He looked at Michelle to try and figure out what she was thinking. She was pretty good at never giving much away. She stood up, "Nice to meet you Mike, Jack – long time no see! Can you guys just excuse me for a minute so I can freshen up a little. I haven't actually been home so you are just going to have to forgive my clothes right now." Michelle smiled and headed out of the room.  
  
Tony watched her walk, "Hey....I like those clothes and I like you in them!!"  
  
Tony, Mike and Jack all stood just staring at each other. All three of them had a smile on their face and a gleam in their eyes. Mike was the first to break the silence, "You are so busted buddy, but I've gotta say...well done, she is beautiful! So, are you telling me after all the hours I've had to listen to you talk about Michelle you finally got the guts to do something about it?"  
  
"I sure did Mikey. The days events kinda helped push things along, but we figured things out. She is amazing...."  
  
"Did you guys...you know..."  
  
Tony didn't let him finish, "No, fair game it's only been one night and we were exhausted. Besides it's not like that Mikey, I really care about her and want it to be right. Don't get me wrong, I want her so much, but it has to be perfect. I'm not like you...."  
  
Mike laughed, "Hey, hey I can be a gentleman when I want. Seriously though Tony, I am happy for you. Do you want us to go?"  
  
Michelle walked back into the room just as Mike asked his question, "No guys, don't go...you just got here.....besides I could go a beer, if you have an extra one?"  
  
Jack tossed Michelle a beer, "an extra one!?!? We have many extra's, don't worry about that!! Plus we have pizza."  
  
The four of them took a seat in the lounge room. Tony sat in the corner of the sofa with his legs apart and motioned for Michelle to come and sit in between them. Michelle sat on the couch between his legs with her back leaning into his stomach and chest. Tony wrapped one hand around her waist and sipped from the beer in the other. He couldn't remember the last time he had had time to drink in the middle of the day, but this beer tasted good and with Michelle in his lap he was perfectly content. He looked at Jack, "How are you doing Jack? How are you feeling? What time did you get to go home last night?"  
  
"I left pretty much straight after you. Kim stayed at my place last night and we sat up for a few hours talking. It was really good, I think I have a chance to really sort things out with her."  
  
Tony smiled, he knew the heartache Jack and Kim had been through and it made him very happy to hear they had talked. "That's great Jack."  
  
The four of them sat chatting about anything and everything. An hour passed before they had realised and when Michelle checked her watch again it was just after 1pm. "Tony, do you think I could borrow your car to go home and change? John is coming over for the debrief at 2 and I don't think he'll appreciate me like this."  
  
"I'll take you, it's ok."  
  
"No you stay here with the guys, I'll be back in no time. I am fine, I promise...just keep having a good time. I'll seriously change and come straight back"  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"So sure babe, just have another drink waiting for me when I get back."  
  
"I can do that!....be careful please."  
  
Michelle asked the guys if they would still be here when she got back. They would so she said she would see them soon. Tony got up and walked her to the door. He pulled her into him and kissed her firmly on the lips, then he brushed some hair out of her eyes, "Michelle, bring some extra clothes so you can stay here again with me tonight?" Tony felt nervous while he waited for her response. He hopped he hadn't been too full-on. "Is that a direct order from my boss?" Michelle asked with a hint of laughter in her voice. Tony relaxed and laughed. He tried to pull himself together and put on a firm tone in his voice, "Yes, that is a direct order and I advise that you obey it, you want to keep the boss happy right?"  
  
"Well, yes sir, I sure do. Even though my boss does look extra cute when he pouts." With that Michelle kissed Tony on the cheek and slid out the door. Tony stood staring at the closed door for a minute just thinking. How was it possible that for every second with this girl he just seemed to fall for her more and more. He turned and headed back to the guys.  
  
They carried on drinking and laughing. Jack and Mike tried to get more info out of Tony about Michelle but he wasn't giving much away. He did tell them though about her phone call that he overheard and they thought it was hilarious. He didn't tell them about what had happened during the night though, that was a private moment between him and Michelle even though he knew Jack would totally understand it. The boys kept drinking until they heard the door again, it was John and he had bought Nick and Sam with him from CTU. Tony was surprised to see so many of them, "Hey Guys, I thought it was just John coming?" John shook Tony's hand, "Tony, I bought Sam and Nick because we have a lot to get through. Sam needs to check any injuries you and Michelle have and Nick is going to help me with some of the tech equiptment." Tony was a little confused, "Tech equiptment? I thought this was just a debrief?"  
  
"Yeah we are doing the debrief Tony, but....we actually need you to make some decisions about James. Chappelle has still got him in holding but he can't keep him forever. As director of CTU it's your choice on how you want to handle the situation. We have bought the security tape for you to watch."  
  
Tony's stomach did a backflip. He hadn't thought about the fact that is was going to be him personally that dealt with James over what he had done to Michelle. He wanted to watch the video so he could see exactly what had happened to Michelle, that way he could understand totally. Tony was a little tipsy and he was glad, the next couple hours were going to be tough and he'd take any help he could get.  
  
Tony led the three men into his living room and introduced everyone to Mike. John surveyed the room, "Where is Michelle? Have you guys been drinking? You shouldn't be drinking before we have to do this Tony"  
  
"Back off John, we have only had a couple. We are not at work right now, we are all just trying to relax a little. Michelle will be back in a minute."  
  
As if on que, Michelle came flying through the door apolagising for being late. She had changed into jeans and a shirt and Tony thought she looked gorgeous. "Don't worry Michelle, everyone just got here." Tony turned to the three men and asked them if they could give them a couple minutes. John said that was fine and that they would go start setting up in the next room.  
  
Jack and Mike got up to leave but Tony turned to them, "Umm guys, please don't take off. I think we could really use you around here." Jack looked at Tony with concern, "Sure Tony, of course. Is everything ok?"  
  
Tony took Michelle by the hands. "Michelle, John has bought the security camera tape from yesterday with him. He wants me to watch it so I can make a decision as to what I am going to do with James. Chappelle still has him in holding but with-out me taking the next step we can't just keep him there."  
  
Michelle dropped Tony's hands. She had not expected this. There was no way in hell she wanted Tony watching that tape. "Tony, don't watch that tape. I'm asking you to please not watch that tape." She used her eyes to plead with him.  
  
"Michelle, I have too. I can't make any decisions unless I do. Besides I want to see what happened."  
  
"Don't make any decisions then....just let him go. I don't care. You don't want to see what happened Tony, trust me."  
  
"Just let him go...are you serious? After what he did to you? Not a chance, that guy is going to get everything that is coming to him.  
  
"No, listen to me. I'll just tell you everything that happened.....I'm not letting you watch it."  
  
"Michelle..." Tony took her hands again and traced her cheek with his thumb. Tony spoke with his most gentle tone, "Honey, you have to trust me. I know this is hard for you, but don't you think it's going to be hard for me to watch as well?"  
  
"If you know it's going to be hard, then just don't watch it. I don't want you to see what happened."  
  
"Well, I want to see, I need to know Michelle – don't you understand that?"  
  
Michelle pushed Tony away. Tears started to form in her eyes. "No I don't understand Tony. Why would you want to see that? Do you really want to see his hands all over me? Do you want to see how weak I was....how, how he ripped at my shirt and threw me to the ground? Do you really want to know what he said to me? I don't want you to see me like that. I don't want you to be disappointed in me. Surely I have a say in this situation? Doesn't what I want count for anything?"  
  
"Michelle..." Tony tried to take her hands again but she moved backwards. He knew she was angry with him and he could see how much this situation was hurting her and he hated that. He didn't have a choice though, this was his job and he had to take care of it. Relationships in the office were frowned upon and even though everyone seemed happy for them he knew if Chappelle thought he wasn't doing his job properly because of his feelings for Michelle then he would make trouble for them. The bottom line was though....he did want to see that tape. He wanted to know how to help Michelle through this whole thing and he knew he could do that better if he knew everything that had happened. "I know you are angry Michelle, but I have to do this. No I don't want to see any of that stuff, it's going to kill me to see it, but I have to. I would never be disappointed with you, how could you think that? James is the asshole here, I know you don't want him to get away with this."  
  
Michelle just didn't know what to say, she knew she was never going to win. She leant against the wall and folded her arms. She couldn't look at Tony, she just mumbled, "Whatever."  
  
Nick and John walked back into the room to find the four of them standing in silence. John felt bad knowing that it was their presence that was making everyone so uncomfortable. He knew they had to just get this over with as soon as possible, "Tony, Michelle, the video is set up ready to go. Michelle it would be best if you watched the tape with us, that way you can just sign a form at the end acknowledging that was you on the video. If you don't then you will have to give me a detailed statement on all of the details. I know it will be hard, but I think you will save yourself a lot of heartache if you can just get through watching it this once. Tony will be there right next to you....and you know we are all here to support you." Michelle was shocked. Was this guy serious, he wanted her to sit in the same room as everyone as they watched everything that happened. She thought about it though and weighed up the fact that the video must only go for a few minutes opposed to giving a statement which would take at the very least an hour. She kept her head down and focused her eyes on the floor and started walking into the next room. Might as well get it over with she thought, Tony would never look at her the same after he had seen this. She remembered back to when Tony had found out and he used the words "let him". He had taken it back straight away but it had stung so much when he said it. Now he was going to watch and see how easily this guy took advantage of her. She was so scared she was going to disappoint Tony, if she had one wish it would be that she would never be a disappointment in his eyes.  
  
Everyone piled into Tony's study. Jack remained in the lounge with Mike. Tony tried to stand behind Michelle and put his arms around her waist but she just stepped to the side. Tony couldn't believe that he had already managed to ruin the most perfect thing that had ever happened to him. It hadn't even been 24 hours since they got together and he had already hurt her. He would have given his job away in a second so it couldn't have this effect on them but there were two sides to this. James had touched his girl and he was going to pay.  
  
The video came on. Michelle kept her head on the ground. John noticed and felt so bad for what he was about to say, "Michelle, I am sorry but you need to lift your head and watch." Michelle lifted her head and stared blankly at the screen. She figured if she stared at it hard enough the picture would just go fuzzy. She stole a glance at Tony, he was rubbing the side of his face and his bottom lip quivered a little.  
  
Tony felt sick watching James lean in over Michelle. He could hear Michelle tell James that she cared for him and wanted to wait till he had woken up. She was so sweet, even in this position with James she was still being strong and honest about her feelings. Again he felt himself fall a little more in love. Then he heard James speak the words, "Tony doesn't want you Michelle, he just used you to get results today." Tony thought he was going to throw up. He couldn't believe those words had been said in front of Michelle and twice now. He hadn't realised he had been such a part of what had happened in that room. He clenched his fists as he watched Michelle beg James not to touch her and then he saw him grab at her chest and throw her to the ground. James kicked her and then slapped her across the face. James voice echoed through-out the room, "Do you really think Tony is going to want my sloppy seconds once I am done with you?" This was more than Tony could handle. He was going to be sick, he covered his mouth with his hand and ran to the bathroom where he vomited. He washed his face and rinsed his mouth out and stared at himself in the mirror. 'You have to go back in there' he thought to himself, 'this is not about you, you have to be strong for Michelle.'  
  
John had paused the video when Tony had left the room. Everyone stood in silence as they waited for him. Tony entered the room again and apolagised. He walked behind Michelle and rubbed his hand across her back. John looked at Tony, "That's ok Tony, are you ready to go again, there is only a minute left?" "That's fine, thanks John."  
  
They watched the end of the tape. Tony was so impressed with Michelle when he watched her kick James – she got him twice and both times very nicely. That's his girl, she kicked his ass!! When it was over Tony looked at Michelle, she had put her head back to the ground.  
  
'Well he has seen it now' she thought to herself. 'Nothing I can do about it now.' She raised her head and looked at John, "John, yes that was me in the tape, where do I need to sign?" John pushed across a form on the table and handed Michelle a pen, "Just here, you did great Michelle."  
  
Michelle signed her name and then went to leave the room. As she passed Tony she pulled him to one side, stood on her toes and whispered into his ear, "I'm sorry Tony, I understand if you want to just walk away right now."  
  
Tony was mortified. Walk away - was she kidding? He was never going to ever going to walk away. His feelings ran far too deep to even contemplate that. He didn't understand how all of this made Michelle think it would make him feel any less for her, it was completely the opposite to how he felt. He kissed Michelle on the forehead, turned her around and put his hands on both of her shoulders and had her walk out of the room, he was holding her tight. "John, I'll be back in a minute, ok? Help yourselves to anything in the kitchen."  
  
Tony walked Michelle out to where Jack and Mike were still sitting, they both jumped up when they entered the room. "Are you guys ok? What can we do?" Jack asked with concern in his voice. "Thanks guys, I have to go back in there and sort a couple things out, I won't be long. I want you to stay with Michelle please."  
  
Tony turned Michelle around so that she was facing him, he put his hands on each side of her face. "Now Michelle, you listen to me – I want you to hear what I am saying. I am so sorry for everything that happened to you. I'll never forgive myself for knowing I was sleeping in the same building while all of that was going on. Michelle, how could you ever think I would want to walk away from you after that? I am never ever going anywhere. None of that was your fault, you did so well to get away from him, not many people could have done what you did. None of what James said was true, I want you so much, in fact I have never wanted you more. Michelle I admire you so much. My heart melt when I heard you tell him you cared for me and wanted to wait till I woke up.......you are so, so good to me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Michelle. Please don't be angry with me....let me show you just how much you mean to me."  
  
Tears flowed down Michelle's face, she threw her arms around Tony's neck and kissed him. She tugged at his bottom lip to open his mouth and then pushed her tongue into his mouth. They kissed passionately for a few moments and then she buried her face into his chest. Tony stood holding Michelle and motioned over her shoulder for Jack to come over. When Jack approached them he turned Michelle around and put her into Jacks arms. Jack held Michelle tight and lead her back over to the couches. Tony headed back in to John to start tying things up. 


	4. 1st date

Jack, Mike and Michelle sat on the couch. Mike grabbed Michelle another beer. "Thanks Mike, jeez, I haven't really made the best impression with you today hey? Mike let out a small laugh and smiled, "Michelle, I don't really understand any of what has gone on – but from what I hear you have been really brave in the last couple days and you should be proud of yourself. Plus, I have never, ever seen Tony act the way he has today....you must be really special to him."  
  
"Thanks Mike, and thanks Jack. I am glad you guys are here."  
  
Jack and Mike started talking about completely random things to try and cheer Michelle up. It was working, they were both funny guys and before long Michelle found herself laughing. A couple of drinks later and Michelle felt a lot better. Sam walked out of the study and told Michelle that he needed to check over her injuries. She got up and headed back to the study where she crossed paths with Tony. "Michelle, I'm all done. You don't need to do your debrief today...I told them you had, had enough for one day and that we can try again tomorrow." Michelle was extremely grateful, she couldn't be bothered doing the debrief now and besides she was tipsy now and that wouldn't have made things any easier. "Thanks Tony, you're the best. I've just got to do this medical check-up thing." She pulled Tony in close and whispered into his ear, "I am feeling tipsy." Tony laughed, he was so happy to see her smiling again. He had also never seen her intoxicated before....he was excited. "Really...tipsy huh? Do you want me to come in with you and hold your hand?" Michelle grabbed his hand, "Yes please."  
  
Michelle led Tony back into the study. Sam had set up a make-shift bed and Tony helped Michelle sit up on it. Sam started checking her blood pressure and temperature. Michelle was playfully pulling faces at Tony who just couldn't keep his laughter in. Sam looked at them both wondering what was so funny. Sam asked Michelle to lay on her back so he could check out her side. When Sam lifted her top and Tony saw the bruise again it made his expression turn very serious. He took Michelle's hand, "you ok? Anything I can do?" Michelle looked like she was about to cry and Tony's concern grew and he leaned over closer in to Michelle. She looked at him and squeezed his hand, "Umm Tony, there is actually something you could do...." "What Michelle, anything?" All of a sudden a smile spread across Michelle's face, "Start figuring out what we are going to eat, because I am bloody hungry.....and you need to check on Jack, I left half my drink in the room with him and I know he was eyeing it off." All Tony could do was laugh, and he did. "Damn woman, you had me worried there for a second. If Jack finishes your drink, I'll get you another I promise...seems like I have some catching up to do!"  
  
Sam was satisfied that Michelle was ok. She certainly had her fair share of bruises but she would be fine. He instructed Tony that he wanted Michelle to take it easy for a few days. No work for the both of them for at least four days. "Suits me perfectly Sam, thanks for everything today."  
  
Tony showed the three men out and thanked them all again for their patience and for making the trip out to his place to take care of business. Then he joined Michelle, Mike and Jack back in the living room. "God, I am glad that's over....I need another drink, anyone else?" He looked over at Michelle who was happily parked back on the couch with drink in hand. "Not for me thanks." Both Mike and Jack piped up together, "hit me!!"  
  
When he was in kitchen Tony rummaged up some snacks for everyone. He plopped himself back down on the couch and pulled Michelle to come back and sit in his lap like she had been earlier in the day. "Now Michelle, don't eat too much because remember you promised me I could take you out on a dinner date tonight."  
  
The four of them spent the next hour or so chatting and laughing. It was exactly what everyone needed after the last two days. Eventually Jack and Mike said it was time that they make tracks, they both had plans for the night.  
  
After all the goodbyes were made, it was just Tony and Michelle left back in the apartment. Tony didn't waste anytime, he grabbed Michelle, pulled her in close and started nibbling on her ear whilst whispering, "So sweetheart, can I take you out for dinner now?" Michelle kissed his neck back, "let's go....but how are we going to get there, we have both drunk far too much to drive?" Tony reached for his phone, "I'll call us a cab."  
  
Michelle and Tony grabbed their coats and headed downstairs to meet their ride. In the back of the cab Michelle placed her hand on Tony's knee. He smiled at her and gave the cabbie directions to the restaurant. The drink was giving Michelle more confidence than she usually had and she was feeling a little frisky. She started to slowly slide her hand up Tony's leg. Tony looked at her hand, then at Michelle and then back at her hand. He wished they were back in his apartment, the slightest touch from this girl just drove him crazy. He leaned in close to Michelle, "do you understand what you are doing to me?" She smiled at him seductively and slid her hand to the top of his leg and grabbed his thigh. Tony gasped for air loud enough for Michelle to hear him. They both laughed, trying not to draw to much attention to themselves in front of the cab driver. Tony put his own hand over Michelle's to keep it in place. The rest of the trip was spent eyeing each other off. Once they were there, Tony kept a hold of Michelle's hand so that she slid across and got out his side. He opened the restaurant doors for Michelle and then even pulled out her chair for her.  
  
Michelle and Tony ordered a bottle of red wine straight away. The sat across from each other and the chatter started immediately. Tony asked Michelle why she hadn't asked him what he had decided to do with James. "Because I trust you would make the right decision Tony. I don't know, I guess I just want to forget about it...I'd rather concentrate on you." Tony smiled, "Well just so you know, he won't be back at CTU ever again." "Thanks Tony."  
  
Sometime during dinner Michelle and Tony begun to play 'truth' with each other. It was such a good way to learn little details about each other. It was Tony's turn, "so when did you first know that you fancied me?" "That's easy" Michelle laughed... "my first day of work! Remember you took me out for lunch to welcome me and we ended up talking for nearly 2 hours? I knew then that there was something special about you." "Good answer" Tony seemed pleased with himself. "Well what about you?" Tony took Michelle's hand, "I thought you were a hottie the day I interviewed you. That day we had lunch....I was suppose to actually be taking a couple people from the office but I cancelled on them so I could be alone with you. When we got back that day I changed all the rosters so that we would have the same shifts."  
  
"Really? Wow.....so how come you never asked me out before now?"  
  
Tony went a little red, "I don't know...I wanted to do, I just never thought I would have had a shot with you. Plus I liked taking my time and earning your trust and vice versa. I knew from the first minute I wanted to be someone important in your life, I just wanted to do it properly. I didn't want a fling with you Michelle, I couldn't handle that – if I ever got that close to you I knew I'd want more."  
  
"I just can't believe how lucky I am to be sitting here with you Tony. I've never met a guy like you before...you are just so sweet and sensitive. I'm glad we waited, the bond that's formed between us is pretty special."  
  
Michelle started talking again straight away... "Tony, what kind of other relationships have you had? You don't have to answer." "No, that's ok. Another glass of wine and I'll answer just about anything!!" He laughed, "Umm I have had 3 steady relationships. None of them were any good. The longest was about 1 year. Sarah was my first 'real' relationship, you know outside of high school and stuff. She just never did anything, never wanted to do anything, she was happy just to spend everyday sitting on the couch. After a little while I just got bored to be honest and so I left. Then there was Kate, she cheated on me. I was so stupid, it was like I knew what was going on but didn't want to face it. It's not her fault...I guess I just didn't offer her enough, if you know what I mean..."  
  
Tony stopped himself. He couldn't believe he said that out loud. I guess the drinks had affected him more than he realised.  
  
Michelle grabbed his hand, "Tony, don't ever say that. I am sorry she did that to you, but that was her problem, not yours – you were obviously too good for her." Michelle had been surprised to hear Tony say that, it was an eye opener for her. Tony always came across as such a strong assertive person, it was hard to imagine that he doubted himself like that.  
  
Tony continued, "Then there was Nina. You know how that one turned out."  
  
"Do you mind if I ask what your relationship with her was like?"  
  
"I guess it wasn't too healthy, I don't really know what I was thinking at the time. I think I had tricked myself into thinking the relationship was something that it wasn't. Before we found out she was the mole, I always knew she didn't care for me the way she should. She never, ever did anything for me. Not that I expect my girlfriend to do stuff for me, but well...like – ok for example, you know how yesterday when my neck was sore and you gave me that massage?"  
  
"Sure"  
  
"Well she would have never done anything like that. No girl I have been with would have ever done that. Nina never did anything for me physically or emotionally that wasn't ultimately for her own benefit..."  
  
Tony wanted to say more but became embarrassed. Michelle sensed there was more than he was saying, "Tony, what else do you mean by physically?  
  
"I can't believe I am saying this....your drunk too right?" He laughed, but Michelle knew he was looking for reassurance that it was ok for him to reveal his deepest fears and secrets.  
  
"Tony, yes I am drunk – but that's not the point. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything."  
  
"I just don't want you to think I'm like, like....you know, less of a man or something. My relationship history doesn't paint me in a very good light."  
  
"Tony, I make my own judgements and they are from what I have with you – not from how another girl treated you."  
  
"Ok, it's just with Nina it was like I was always 2nd to everyone and everything else. She only came to me when she wanted something. We were intimate, but I know for her it was just sex.....and probably only because she couldn't get it from Jack at the time. That's all it was, she certainly never....you know....spent time on me."  
  
"You mean she never just concentrated on making you feel good? She never went dow" - Tony cut her off, "No, never. I mean, that's ok. She said she couldn't be bothered. That's ok, it's not like I expect it or anything."  
  
Michelle couldn't believe it, "Tony, you know what I think?"  
  
"What?" He kept his head down, he wasn't use to being so open and exposed, especially in front of someone he cared so much about.  
  
"I think that they are the 3 stupidest girls in the world. I mean they had you, Tony Almeida and they ruined it! Which ultimately works out well for me, but they have no idea what they gave up. You can't beat yourself up over them, it is totally their loss. Tony, I haven't been able to even look at another guy since I met you. When you smile at me, shivers run down my spine. You should expect to be looked after back Tony. You should only ever be treated like an equal in a relationship, nothing less. Nina – I don't know what to say....she is a different kind of person Tony, she never even deserved to know you, never mind have you care about her."  
  
Michelle got out of her chair and walked around behind Tony and put her arms around his neck. "Come on, let's go."  
  
"Where do you want to go? Do you still want to see a movie or do you want to go back to my place and sit on the balcony with some wine?  
  
"Your place."  
  
They both got up and headed to pay the bill. Tony spoke to Michelle as they walked, "Michelle..." "Yes Tony?" He took her hand, "Thanks." Michelle squeezed his hand.  
  
In the cab on the way back to Tony's apartment Tony asked Michelle about her relationship history.  
  
"After my big speech to you back there I feel kinda silly telling you about me. My track record isn't great either."  
  
"Well, I certainly told you everything...so now it's your turn to spill."  
  
"Ok, first there was Ben. I thought Ben was great until I found out he was lying about his age, where he lived, what he did for work – everything. We dated for like 5 months and I swear I left the relationship knowing less about him then when it started. Then there was Matt, we went out for a year. We kinda just grew apart. He was more 'friend' than boyfriend material...there just wasn't any spark. Then there was Luke – we went out for 2 years and broke up about 15 months ago. He treated me pretty bad. He had the worst temper. It seemed when he wasn't yelling at me he was ignoring me. I should've left him long before I did but...."  
  
"But...how come you stayed Michelle? Did you love him?"  
  
"No, I don't think so, I think at the time I wanted to believe I did – or believe that he loved me, I'm not sure which one. It's hard Tony, when someone yells at you and puts you down enough you start to believe that's all your worth. I didn't think I deserved any better than that so for a long time I didn't see a reason to leave."  
  
"What made you leave in the end?"  
  
"I guess during training for this job I became more and more independent. I realised how much I didn't need him. That and my friends always on my back to get rid of him. My mum couldn't stand him and I got sick of juggling them all...in the end I just made a choice."  
  
"Michelle, did he ever push you around or hit you?"  
  
"No, never. I'm sure if I had stayed then it would have gotten to that point but mainly he just acted like a jerk."  
  
"I'm sorry Michelle. You know I'd never treat you like that right?"  
  
"Tony, you are the biggest gentleman I have ever met, I'd never worry about that stuff with you."  
  
The walk from the cab back up to his apartment felt like it took forever. Michelle and Tony just kept looking at each other and then shyly looking away. They had opened up to each other so much in the last day and they just felt so close to one another. Michelle lost her balance a little when they reached his door. She tried to compose herself but she couldn't stop laughing, "Tell me you didn't see that!?!?" Tony re-enacted her little stunt, "See what?" He pinned her against the door and leaned in so that his lips were just inches from hers.... "Do I need to ask if you need another drink?" "Well seeing as I have been wearing heels all night and I have only tripped once, yes, I think I should have another drink!" Tony brushed over her lips and starting kissing her cheek, he kissed her all the way down her neck. Michelle closed her eyes and let out a sigh and roughly ran her hands down his back. Tony covered her mouth with his and kissed her passionately. Michelle pulled Tony's body in closer to hers so they were completely pressed up to each other. Tony pulled back, "let's go inside."  
  
Tony lead Michelle through the door, he closed it behind him then turned to face her. She reached to put her arms around his neck, and he picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist. They stood staring into each others eyes for a moment and then began kissing passionately again. As they kissed, Tony carried Michelle over to the couch, once there he lowered her down. She kept her legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him down on top of her. Tony was nervous to put any weight on her ribs so he shifted so that he was lying next to Michelle, they were still kissing.  
  
Tony wanted Michelle so much, it was like he couldn't get close enough to her. As they kissed, shivers ran through-out his entire body. Things were getting more and more heated and Tony was soaking in every second of it. This is what he had wanted with Michelle for so long, he couldn't believe it was finally happening. He took his hand from her face and moved it down to the top of her shirt. He undid the top few buttons and slid his hand inside her top over her bra. She felt so good to him. His hands explored everywhere, taking in her stomach and her breasts.  
  
"Tony, take your shirt off." Michelle watched as he pulled his top off over his head. She loved his body. She ran her hands up and down his chest and then took one finger and traced the line on his stomach right at his pants, and then she put her finger under his waistband and ran it across his lower stomach. She felt all of the muscles in his body tighten as she did this. He rolled over a little and put one of his legs over hers and pressed himself into her side to let her know exactly what she was doing to him. She put her hand firmly on his backside and began massaging it...slowly moving her hand up and down the side of his leg. His breathing got heavier and again he pushed himself into her hip.  
  
He sat up a little placing one hand on her lower back so he could pull her up. He used the other hand to start sliding her top off her shoulders. She helped him undo the last couple of buttons and then he tossed her top to the ground. Reaching with both hands around her back he kissed her neck while he undid her bra and removed that too. He gently lowered her back onto the couch. "My God Michelle, you are so beautiful, you are just so beautiful."  
  
"Tony..." She put her hand back on his leg and moved it across his whole thigh, she ran her hand across his lower stomach again and then back down the other thigh, and she let her hand move from his outer-thigh in and then back up to his stomach.  
  
This drove Tony crazy, his kisses became more and more intense and he grabbed at her chest with more force. His breathing was so heavy. He took Michelle's hand in his and ran it up his leg and placed it on himself. He kept his hand on top of hers for a second and they both let out a groan. He was so hard in Michelle's hand, and as she began to rub him her entire body felt like it turned to jelly. He ran his hand from her neck all the way down her stomach and kept going. She rolled on her side so that she was facing Tony and then pushed his shoulder so that he was laying flat on his back. She then slipped her hands inside his pants. He let out a loud groan, "Oh My God". She leaned her face into his and kissed him softly on the lips, "Tony....do you want me to use my mouth?"  
  
He couldn't even answer her, he just nodded with his mouth hanging open and not taking his eyes off of her. She began to slide down his chest, kissing him all the way.  
  
Tony grabbed her shoulders, "Michelle, you don't have too, I don't expect you too... I..." Michelle placed her finger on his mouth, "Sshh, I want to. Let me concentrate on you."  
  
She began kissing his chest again and slid down the couch. Tony's whole body was moving involuntarily and he couldn't take his eyes of Michelle, he watched her every move. She made him feel so good. Like he had never felt before. There was so much passion in her actions, it was like she was enjoying this just as much as he was. He stroked her hair and put his head back on the couch closing his eyes. He wanted this to last forever, but he knew he couldn't. He held on for as long as he could and then when he climaxed it made his entire body jerk, his breathing was short and fast. "Michelle....Michelle, you are amazing."  
  
Michelle moved her body back up the couch and lay on top of Tony with her head on his chest where she could hear his heart. They both just stayed in that position for a few minutes reflecting on what had just happened. Tony stroked Michelle's face and her hair.  
  
"Tony, I wish you knew how good it feels to be this close to you....to hear your heart beating, to have our bare skin touching...."  
  
"Michelle, I am so in love with you. I didn't think it was possible to feel this happy."  
  
"I love you Tony."

OK - NO MORE UNTIL I GET REVIEWS!!


	5. 1st day continued

I'd better say this is 'R' rated just to be on the safe side. Lots of sexual references and minor bad language!! Very Adult themes.  
  
Michelle kept her head on Tony's chest just listening to his heart beat. Neither one of them had spoken in a few minutes but it didn't matter, it wasn't an awkward silence, they were both to caught up in reflecting on what had just happened. She wondered what Tony was thinking. She had such strong feelings for him, it almost felt like she couldn't express them enough. She wanted Tony to feel so special, like the most important person in the world. It sounded like his past girlfriends had constantly battered his confidence and she wanted to show him just how wrong they were to treat him the way they did. Michelle had known for a long time that Tony was a pretty complex guy, but she was now just starting to realise just how complex he really was. At work he was pretty conservative and serious. Such a strong leader who was very assertive and confident, he never took crap from anybody. Many times Michelle had witnessed him standing up to his superiors over something he believed strongly in – she loved that about him. Even though they had been together such a short time, Michelle could see these attributes spilling over into their relationship, just with the way he would say things like 'come to me' or pull her to come sit with him in a position he wanted – he was good at being direct about what he wanted with or from her and she really loved that. She loved that he was a real 'mans man' and was open with his protectiveness of her. On the other side, especially in the last 24 hours she had seen his gentle and sensitive side. She had always known he was a gentleman and had a very sweet side but she couldn't believe just how gentle he was with her. He held her at all the right times, kissed her at all the right times, used the right tone in his voice at the right times....basically he was just everything she had ever needed or wanted in a guy.  
  
Michelle turned her head resting her chin on his chest and looked into his eyes. He was looking straight back at her with so much love in his eyes, they were glistening. They stared at one another, small smiles spreading across both of their faces. Tony was gently stroking Michelle's back. He was the first to break the silence, "Michelle.....thank you."  
  
Michelle kissed his chest, "No Tony....thank you." They both knew nothing more needed to be said. They had both done more for the other one in the last couple days than either one of them could imagine. They really did make a good team, they always had, even at work – they always just seemed to know what the other one needed.  
  
"Michelle, I know all your friends outside CTU call you Chelle.....do you think I have earned that right yet?"  
  
"Mr. Almeida, you have earned the right to call me what-ever floats your boat."  
  
"Mr. Almeida?!?! Don't think I've ever heard you say that before."  
  
"Yeah well, 'Tony' just doesn't leave much for nicknames if you know what I mean."  
  
"Sure it does....I hear 'Tony' translates into 'Stud' in some languages!" Tony laughed at himself, obviously impressed with his own little joke.  
  
Michelle didn't want to miss an opportunity, "Ahh sweetie....I think it's 'Dud' not 'Stud'!!" Now it was Michelle's turn to laugh at herself, "Mmm that's right, I crack me up!!"  
  
Tony laughed and cupped her face with his hands, "As long as you make yourself laugh honey, that's all that counts. But you know there are consequences for calling me a dud."  
  
"Oh yeah, and what would they be?"  
  
Tony flipped Michelle back onto her back and started to tickle her. She was squirming to break free but couldn't get out of his grasp. She was laughing so much she had trouble breathing. Tony pinned her hands above her head and started to blow raspberries on her stomach which made Michelle laughter turn into almost shy giggles. "Ok, Ok, I am sorry....you Tony, are not a dud, you are totally stud....now stop!"  
  
Tony blew another raspberry, "That didn't sound like you meant it.....now what am I?" He continued to blow on her stomach.  
  
"Alright, you are a stud! Tony you are the world's sexist stud, there is no one more studly than you..."  
  
Finally he stopped, "Aww Chelle, that's such a sweet thing for you to say." Tony gave Michelle a cheeky smile. He stood up pulling his pants back up and reached out for Michelle's hand.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Well I was kinda hoping you would join me in the shower?" He kept his hand out waiting for Michelle to take it. She pulled his t-shirt on over her head and then took his hand and let him lead her into the bathroom. Even though they were going to shower together, both had covered themselves up for the short walk to the bathroom. Tony turned the water on and threw some towels on the floor, when he turned around Michelle was still standing there and hadn't even begun getting undressed. He walked over, standing very closely in front of her, "Chelle sweetie....are you nervous?"  
  
Michelle nodded shyly.  
  
"Chelle we don't have to if you don't want to."  
  
Michelle stroked his face with her hand, "No, no, I want to, trust me, I definitely want to....it's just it'll be the first time you have seen me totally, well you know....naked."  
  
Tony smiled and tucked one of her curls behind her ear. He leaned in and nibbled on her ear and whispered, "Don't be nervous.......here, let me help." He reached down and undid her belt and took it off, then he pulled her t- shirt over her head. Tony kissed her shoulders as he undid her pants and slid them down to her ankles. Michelle took in a large breath and didn't let it out until she had stepped out of the remainder of her clothes. She stood still in front of him while he tried to take all of her in. He was mesmerised by her beauty, "Chelle, God you are stunning." Tony took off his own shirt and pants, never once taking his eyes of Michelle. He then tested the water, put his arm around her waist and pulled her under the water with him.  
  
Tony stood behind Michelle with his arms around her waist. For the first time Tony noticed that the bruise on Michelle's side totally wrapped around her back, it was huge. He lightly traced his thumb over it. Michelle felt self-conscious of the marking on her body, "I know it's ugly Tony, before all I could think was that I couldn't believe the first time you see me with-out a top on and you have to look at this, I'm sorry."  
  
Tony turned Michelle around, "Michelle, don't you dare say you're sorry, I'm sorry. I don't care about the bruise – I care about you. I just wish I could take the pain away for you."  
  
Tony turned Michelle back around so that her back was against his chest again. He grabbed the bar of soap and began to slide it all over her body. The only sounds to be heard were the running water and Michelle's sighs getting louder and louder as his hands crossed over her chest and down her stomach. As he was kissing her neck and nibbling her ear, he kept one hand on one of her breasts and slid the other one down between her legs. Michelle's entire body tensed up, she let out a loud groan and shifted her feet apart a little more. It was Tony's turn to make Michelle feel good. He whispered into her ear, "Your body feels so good to me, I can't get enough of you." Michelle held his arm so he wouldn't move it away as she turned around so that she was facing him. She had to kiss him, she had to be able to look into his eyes. She grabbed at his bare chest and began kissing him passionately. It was one of the most intense kisses they had had yet. Tony moved so that Michelle had her back pressed up against the wall, he put his free hand up on the wall above her shoulder. Their tongues were circling each other roughly and every few seconds they would both tilt their head to the opposite side. Tony was groaning just as loud as Michelle, the passion between them both was so powerful – neither one of them had ever experienced anything like it before. With each groan they became a little more rough with each other until Michelle said, "Tony, I'm close..." They stopped kissing and looked into each other eyes. As she climaxed she breathed his name loudly and he pressed his whole body up against hers making it the closest they had ever been to one another and kissed the side of her face using his tongue. "Tony, you make me feel so good." He didn't respond with words, instead he put his tongue back into her mouth and continued their passionate kiss.  
  
The water started to turn cold. Neither one of them had even washed yet. They laughed as they washed themselves as quick as they could. Once they were rinsed they jumped out and threw the towels around their bodies. As they dressed into their pj's Tony joked to Michelle, "Well, its official....that was the best shower I've ever had." Michelle gave him a seductive smile, "Me too - you....you, you are amazing."  
  
Michelle clutched her side, it had been achy all day but now it was really kinda starting to hurt. Tony became concerned, "Baby, is it hurting?" Michelle didn't want to worry Tony, it was nothing she couldn't handle, "A little, I'll be fine. Do you have any pain killers here I could take?"  
  
"Of course." Tony grabbed a packet of tablets from his bottom draw and got Michelle a glass of water from the bathroom. "Was I too rough with you? Is it because of me?"  
  
"No sweetie, it wasn't you. I've gotta expect it's going to hurt. Really I'll be fine, don't worry."  
  
"Yeah, but I'm suppose to be keeping you calm and quiet, we haven't exactly been any of those things." They both let out a small laugh and smiled at each other. "The doctors would have my neck if they knew everything we had been up to today. What do you say we jump into bed and watch a DVD, you can pick?"  
  
"Sounds great to me, what do you have?"  
  
Tony opened up the cabinet underneath his TV to reveal a huge collection of movies. Michelle was impressed, "Nice....Tony you almost have as many as me!!"  
  
"Yeah maybe, but mine are all good movies!"  
  
Michelle stuck out her tongue at him and started sorting through all his movies. She noticed that there were not too many action movies. I guess he gets enough of things being blown up at work she thought to herself. Surprisingly he had some great romantic movies – perfect, just what she was in the mood for. She picked out 'For the Love of the Game' and held it up to Tony to see if he approved. "Why am I not surprised? Sure – least it's got baseball in it too."  
  
Tony set it all up for them while Michelle slid into his bed. He switched the light-off and crawled in next to her, pulling her close and wrapping his arm around her shoulder. They both got sucked into the movie and held each other close the entire time. This was the perfect way for them to end the day. It got to a part in the movie where the two main characters kissed and made up after they had had a huge fight. Tony looked over at Michelle who had her hand covering her mouth and tears streaming down her face. "Are you crying?" Michelle wiped her eyes, "Shut up, it's sweet." Tony laughed. 'Could she be more adorable' he thought to himself. "Chelle, you kick ass all day at work, you get through a bomb crisis....and this movie makes you cry??....You are just too cute, come here to me now!" He wiped her eyes with his hands and then she laid her head on his chest. He stroked her hair.  
  
When the movie was done Tony switched it all off and got back into bed with Michelle. She lay on her good side and shifted Tony so he was lying on his back. She started to run her hands through his hair. "mmm that feels so nice, I love it when you do that Chelle."  
  
"I love you Tony, close your eyes and get some sleep. Thanks for being my rock today."  
  
Tony leaned up and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. "I'll be your rock any day.....and I love you to the moon and back."  
  
Tony closed his eyes and Michelle stroked his hair until his breathing got slower and heavier and she knew he was sound asleep. She put her head on his chest and drifted to sleep thinking only of the man whose arms she was in.  
  
Ok peoples...what do you think? Do you want more? What do you want to see? Anything you didn't like about this? Please give me reviews if you want me to keep writing. 


	6. the next day

Rated pg-13 – sexual references but nothing too bad.  
  
Tony woke to the sound of Michelle's cell ringing. He picked it up and looked over to see that she was trying to open her eyes. She looked at Tony with one eye, "Can you just answer it?"  
  
"Hello Michelle's phone, Tony Almeida speaking."  
  
"TONY!?!? This is Chelle's friend Angie. Is Chelle ok?"  
  
"Hi Angie, yes Michelle is fine, she is just waking up and asked me to answer for her." Tony felt his face going a little red, this was the friend he had busted Michelle on the phone to the other night.  
  
"Ahhh I see, so she is still at your place? It's been 2 days!!" Angie laughed.  
  
"Umm yeah, I guess it has. We have, you know, just been trying to catch up on sleep."  
  
"Yeah I bet! Listen, I was just double checking with Chelle that she was still coming to the dinner tonight.....and to see if maybe you wanted to join her?"  
  
"Thanks, hang on – I'll just check."  
  
Tony pressed the phone to his chest and looked at Michelle who was now wide awake just smiling at him. "It's Angie, she wants to know if you are still on for dinner tonight....and if I was coming with you?"  
  
"I totally forgot about dinner!! Yes though, I want to see everyone! Do you want to come with me?"  
  
"If you want me there....I'd love to come."  
  
Michelle grabbed the phone out of Tony's hand and put it to her own ear. "Ang, we will both be there!! So excited to see you."  
  
"Chelle, I can't believe you are still at his house!! Things really must be going good. He does have a sexy voice though....I am impressed! I am very interested to meet him tonight babe, everyone will be!"  
  
"Just be nice, and no unnecessary stories thank you! I'll see you tonight!"  
  
Michelle hung up and looked over at Tony who slid over to her and kissed her on the forehead, "What kind of unnecessary stories? I'm guessing these are stories I am going to want to hear."  
  
"You will hear nothing...besides I am too sweet and innocent to have any stories!" She gave him a very innocent look and battered her eye lids.  
  
He just looked at her and laughed, "You sweet and innocent!?! I doubt it!!"  
  
Michelle and Tony both laughed and remained looking at each other. Tony looked at his watch, it was just after 10am. He sighed, "Chelle, we really should get dressed and head into CTU to get our debriefs over with. I am sure Chappelle wasn't happy we didn't do them yesterday."  
  
"Ok, if we have too." She went to get up but Tony pulled her back down onto the bed. He kissed her neck and slowly made his way up to her mouth. They kissed tenderly for a few minutes, just pulling on each other's lips and teasing with their tongues. Tony pulled apart just slightly so that he could look Michelle in the eyes, "I could stay here all day just kissing you." Michelle shifted the focus of her eyes to his lips and traced her own with her tongue. This drove Tony crazy and began to kiss her passionately. Michelle ran her hands through Tony's hair and down his back. She pushed him down so that he was lying flat on his back and then she climbed on top of him. She sat on his stomach so that she had one leg on either side of his body and then pinned his hands above his head. Tony was completely turned on by her taking control, he didn't put up any fight and just watched her waiting to see what she would do next. She leant down and kissed his chest using her tongue and then moved to his ear where she began nibbling on it. Tony breathing began to get heavier and his mind began to wonder to all the things he wanted to do with Michelle right now. He took one hand out of Michelle's grip and put it on her leg and began to massage it. She let his hand wonder for a moment and then she pinned it above his head again. She rubbed her nose on his and then pulled back slightly, "We really need to leave now and do our debriefs."  
  
"But I'm not done with you yet!?  
  
She smiled and climbed off him so that she was standing next to him on the bed. "You had better remember where we left on then.....I'm just following bosses orders." A big grin covered her face, she knew how much she was teasing him. She would have given anything to have climbed back on top of him, but she also liked the idea of letting him want more.  
  
Tony watched Michelle cross the room and begin to get ready. How on earth was he suppose to get anything done today after that!? He couldn't believe how much this girl clouded his mind. He was completely blown away by her beauty, just looking at her turned him on so much. Looking over at Michelle he thought to himself that he was the luckiest guy in the world to have her by his side. He was actually excited to take her to meet his family, in fact it was something he wanted to do really soon. He wondered if it was way too soon to suggest something like that. He didn't want to scare her off, she would probably run a million miles if she knew how much he was thinking. Tony had learnt over and over through his job that when you find something really special to grab it and embrace it. There was no point wasting time, because you never knew how much of that you had. Even though they had only been together for a few days, the feelings had been there for over a year. He had certainly had a lot of time to imagine what a future with Michelle would be like. He just wanted to be near her every second, he was already thinking about tonight – he didn't want her to go home, would she spend the night with him again? If he could have things his way, he would just have her move in with him so he could wake up every morning next to her. He knew he would have to put that thought on hold though for awhile – at least until he had a better idea of what she was thinking and feeling. In his mind, everything was just so simple....he loved Michelle and he wanted to be with her, he wanted to be an important part of her life and vice versa. He wanted to make her happy and offer her everything he could.  
  
As they drove into CTU they were both a little quiet. Nothing was wrong, they were both busy day dreaming. Michelle eventually took Tony's hand in hers and spoke, "Umm Tony, there was something I wanted to say...."  
  
"Sure Michelle, what is it?"  
  
She squeezed his hand and started tracing the back of it with her other hand. "I just wanted you to know how much last night, well the last couple nights have meant to me. I've loved spending all this time with you, my feelings for you just seem to be getting stronger by the minute. Last night...you know when we were....well....in the shower....it really was special to me. I mean obviously it felt amazing, but it wasn't just that – it was the way you looked at me while you were touching me, they way we kissed, the way you held me in your arms, it was like nothing I've ever felt before. I felt so close to you, like something really incredible was happening between us. Am I making any sense? I mean did it feel like more to you....or am I completely off track and to you we were just fooling around?"  
  
"My Michelle, my beautiful Chelle. It wasn't just fooling around to me, it was so, so much more than that. I was looking at you like that because I was just so in awe of you and the situation. It's hard to find the words to express what last night felt to me. For so long I've wanted to be with you and I've imagined so many different scenarios of what it would be like but then last night when we finally had those intimate moments all I could think was just how perfect it was. I couldn't believe how good it felt to touch you, to make you feel good, to be that close to you. You made me feel so amazing Chelle.....I can't stop thinking about it. Something incredible is happening between us and it is so much deeper than just 'fooling around'."  
  
Tony was having trouble concentrating on the road because all he wanted to do was look at Michelle. He pulled off into the emergency lane and stopped the car. He turned and took Michelle by both her hands, "Chelle, I know what it is...."  
  
Michelle looked deep into Tony's eyes eagerly waiting to hear what he was going to say.  
  
"Chelle I know I have said I love you before, but really....I am IN love with you. Love can be used too easily, and I have loved you for a long time as a friend and someone I truly care about but this is different, I have fallen IN love with you as the person I want to share myself with. I want to be so close to you.....Chelle I want to be that 'special' person in your life. Do you know what I mean?"  
  
Michelle knew exactly what he meant. "Tony, you already have become that 'special' person in my life. You stir up emotions inside of me that I didn't even know I had. I am IN love with you too Tony, I really am."  
  
They kissed a short kiss and then they pulled each other in close for a hug. They held each other so tight. Michelle pulled back, looked at Tony and let out a small giggle. "What are you laughing at?"  
  
"This all just seems so crazy Tony. I mean look at as....who would have ever thought!! Look what is happening between us....I mean we haven't even had sex yet!!"  
  
Tony laughed. "I know, I can only imagine the stick I'd get from my mates if they could hear us!! Maybe you should be careful about what you say Michelle....I mean I might turn out to be a big disappointment in bed and then you will want to take everything you have said back." Although he was joking, a wave of panic crossed through his mind at the thought of what he had just said.  
  
Michelle looked over Tony's whole body making it totally obvious she was perving on him, "Trust me Tony, I've checked you out.....and I know you will be damn fine in bed. With that body, those hands, those arms....how could you possibly go wrong?"  
  
Hope you guys are enjoying this. Still got a few idea yet....want me to keep going? 


	7. CTU

This is rated like pg – lots of drama!! Hope you like it...  
  
When they arrived at CTU, Tony took Michelle's hand and led her into the office. It felt nice that they didn't need to worry about hiding their relationship and he just felt so proud to have her by his side. They looked around them, the place was still in such a mess. It bought them both crashing back down to reality so quickly. There were dark stains on the floor that were obviously from people's blood. Desks were still over- turned and papers were everywhere. Michelle had to remind herself to keep breathing, she griped Tony's hand very tightly trying to let him know how she was feeling.  
  
Tony knew exactly what Michelle must be feeling, because he felt the same way. He squeezed her hand back to let her know he knew and he was there for her. They both just stood still for a few minutes just trying to take the whole situation in. Tony knew that it was so important for him to be strong right now, for his staff and also Michelle. He needed to guide all of the workers with putting the pieces of their office back together, he wanted though to show Michelle just how much she could lean on him, how strong he was, that he wasn't going to crumble. Michelle and Tony began making their way around the office greeting everyone and checking how they were doing. Tony met with Jason, the other director of CTU who worked the opposite shifts to Tony. They sat and started discussing their approach to the situation for the next month or so. Although Tony was not due back at work for another few days, he offered Jason his support 24 hours a day, making sure he knew he could count on him whenever he needed.  
  
Chappelle then rounded Tony and Michelle so that they could be taken in for their debriefs for all of their events and actions on the day of the bomb. Everyone had to be debriefed on their own and so he was going to have Michelle go to room 5 and Tony to room 3. He hoped they would both be done in roughly an hour.  
  
Tony took Michelle aside to say goodbye, "Are you ok to do this sweetheart?"  
  
"Yeah I guess. Kinda hits you coming back here though hey? I just hate having to think about it all again."  
  
"I know its hard baby, but we just have to get through this and then we can work on moving forward. I'm just down the hall if you need me, ok? I'll tell you what, once we are done here, I'll take you out for a nice lunch – just the two of us."  
  
Michelle kissed Tony on the cheek. "You're such a sweetie. Lunch sounds great. Tony, this is just as hard on you too, I want you to know that I am here for you as well. You don't have to be the strong one all the time."  
  
Tony gave Michelle a smile and a wink and then headed into room 3. He sat at the table in the middle of the room and nervously played with the side of his face. John came into the room and took a seat across from Tony. "Now Tony, we are going to need to start right at the beginning of the day and work through everything you remember." Tony showed he understood by nodding his head and waited for the questions to begin.  
  
As the two men worked through the day Tony couldn't believe how much had actually fit into the time frame. He had a bit of trouble remembering what happened when, but with a little prompting from John he was able to put the pieces together. It was a lot harder thinking back on it all then Tony had thought it would be. He choked over his words when he told about watching Mason leave CTU for the last time and also when he learned it would be Jack who took the plane down. He felt as though he was reliving the emotions of the day again – he almost felt elated when he reported that he had been the one to tell Kim her Dad was still alive. He felt sick to his stomach when he told of how he knew Michelle was keeping things from him about Jack so he asked Carrie to help him monitor her. Although he didn't want too, he also mentioned how he had grabbed Michelle by the arm outside the bathrooms and gruffly whispered into her ear that she had better not be lying to him. He told of how he pulled a gun on Jack – but he didn't mention how weak and pathetic he had felt when Jack dropped him in two seconds flat. It was another emotion he had to deal with right now though and add to the pile. He started to feel really hot, sweaty and uncomfortable. He wondered how Michelle was doing.....was she finding it this hard?  
  
They talked about Michelle's brother coming in and attacking Carrie and how he had gone after Michelle to see if she was ok. He chose not to tell John what Michelle had cried about, that was personal for her – instead he just said that she was so tired and scared, which was the truth anyways. He told John that they kissed then for the first time. John offered Tony a small smile and then moved right along. They got to the area when things started to get sticky because he and Michelle began breaking protocol to help Jack. This was the part he was so angry at himself for – he was so ashamed that he had brought Michelle into it all, that he had actually taken her help in committing treason. How could he have done something so stupid? How could he have put her entire future on the line to help him out? He was her boss, what if he had made her feel like she had to agree with what he was doing? What if Jack hadn't pulled through with enough evidence to get them off the hook, Michelle would be sitting in a jail cell right now – all because of him. There were so many things he could have done differently that day. If he had been more aware of what was going on, he could have evacuated earlier and maybe so many people wouldn't have had to die. The pile of emotions that had been building in Tony's mind finally fell and it was like he was suppose to deal with them all at once. He didn't know how too. He felt like such a bad person. Tears started falling from his eyes and he just couldn't stop them.  
  
Michelle had finished her debrief and was waiting for Tony. It had been hard, and she had cried but she still believed what her and Tony had done that day was right and she was happy to stick by their actions. The hardest parts had been when Michelle remembered that at first she didn't want to evacuate....if she hadn't stalled would more people have lived? Also when her brother had caused the scene at work – it wasn't just him by that point though, it was everything. She wondered what was taking Tony so long. She looked up to see John walking out of the room by himself, he came straight over to Michelle, "We are all done. Ummm Michelle you might want to go in and see Tony, he is very upset – I figured he wouldn't have wanted me in the room any longer but I am sure he would want to see you."  
  
Michelle's stomach did a flip. She thanked John and headed for room 3. She walked into the room and closed the door behind her. Tony was sitting with his head between his legs. He looked up to see who it was. She couldn't believe it....he had tears streaming down his cheeks. His face was puffy and his eyes were all red and swollen – he was a mess. He quickly wiped his eyes and lowered his head again, he spoke with a very stern voice, "Michelle please go, I don't want you to see me like this."  
  
"Tony, I am here for you, its ok." She started to walk over to him but he jumped out of the chair and backed up against the wall, "Just go! I can't have you in here right now." He waited but she didn't budge. "MICHELLE – GET OUT OF HERE" he screamed at her.  
  
"No Tony, I am not going anywhere. You know you wouldn't leave my side, and I am not going to leave yours. We can work through this together baby."  
  
"No we can't Michelle. There is nothing to work through, it is all perfectly clear to me just how much I stuffed everything up the other day. I am quitting CTU. I don't deserve to be with you Michelle...." He was bawling now, there were so many tears he couldn't see at all. He could barely talk, and it felt like he choked on every word that tried to leave his throat. "How could I have let all this happen? How could I have dragged you into all that mess Michelle? What kind of person does that to someone they love?"  
  
Michelle felt so sick. She had never seen Tony like this before and it completely broke her heart. She ran over to him and threw her arms around his neck, "Tony, you did nothing wrong. I love you...Tony baby, I am not use to seeing you like this...." He took her arms off from around his neck and cut her off before she could finish what she was saying, "Yeah I know, I am meant to be strong, just another way I have let you and everyone down. I tried to be strong Michelle, but I just can't, not when I think about the way I have acted. I am sorry you are seeing me like this."  
  
"Tony, I am not sorry. I need to know how you are feeling so we can work through this together. I don't expect you to be strong all the time Tony – you have been through hell and you have been there for me every second, it's your turn to lean on me honey." Tony turned away from her to face the wall so that she wouldn't see a new batch of tears streaming down his face. Michelle grabbed some of the huge books and folders that were on the desk and put them on the ground behind Tony. She then stood on them behind his back so that she now reached just a little bit taller than him. She put her left arm around Tony's neck and rested it on his chest, she then put her right hand just above his right ear and stroked his hair. She spoke softly into his ear, "Tony, you need to listen to me. I was there all day – I watched everything you did, you should be proud of every single move you made all day. Tony I admire you for how you handled yourself, you were everyone's rock, including mine and none of us could have gotten through the day with out you. How can you possibly be angry with yourself?"  
  
Tony was listening to Michelle. He loved her, and he heard every word she spoke. Even though he hated her seeing him like this, he felt so comforted having her hold him the way she was. She kept stroking his hair and rubbing his chest, her head was rested on his shoulder. "But what about what I had you help me do to Chappelle? What if Jack didn't pull through for us Michelle? You would be in jail right now."  
  
"Tony I played just as big a part in all of that as you. You didn't make me do anything – don't forget I was the one who started by working behind your back in the first place, even if you hadn't have gotten on board, I would have kept helping him anyway – because that is what I believed was the right thing to do Tony. Your right, if Jack had been wrong, we'd be in jail right now, but that's not your fault and you know what Tony....I still wouldn't regret my actions. I'd be in jail because I followed my heart, just like you did. I just felt so lucky that I had you by my side. I respect you more than I respect anyone in this world Tony, so knowing you believed in what I believed made everything feel so right. AND we were Tony, we did make the right choices that day and everything worked out.......don't you see that Tony?"  
  
"Yeah I do see that Michelle. You know that is something I love about you so much...the fact that you do what you believe is right in a situation no matter what the consequences are for you."  
  
"Tony, that's exactly what you are like too. I have always loved that about you, in fact you are the reason I have the strength to do that.....because I have watched you be like that many times over the last year."  
  
"What about all the people that died Michelle, maybe I could have done more."  
  
"Tony, every single person involved could say the same thing. Hell, I was just thinking that to myself before, but we can't live in the 'what-if's' because it is not going to change anything. You did what you felt was right at the time and you need to trust in that, trust in yourself. You are a good agent Tony....the best – stand by the decisions you made that day. You saved so many lives. I know we lost people, and it is just so unfair, it's ok to feel sad about them but you cannot blame yourself."  
  
Tony felt a lot better. Michelle had managed to say exactly what he needed to hear. He put his hand over Michelle's hand that was on his chest, "Thanks Michelle." He then turned around so that they were facing one another and threw his arms around her and hugged her so tightly. She held his embrace as firmly as she could. She rubbed his back with both of her hands. She pulled back slightly and placed her hands on his cheeks, "Tony do you trust me? Do you believe what I say?"  
  
"Yes Michelle, of course, I trust you with my life." He was a little confused where this was leading...  
  
"Do you believe me then when I tell you that you could not have done anything more to save those people?"  
  
"Yes Michelle, I do."  
  
"Do you believe me when I tell you that I made my own decision to help you against Chappelle and I did what I thought was right.....that it wasn't your fault?"  
  
Tony hesitated for a moment, but he knew what she was saying was right, "Yes, I do believe you."  
  
"Do you believe me when I tell you that you acted admirably and that you couldn't have done anything more than you did?"  
  
"Ummm...."  
  
"Tony!!"  
  
"Ok, yes – I do."  
  
"Do you believe me when I tell you that I love you? That I think you are the most amazing person in the world?"  
  
Tony smiled and leant in to kiss Michelle – but she pulled back, "Answer the question Tony!"  
  
Tony held Michelle's hand and kissed the top of it, "Yes sweetheart, I believe you – I think your crazy......but I believe you."  
  
They both leaned in and began to kiss. It was very soft and gentle. They tugged on each other's lips and rubbed noses. Tony looked deep into Michelle's eyes, "thank you my Chelle, I don't even know what to say....I am sorry I was such a mess."  
  
"Don't be sorry, just promise me that you will always come to me when you are sad. That's what I am here for Tony....I'm not just all good looks ya know" she laughed.  
  
Tony laughed back. She always made him laugh. He wiped his eyes, "God, I must look a real sight. I can't go out there like this."  
  
"You wait here, I'll go grab you a wet towel to wash your face. Then you will be fine. I've been thinking.....I am going to take you to lunch today babe, there is somewhere I have in mind."  
  
Michelle closed the door behind her on the way out. Tony didn't move positions at all, he just stood there thinking about how much better she made him feel. He had gotten so upset, he was surprised at himself. He just had too many emotions built up inside that he hadn't known how to deal with. When Michelle had laid it all out for him though, it was so much easier to think about and handle. He truly believed everything she had said to him. At the bottom of his heart he knew he was a good person and that he always tried to do his best at work, Michelle was right – he just needed to trust in himself.  
  
Michelle came back into the room with some water and a wet towel. She sat Tony on the chair and bent down between his legs, she gently wiped the towel across his tear stained eyes. He held her hand, "I've never felt as close to somebody as I do right now with you Michelle." She put the towel down and sat on his knee, he put his arms around her waist to hold on to her. "Tony, me too. You are so special."  
  
The hugged again and stayed in each other's arms for quite a few minutes – just enjoying holding each other. Michelle whispered into Tony's ear, "Let's go babe, I think you will like what I have got in mind for us this afternoon."  
  
Alright, that's that chapter – pretty full-on, I know. If you want another one – I promise it will be more romantic again. (It's good to have this stuff though so you understand just how close they are) 


	8. lunch and play time

Pg-13 – sexual references!!  
  
Tony was relieved to be out of CTU and in the car again. He felt it was still obvious he had been crying and he was very shy about anyone from work seeing him like that. Michelle had directed him to head towards Shenton Park. Michelle was trying to find something decent on the radio, he took her hand, "Chelle, you don't know how much I needed you back there, thank you so much. That was the last thing in the world I wanted you to see."  
  
"Why are you so worried about me seeing you cry?"  
  
"Because I am suppose to be the one looking after you. I want you to know that no matter how bad things ever got you could always count on me to be the strong one....the one person you knew would never crumble. It wasn't exactly my most manly moment!"  
  
"Tony, we are suppose to look after each other. That's part of being in a relationship, we are a team and that means that we both get to look after one another. I want to be able to make you feel better, cheer you up when you are down, hold you when you need to be held – you're my precious Mr. Almeida and I'll always want to look after you. I already know how much I can count on you to be strong....you have proved that over and over to me. Today wasn't about you being strong Tony, it was about you facing issues that had been building up. As for manly – I actually like a guy who can show some emotion. There are not enough guys in the world who are man enough to cry."  
  
"I guess I have just never been with someone before that thought like that. Everyone else didn't look at the relationship like we were a 'team', it was more that I was just meant to look after them. They probably would have laughed at me had they seen me cry."  
  
"Do you want us to have a relationship like that Tony? Because it doesn't sound very fair to me..."  
  
"No, no I don't – I want what we have got Chelle....I'm just not use to it is all..."  
  
"Besides Tony, look how close that made us today. I've never wanted to hold somebody as tightly as I did you. "  
  
They had arrived at Shenton Park, so Tony parked the car, turned the engine off and turned to face Michelle. "Well, that's true. When you stood behind me on those books – which I thought was adorable by the way – and put your arms around me I couldn't believe how much better I felt instantly. Chelle, when I look at you, all I want it to be able to touch you, when I touch you, it's like I just can't get close enough to you...." He put his hand on her leg and stroked it whilst giving her a wink.  
  
"Mr. Almeida.....are you making a pass at me?" Michelle gave him a seductive smile and licked her lips.  
  
"I think I might be..." Tony leaned in and began to kiss Michelle. He ran his hand right up her leg to her waist, he then slid his hand under her top and ran his hands across her bare stomach. She took in a deep breath and plunged her tongue into his mouth. She cupped his face tightly with both of her hands. He moved his hand up to her bra, which he then traced with his fingers. He gently caressed her. Tony let out a small groan and Chelle leaned her body in closer to him. He moved his other hand to her waist, but she pulled back slightly, "Sweetie, if I don't stop you now, I might not be able too....plus we might get arrested!" He smiled at her, and kissed her on the nose, but he still didn't move his hand from her chest. She reached inside her top and took his hand and held it in hers – he tried to protest. "Tony, your making me have very naughty thoughts – and we are at a family playground." She laughed.  
  
"Really, and what kind of naughty thoughts would they be Chelle?"  
  
"Oh you know...of all the things I want to do to you."  
  
Tony took in a deep breath and Michelle could tell he was totally turned on. He was in a very playful mood. "Like what? What do you want to do to me?"  
  
"If I tell you, then you won't want to get out of the car and come see what I thought we could do this afternoon."  
  
"Scouts honour, just tell me something and I promise I'll get out of the car."  
  
She looked into his eyes, they were begging to hear what she had to say. She shuffled closer to him on the seat and turned her body in to face him. She put her hand on his knee and leaned in to his ear. "Almeida, I want to unbutton your shirt and take it off. I then want to kiss you all over, starting at your neck and working my way down your chest." Tony let out a small groan, bit his lower lip and closed his eyes. "Are you picturing this Tony?" He nodded his head and said yes. She nibbled on his ear and then whispered into his ear again, "At first they will be gentle kisses, but the more I give you, the more excited I will become and so they will begin to get more and more firm. I will run my tongue from your belly button to the top of your pants." She ran her hand up his leg to his lap and softly caressed him. He groaned again, loudly this time and she felt him tense up as he slightly lifted himself up and pushed his himself into her hand. This made her let out a deep sigh. "After I have smothered you with kisses, I will undo your belt and take off your pants." She gripped him a little more tightly, he held his breath, "and the rest baby....I am sure you can work out what happens from there...." She took her hand off him and placed it on his cheek and gave him a kiss on the lips. He slowly opened his eyes, "Chelle, you drive me crazy....do you have any idea how much you turn me on?"  
  
"It can't be half as much as your turn me on Tony. You are my sexy Almeida!" She grabbed his hand and went to open the car door, "Are you ready?"  
  
"Yep, let's go."  
  
Shenton Park was a huge family place. There were parklands, a man-made lake, barbeques, bike tracks, food vendors, basketball courts and baseball cages.  
  
Tony had his arm around Michelle as they headed for the information booth, "I haven't been here in years Michelle, and this is the best idea ever!! What are we going to get up to here?" He was so excited, with the gleam in his eyes and the grin on his face he looked like a little kid.  
  
"Yay, I'm so glad you're excited. I wanted to bring you here to get you outside in the sunshine. Just to let loose for awhile. There is so much fun stuff for us to play with here!! You wanna eat first or go hit some balls?"  
  
He grabbed her hand and pulled her faster to the booth, "let's hit some balls!!" They hired out a basketball, a baseball bat, some balls and gloves and then headed for the baseball cage. Michelle wasn't going to be able to swing the bat because of her side and so she told Tony she would pitch for him. They spent nearly an hour pitching, batting and playing catch with each other. Tony had grown up playing baseball and it had been years since he had done anything like this and it made him so happy to be out there playing. He absolutely loved that Michelle enjoyed doing this kind of stuff as well.  
  
After baseball they found a hot dog stand. They were both starving. Tony went to pay, but Michelle made him put his wallet away, "hey, I told you I am taking you to lunch!!" Together they sat under a tree and tucked into their lunch. Tony finished his in about 4 bites so Michelle ran over and got him another one. She also got him a couple donuts. "Yum, thanks babe....how good are these hot dogs!?!?"  
  
"Sooo good. I'm half thinking I could eat another one!"  
  
"Go Michelle."  
  
When they had polished off all of their food they decided to take a walk around the lake. Holding hands they strolled along telling each other about favourite memories from their childhoods. Once they had walked the lake twice Michelle turned to Tony, "You ready for me to kick your ass in a little hoops?"  
  
"Oh, I think I am ready....bring it on!"  
  
At the basketball courts they decided to play a game called 'around the world'. Basically they had to stand in certain points around the key and take free throws. You could only move to the next point once you had gotten it in. This was easy for Michelle to play without it bothering her rib. They placed little bets with each other and both of them tried to cheat on many occasions. They laughed so hard. Neither one of them could remember a time when they had laughed like this before.  
  
Once they had completely worn themselves out, they decided to get an ice cream and eat it sitting on the grass. Michelle checked her watch, it was getting late. "Tony, we need to get going in a minute so we have time to get ready for the dinner tonight."  
  
Tony stood up and reached his hand out for Michelle to take and then he pulled her up. "Yeah, let's go cause I need time to have a shower now too."  
  
Tony had bought some clothes in the car to wear that night and so they could just go to Michelle's before the dinner. This was the first time he was going to see Michelle's apartment.  
  
Michelle led Tony through her front door, "so this is my place, excuse my mess." Together they wondered around while Tony checked everything out. Michelle's place was a lot like his, "we so have simular tastes babe." "I know" said Michelle, "I totally thought the same thing when I first saw your place."  
  
When they reached the bedroom Tony took Michelle in his arms, "Shower with me Chelle....it will save time."  
  
"Well, if it's going to save time, then I think that is the sensible thing to do!"  
  
Michelle unbuttoned his top and he watched her the whole time. She then took of his belt and took his pants down. Tony then removed all of Michelle's clothes. As they stepped into the shower they both were very touchy to the other one.  
  
Michelle picked up the shampoo, "can I wash your hair?"  
  
"Sure, can I wash your body?"  
  
"Deal."  
  
As Michelle reached up and rubbed the shampoo through his hair, Tony lathered her whole body in soap careful not to miss any part of her. Michelle started to style Tony's hair with the shampoo suds, she spiked it straight up and started laughing. "Tony, you have to check this out." She turned him around so he could see himself in the mirror above the sink. He had to giggle at himself, "What have you done to me Chelle?" As they were still looking in the mirror Michelle styled it a different way which made them laugh even harder. He spun her around and kissed her on the neck. He pulled her body in close so they were both totally under the water. Their naked bodies were pressed firmly against each other. Tony looked at Michelle in the eyes and smiled, they both very slowly moved their bodies so that they were rubbing and both of them let out sighs and smiled at each other. Although they were both so tempted to take things further, they didn't have time and they didn't want to rush, it was also nice to just share and enjoy the intimate moment with each other for what it was.  
  
"Tony, will you stay at my place tonight? I just can't imagine waking up without you beside me."  
  
Tony was so relieved inside. He had thought about this so much today. "Sweetie, I would love too, I couldn't bear to be apart from you."  
  
"Well while you are in such an agreeable mood....can we have another sleepover tomorrow?"  
  
"Michelle, I'll spend any night with you that you will let me. I have a question for you as well.....I know this might seem fast, and I don't want to be pushy, but my family always has dinner together on Sunday nights....I was hoping you would come with me Chelle so that I can show you off to my family?  
  
"Tony, really?"  
  
"Yeah, you don't have too...I just..."  
  
"I'd love to Tony. I'd absolutely love too."  
  
Tony smiled a huge grin. "Thank you for the day today Michelle. That truly was the most fun afternoon I have had in forever. I just loved it so much - thanks for thinking to do that."  
  
"I'm glad you had fun, I did too......because I was with you."  
  
They kissed and then jumped out of the shower. They raced around getting ready to head out for dinner. 


	9. dinner

_Rated M15 - Sexual references and some bad language._

_Thanks for all the reviews - it's great to get some feedback, please keep them coming, and let me know what you would like to see more or less of. It also just helps to let me know that people are actually reading this - then I know if I should continue or not. Thanks!_

As they drove to Angie's house Tony felt himself becoming a little nervous about meeting Michelle's friends. He knew how close she was with them all and it was really important to him that he fit in.  
  
Michelle looked over at Tony and noticed that he was rubbing the side of his face with his hand, which was always a sure sign he was either nervous or stressed. "Tony sweetie, are you nervous about tonight?"  
  
"Yeah actually, I am. I want to fit in with your friends."  
  
"Trust me babe, you are going to fit in perfectly. I've showed them a picture of you before and the girls all think you're a hottie and the guys are already impressed with you because you are a kick ass special agent....in fact they will probably ask you a pile of questions. They always bomb-bard me with questions – so it can be your turn."  
  
"Fine with me. They really thought I was a hottie? When did you show them a picture? I bet they will have a million questions for us tonight after everything that's been said in the news the last few days!"  
  
"That's right, I didn't even think of that yet. I showed the girls a picture of you from the Xmas party a little while ago – I had to get their opinion!"  
  
"Well I am glad they approved!"  
  
They pulled into Angie's house and walked up to the front door. Before they even pressed the bell the door flung open and Jenny and Angie threw their arms out to hug Michelle. "MICHELLE"  
  
"HEY DUDES!!" The three of them hugged. "Angie, Jenny I want you to meet my boyfriend, Tony Almeida."  
  
Tony extended his arm to shake their hands, "It's really nice to meet you both, thanks for inviting me."  
  
Angie let out a little laugh, "It's great to meet you too Tony, but no handshakes – give us a hug!" With that she gave him a huge hug, and then another one followed from Jenny. Tony blushed a little, but had a huge smile on his face. The four of them walked down to the lounge room to join everyone else. Michelle took Tony by the hand and led him around the room, introducing him to everyone. When they hit Steve and Daniel they ended up dragging Tony into their conversation and got him started into the beer. Once Michelle thought Tony felt comfortable, she left his side and went and joined the girls in the kitchen to help them serve up.  
  
"Ok girls, what do you think?"  
  
They all nodded enthusiastically and Sarah piped up with, "we were just discussing him – he is gorgeous Chelle, and he seems really nice. You go girlfriend!"  
  
It didn't take long for the guys to start asking Tony about what kind of training he had, if he carried a gun and what was the scariest situation they had been in. Tony kept them all completely enthralled in stories from his academy days until it was time for everyone to sit down to eat.  
  
Matt talked across the table to Tony and Michelle, "Ok guys, I think I speak for everyone here when I ask you to explain a couple things to us. First things first, what the hell happened with the bomb – We know you can only tell us some stuff but you guys were involved with that somehow right?"  
  
Michelle was the first to start, "Yeah, that's right – we actually had a really full-on time with it all. As I am sure you heard on the news, that bomb was intended to go off in LA, and our office spent basically the whole day trying to find out who had it, then we had to find it, then figure out what to do with it, then we had to work out who was behind the whole thing. Thing was though, there were people who were trying to hinder our investigation and so they planted a bomb at CTU."  
  
Everyone gasped, and then all at once started asking what happened next. Tony took over, "The bomb actually went off. We lost a lot of really good people." Michelle lowered her head, Tony put his arm around her and pulled her in a little closer to him. All of their friends looked horrified. One of them spoke up, "We are so sorry, we didn't realise you had been through something like that – you don't have to continue." Michelle looked at Tony, he was rubbing the side of his face so she took over, "it's alright, and it just still feels really raw to us. This happened right at the start of the day and so those of us that could continue working had to make do with what we could in the mess. It was probably the most physically and emotionally exhausting day we have ever been through. We can't really say much more than that, but Tony did take over as the director of CTU."  
  
Joe, Angie's boyfriend was the first to speak, "Congratulations Tony." "Yeah, Congratulations" everyone chimed in.  
  
Then Matt continued, "Lets talk about something really happy.....the question we all really want to know – how did you guys finally get together? Exactly what happened?"  
  
Angie piped in with, "Yes we want to know everything, don't leave out any details!!"  
  
Tony turned to Michelle and asked, "Can I tell this one Chelle?" "Sure Tony." Michelle smiled and sat back, excited to hear how Tony explained it all.  
  
"Well, firstly I should point out that I have had a thing for Michelle since the day she started at CTU. Over the last year or so, she has become the person I trust and rely on the most at the office. Which in our job is like the most important thing you can have. We had totally been flirting with each other forever. After the bomb hit us, things really started to sink in."  
  
Michelle cut in, "Our boss, whom we ended up losing, took me aside and encourage me to find something I love and embrace it. His words were so powerful."  
  
Tony continued, "I was sitting on Michelle's desk talking to her about some work stuff when she mentioned to me that if I wanted to go out sometime. It was so cute, but sad at the same time because Michelle said to me 'I know it's not the right time, I just don't know how much time we have.' Which was like the biggest wake up call I could have ever had. We agreed if we got through the day we would go on a date."  
  
Steve called out... "There is incentive for ya to get through the day Tony!!" Everyone laughed.  
  
"You are right Matt, it was totally incentive. Although then I couldn't get Michelle off my mind for one second. Here we are in the middle of a National crisis and all I can think about is this date! Lots of stuff happened through-out the day and emotions were all over the place. Our friendship was even tested, but thank god it proved to be stronger than anything that was thrown at us."  
  
Michelle patted Tony on the shoulder, "Can I tell this part?" "Sure"  
  
"Ok, so it got to like some ungodly hour of the morning and I was totally starting to freak out. All this shit just kept happening and it all became too much for me. I tried to escape around a corner because I knew I was going to cry. Tony followed me though and asked what I was doing. At first I tried to be cool, but then I totally broke down. At first I was so embarrassed to cry in front of him, but he was so comforting that I became so glad I did. He put his arms around me, pulled me in close and held me tight. When we pulled out, our bodies stayed close, our faces just inches apart from each other. Tony had his hand on the side of my face and was stroking my cheek with his thumb. I was looking into his eyes, and I just had to have him. He was so sexy, and it was totally one of those moments...you know!? So I grabbed his face and started kissing him!"  
  
Angie and Jenny both said at the same time, "Go sick Chelle!" Then Joe said, "Nice Chelle, you totally hit on Tony!! Tony you must be special, in all the years I have known Chelle, she would never ever have hit on a guy!!"  
  
Tony let out a small giggle, then picked up Michelle's hand and kissed the back of it, "My turn to tell the next part..." "Alright, you can tell this bit"  
  
"So Chelle is totally kissing me and I was just in shock thinking to myself 'Oh my God, Oh my God!! Then she broke the kiss and was like 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' all I could think was 'don't be sorry'. I didn't want the kiss to end so started kissing her back."  
  
Michelle broke in with, "Oh my God girls, it was so passionate and perfect until this bitch Carrie interrupted us!!"  
  
"Yeah, we were totally in this amazing moment together and this Carrie girl who was a pain in the ass all day called for me. I mean it was like a whole years worth of flirting and feelings on top of all the emotions from the day thrown into this kiss and then she had to go and cut the moment short on us!! So anyways we had to go back to work then. We still had hours to go and some of the hardest times ahead of us. Some serious shit went down, and Michelle and I were facing a lot of trouble together. I wanted to keep Michelle out of it, but she refused saying she wouldn't let me basically cop it on my own. I know that doesn't really make much sense, because I can't really go into details, but let's just say in a matter of minutes Chelle showed me that she was the most amazing, loyal person I have ever met.  
  
Anyways we got through to the end of the day, when all the rest of the staff got to go home. Finally we got a few minutes alone together and I stole another kiss from Chelle." Tony stopped talking, he wasn't sure if Michelle wanted anyone to know what had happened with James or for the rest of the night. He looked at Michelle who was biting her lower lip, he knew from this she was nervous and it didn't look like she knew what to say next so he continued...  
  
"By that time it was really late. I was really shaken up by the day and I knew Michelle was too and so I asked her to come back and spend the night at my place so we could keep each other company. So there you have it..."  
  
Michelle squeezed Tony's leg under the table and shot him a smile, she was relieved he had just skipped over the rest of the crap that had happened that night. She knew she would talk to some of the girls about it, but not to the guys and not in front of the whole group.  
  
Everyone then started firing them both individual questions about the day and what they had been up to for the last few days since the bomb. Eventually the topic changed on to other things and they all sat around talking into the early hours of the morning. Everyone had a fantastic night and laughed lots. It was a great way for Michelle and Tony to finish off their day.  
  
It was just after 2 in the morning when Michelle and Tony finally left Angie's house. Tony fell asleep in the car on the way home. Michelle kissed him on the cheek to wake him and said his name softly. He woke and smiled when he saw Michelle looking straight back at him. Tony was very drunk after many beers with the boys all night. They made their way inside Michelle's apartment, she had to help him the entire way because he kept swaying from side to side. Once inside they headed straight to the bedroom.  
  
Tony was really cute when he was drunk Michelle decided. He slurred his words a little but became a lot more confident with what he said. He was totally saying things he wouldn't normally say – but he had the cheekiest smile on his face when he did. He stood still in the middle of the bedroom swaying, "Chelle, I had fun tonight, did you have fun? I really did have fun." Michelle giggled as he repeated himself, "Yes Tony, I had a lot of fun – here let me help you get into bed."  
  
"Yes, I am going to need help getting naked Michelle, will you help me with that?"  
  
"What do you need to get naked for Tony, don't you sleep in your boxers?"  
  
"Tonight I am going to have to sleep naked and so are you Chelle. I mean what if I want to play in the middle of the night? Clothes totally just get in the way Michelle!"  
  
Michelle had to laugh out loud, he was so adorable. He still had a very cheeky grin on his face as he tried to totally just ge undo the buttons on his shirt. He couldn't even get the first one undone. Michelle walked over to him and started unbuttoning his shirt for him.  
  
"So, Tony, exactly what do you mean by play? In your state I can't imagine you being up for much."  
  
Tony was staring at Michelle as she took his shirt of his shoulders. He took in a deep breath as she threw his top to the ground. He reached around and put his hands on Michelle's bottom and squeezed it. Then he ran his hands up and down her back. "Chelle you are very hot. Why aren't you naked yet?" He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted.  
  
Michelle took the rest of Tony's clothes off. Then she started to remove all of hers. Tony just stood there with his mouth open staring. He almost fell over. Michelle grabbed him by the arm and helped him to the bed, he crawled in and laid on his back. He put his arms out for Michelle to come to him. She slid up next to him and he turned to her with a smile, "Michelle, do you remember when we were in the car at the park today and you told me that naughty thing you wanted to do with me?" "Yes Tony, I remember."  
  
"Well, I was just thinking....it would be totally fine with me if you know...you wanted to live out that fantasy that you were having!"  
  
Michelle laughed. She was very turned on by him at the moment, they way he was talking was just adorable. She had never seen him like this before. All she could think about was making him feel good.  
  
"That's so nice of you to offer me that Tony, but you know it would involve a lot of me making you feel very good.....can you handle that?"  
  
"It will be tough Michelle, but luckily I am a special agent and I'll be able to cope!!"  
  
Michelle sat up and took both of Tony's hands and pinned them up above his head. She then slid her other hand under the covers and began to caress him. He moved his hips as she rubbed him and spoke to her, "My Chelle, that feels so good. Chelle I am so turned on....don't stop!"  
  
Michelle leaned into Tony's ear, "I'm not going to stop sweetie. I am going to stop holding your hands above your head though because I need my hand back – no matter what, you can't move your hands...ok?"  
  
"I like this....are you taking control of me Michelle? I'll do whatever you say..."  
  
"Good boy.....you know I adore you right Tony?"  
  
"Michelle, I adore you. Everything about you is just so beautiful. I love you so much..."  
  
Michelle began to kiss Tony all over the chest. She used her tongue and each kiss became more and more passionate. She ran her hands up and down his bare legs. Tony was slowly moving his whole body in time with her running her hands along him. It drove him crazy that he wasn't allowed to touch her, but it felt so good to be at her mercy. When she slid down and put him into her mouth he let out a loud groan.  
  
Once Tony had climaxed, Michelle slid up his body kissing his stomach and chest the whole way up. He was still trying to catch his breath, his body was still moving and his eyes were closed. He really had done what he was told, his hands were still in the same position above his head. She had to smile, "Sweetie, you can put your hands down now." He opened his eyes and put his arms around her bare back. "Your amazing Chelle, thank you so much for making me feel so good. You are the best girlfriend in the world!!" He was struggling to keep his eyes open. Michelle slid beside him and began to stroke his hair, "Just drift off to sleep sweetheart, I love you and I am so lucky to have you." His eyes were closed, but a small smile spread across his face. Michelle stroked his hair until she knew he had fallen asleep, and then she put her head on his chest and fell asleep herself.


	10. what we have all been waiting for

Tony woke with a shocking headache and his mouth was all dry. He looked over at Michelle who had the covers up under her chin, lying on her back still sound asleep. He had to get a painkiller for his headache so he slid out of bed. That's when he noticed that he was completely naked! Shocked he got back under the covers to think for a minute. He slid his hand across the bed to feel whether or not Michelle had anything on....she didn't either – he couldn't believe it, they were both naked. Tony became stressed that he and Michelle had slept together and he couldn't remember it. He could remember Michelle taking off his shirt but that was about it. He went to the bathroom and got some water and a tablet then head back to bed. He laid there staring at the ceiling trying to put the pieces of last night back together. He started remembering little flashes - Michelle pinning his arms above his head, her kissing his chest and stomach, and he could remember trying to stumble into the house but needing a lot help. He started to feel really guilty, obviously Michelle wasn't drunk because she had driven them home. Had he acted like an idiot? What had he said?  
  
Michelle was starting to stir so he slid across the bed to her, wrapped his arms around her bare stomach and started to nuzzle into her neck. She let out a small sigh and turned onto her back more so that she was facing him.  
  
"Good morning Tony, and how are you feeling this morning?" She stroked his hair and gave him a little wink.  
  
'Umm I've got a headache but I'll be right. Still trying to put the pieces of last night together actually. I was a little surprised to see we had both slept naked!"  
  
Michelle had to laugh. "You really don't remember babe?....you told me to sleep naked."  
  
"What!?!? I told you too....and you totally just did what I said? I can't believe I said that to you.....I'm sorry Michelle."  
  
"What on earth are you sorry for? You are so adorable drunk sweetie."  
  
"Michelle, did we ummm....you know....did we...."  
  
Michelle could tell Tony was completely stressed out. "Have sex?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"No sweetie, we didn't. Is that what you look so worried about? – because you couldn't remember?"  
  
"I've just been lying here trying to put the pieces together. I am starting to remember some stuff. I'm sorry I drank too much, I hope I didn't act like an idiot. Can you tell me what happened?"  
  
Michelle pushed Tony onto his back and lay on her side, supporting herself with one arm and stroking his chest with the other.  
  
"Ok Tony, I'll give you the low down so that you can see just how cute you really were last night. I helped you inside and up to the bedroom because you were having a little trouble. You kept telling me how much fun you had had. I told you I would help you into bed. You were slurring your words a little and you were just standing in the middle of the floor slightly swaying. You told me that, yes – you would need my help getting naked!!"  
  
Tony laughed and closed his eyes as a sign of embarrassment. Michelle gave him a quick kiss, "no wait honey, it gets better than that! I asked you what you needed to get naked for because you usually sleep in your boxers. You then proceeded to tell me that tonight you were going to have to sleep naked and so was I. Clothes just got into the way, and what if you wanted to play?"  
  
Tony lifted his head of the pillow, he had a big grin on his face, "Oh my god! I can't believe I said that. I obviously get a little more confident after a couple drinks."  
  
"Yea, it was very sexy Tony. You had the cheekiest looking grin on your face, it was adorable. You could have said anything at that point and I was putty in your hands!!"  
  
Tony looked all proud of himself, "Really.....sexy huh?"  
  
"Yes very sexy, anyways you were trying to take your top off but you couldn't even undo the buttons so I came over to you and undid them for you and then took your top off. You were not much help as you were too busy feeling my bum!"  
  
Tony nodded his head and smiled, "Nice....how smooth am I!"  
  
"Oh, very smooth! So stripped you naked and then took all of my own clothes off. And you mister....were a huge perve!!"  
  
Tony laughed and lifted the covers to display her naked body, "Well, how I could not be a perve when I have this beautiful body to gawk at?" He ran his hands firmly up her body and then held out her arm which he kissed all over. "This is a good story...continue!!"  
  
"Ok, so we were in bed and you turned to me and asked if I remembered that fantasy I had told you about in the car at the park. I told yes, I could remember and then you told me that it was totally fine with you if I wanted to live out that fantasy!!"  
  
Both Tony and Michelle laughed out loud really loud. As he was laughing, it all totally hit him – he could remember everything that happened. "Michelle, Michelle it all just came back to me. You saying that triggered my memory. I certainly remember how this story ended." He winked at her.  
  
"I'm glad you remembered because last night certainly wasn't a night I'll forget anytime soon!"  
  
Tony pulled Michelle up so she was lying on top of him. Their bare bodies pressed up against one another. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, "you are so good to me Chelle. Last night felt amazing....I especially like how you took control and pinned my arms above my head, such a turn on – in fact everything about you turns me on. I've gotta tell you too, I am really liking this whole waking up next to you naked thing!"  
  
"You're a sweetie, but trust me Tony I love doing that to you just as much as you love me doing that to you....know what I mean? Sometimes when I see you, I just have to have you. I am just loving getting to wake up next to you, it will seem so lonely when I have to wake up by myself in my own apartment."  
  
"Don't worry about that baby, we can stay with each other every night if you want."  
  
"Yea you say that now, but just wait - it won't be long till you get sick of me."  
  
"As if! What would make you think that Michelle?"  
  
"I don't know, it was just a joke – don't worry."  
  
Tony tucked one of her dark curls behind her ear, "Hey, you might try and pretend like you were joking but I can tell that some of you was being serious. Talk to me Chelle."  
  
Michelle closed her eyes and lowered her head so it was resting just below his neck. "I just know that all of this is too good to last. It's like I am just waiting for you to realise you don't really like me or want a relationship or something."  
  
Tony lifted Michelle's head and then cupped her face with his hand. "Chelle what we have is so real between us, can't you feel that? What, are you changing your mind about me?"  
  
"No, no, of course not. I am just trying to protect myself, I don't want to get hurt."  
  
"Chelle, I will never ever hurt you. You don't need to protect yourself from me. I've spent an entire year wanting to be with you – then I almost lost you, so many things could have come between us but we didn't let them. I know all to well from work, just like you, that when you find something that works or you love that you've gotta embrace it. I know how much I love you, my feelings run so deep it makes everything so clear and simple in my mind – I just want to be with you all the time."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really Michelle. I don't ever want to lose you. I don't want you to feel scared with me honey." Tony put his arms around her and hugged her tightly, "What can I do to prove to you that you can trust me with your heart Chelle?  
  
Michelle looked into Tony's eyes and she could see the love. She had a very warm settling feeling in her stomach that she could trust Tony with her heart. He was so different to any guy she had ever met before. Besides it was too late anyways, she had already fallen in love with him. She gave him a tender kiss on the cheek, "I do trust you Tony, I do – sorry I just had a little freak out." "That's ok babe, we are all entitled to freaking out sometimes."  
  
Tony kept his arms around Michelle but lifted his own body up and slowly flipped them over so that Michelle was now the one on her back and he had half of his body on her and the other half on the bed. He stroked her hair and looked deep into her eyes.  
  
Michelle had been impressed with Tony's fluid bed roll. As he was looking at her a little smile spread across his face. She had to ask, "What are you thinking Handsome?"  
  
Tony leaned in and softly kissed Michelle on the lips, then he kissed the side of her neck. He put his mouth right next to her ear and spoke sweetly, "I was thinking how much I want to make love to you Michelle." He pulled his head back to see the reaction on her face. She had a very shy smile, "Ohhh Tony..."  
  
He put his hand on the side of her face, "Chelle, do you want..."  
  
He didn't need to finish his sentence though because Michelle started nodding her head at him, then she put her hand behind his head pulling him in closer so that they could kiss. They both had butterflies in their stomachs and were really nervous. Michelle pulled his bottom lip down and pushed her tongue into his mouth. He ran his hands up and down her bare body, making her groan and hold him even tighter. She pulled out of the kiss so she could passionately kiss his neck and shoulders. Tony tilted his head back so she could reach him easily and watched her. She felt him become hard against her leg, so she ever so slightly moved her leg up and down against him which made him groan.  
  
He kissed her on the lips with his tongue and then slid down her body. He kissed all over her stomach while he caressed her chest. She sighed his name, "Tony....Tony." After a couple of minutes he pulled his body back and spoke into her ear again, "Ahh Michelle, I need you. Oh my God, I want you so much." He nuzzled back into her neck and pressed his body firm against hers. She pulled his head back and looked into his eyes, "Tony...Now!"  
  
He lifted his body up a little and moved so that his whole body was on top of her. He pushed himself inside her. They both groaned loudly at the same time. For the first time Tony and Michelle made love. It was better then either one of them could have imagined, and they never wanted this close intimate moment they were sharing to end.  
  
When they had finished Tony stayed on top of her and looked into her eyes, every few seconds or so he would lean in and kiss her. She wiped a couple beads of sweet from his forehead and ran her other hand up his back. They just held each other.  
  
Tony noticed that Michelle's eyes were becoming a little watery. "Michelle, what's wrong? Did I hurt you? Sweetie, please don't cry." He wiped away a tear with his thumb.  
  
"Tony, I'm not sad. These are happy tears. I am so happy. I feel so close to you. That was just so, so special."  
  
Tony sighed in relief, "You, sweetheart - were amazing. Words can't even explain how happy I feel right now. You are the most special person in the world to me. I love you."  
  
"I love you."  
  
Tony began moving his hips again. He looked at her seductively and then raised his eyebrows as if asking her 'do you want to?' She began moving her hips in time with his to let him know she wanted too. They kissed passionately and then made love again. Afterwards they kept kissing for a few more minutes. It was like they just couldn't keep their hands of each other.  
  
Michelle asked Tony, "how is your headache?"  
  
"No more headache, you took care of that!"  
  
Tony lifted himself off Michelle and lay on his back. He put his arms out to her, "Come lie in my arms Chelle." She moved her body across and snuggled up next to him. He wrapped her up tightly in his arms and kissed the side of her head, "let's just stay like this all day!"  
  



	11. missing each other

Rated PG – sexual references.  
  
They spent the rest of the day wrapped up in each others arms talking. They shared stories from their college days and training for CTU. They also swapped whatever office gossip they both had. Just after 4pm Jack called to invite Tony out for a boy's night that night. Tony looked at Michelle who was sitting next to him, "Thanks for the invite Jack, but I am going to spend the night with Michelle." When Michelle heard him say this she told Tony to put Jack on hold for a minute. "What did he ask you to do?"  
  
"He wants me to go out for a boy's night tonight, but I told him I am spending it with you."  
  
"Tony you should go, you will have fun!"  
  
"But I like spending my time with you. If I went what would you do?"  
  
"I love my time with you too honey but I want to see you still enjoy time with your friends. I have been hogging you for days now. I'd probably just meet up with a couple of my girlfriends."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes babe – go for it!!"  
  
Tony put the phone back up to his ear and told Jack that he would join him. They were going to meet about 8pm for something to eat and then head out to a couple bars. When he hung up the phone he pulled Michelle in close for a kiss, "You know I'd much rather be with you....Jack doesn't kiss nearly as good as you!!" They both laughed. Michelle pulled back from Tony, "That's so gross, now I totally have an image of you guys!!" Tony laughed and then kissed Michelle's shoulder.  
  
"Chelle, you gotta call your friends and see who is free – it's getting late and if they are already busy, then I am staying with you – I don't want you alone."  
  
"Yes sir, I'll go make some calls now. Did I just hear you say you wanted to make me a snack?" She gave him a flirty smile and battered her eyelids.  
  
"Yes, you heard right......when you look at me like that I am putty in your hands! I'll take care of that while you're on the phone."  
  
Tony headed into the kitchen whilst Michelle made some calls. When she was done she joined Tony in the kitchen. He handed her a plate of food, "So babe, did you make plans?"  
  
"Yum, thanks for the food sweetie! Yup, a few of us are going over to Emily's to make dinner together and then either watch a movie or have girly chats. It's just us girls tonight."  
  
Tony pulled Michelle in close and put his hands around her waist. "This might sound so stupid to you Chelle, but it makes me kinda sad that I won't be with you tonight."  
  
"I know...it's our first night apart, I feel like I already miss you. I'll see you tomorrow though right?"  
  
"Hell yes, I'm going to take you out for breakfast. Plus we have dinner at my parents tomorrow night....that's if you still want to come with me?"  
  
"Of course I want to come, I'm excited but also a little nervous!"  
  
"They are going to love you sweetie." Tony hugged Michelle and they stayed there in each others arms for a few minutes. Michelle pulled back, "Tony, you need to get ready and I had better go home so that I can get ready for tonight as well. Walk me to the door?" Michelle took his hand and started to lead him towards the front door.  
  
"Chelle, have a really good time tonight. I am sure you girls will get into lots of mischief!!"  
  
Michelle put her hands on Tony's chest, "W certainly will get into mischief – that's what we are good at. I think though, that it's me that should be more worried about you and Jack out on the town together!!"  
  
Tony kissed Michelle on the forehead, "I'll be a good boy, I promise. I'll call you in the morning to work out a time to meet up?"  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
Tony and Michelle shared one more passionate kiss before parting ways. Michelle raced home and Tony jumped into the shower. As they were getting ready both of them could do nothing but think of the magical morning they had had together.  
  
Tony was heading home, it was just after midnight. He had had a great night out with the boys. They'd had some dinner at the pub and then spent the rest of the night playing pool, and drinking. He felt a little more than tipsy. He had left his car in the parking garage and called for a taxi - Most of the guys had ended up having to do the same thing. They had all spent a good chunk of the last hour discussing Michelle. Tony was extremely open and told them how deeply he had fallen for her. They had lots of questions for him too. As he stared out of the taxi's back window he thought only of Michelle. He wondered what she was doing now. Was she thinking of him?  
  
When they got to his place he payed the driver and headed inside and up the stairs to his apartment. Once inside all he could think was how dark and quiet the place was. The only sound he could hear was the hum of his refrigerator. He sighed, this was exactly what he was worried about – he knew when he got home tonight without Michelle he would feel like crap. They had had such an emotional week and had been with each other for every second if it. With Michelle by his side she had shielded him from falling apart after last week. She had made him talk to her and explain how he was feeling - that always made him feel better. Usually he had to keep all his thoughts to himself because no one was interested in hearing them. It was like she could tell when he needed a hug and then she would hold him so tight making him feel so wanted. When she sensed he was feeling a little serious she would crack a joke or pull a face to make him laugh. How did she know how to be exactly what he needed? She was perfect. He grabbed a beer and slouched into the couch. He knew because he was drunk that he was being overly sensitive and emotional. He wished she was here with him now so he could put his arms around her, kiss her, make love to her and keep her close to him all night. He finished his beer and grabbed another. He sat on the couch feeling more and more lonely as he had one beer after the other.  
  
Michelle was sitting on Emily's lounge room floor laughing hysterically with the girls. They had been sitting around chatting for hours now – they have covered just about every single topic. It had been a great night, although she had spent a good portion of it day dreaming about Tony. She was so caught up in him at the moment it was hard to think about anything else right now. She had drunk a lot and was really feeling the alcohol. Fortunately Angie was dropping her home. They were going to leave in a minute but she didn't really want to – she wasn't interested in going back to her quiet apartment where she would feel so lonely. Her phone started to ring, she looked at her watch – it was 1:15am, who would be calling her now? She hoped it wasn't CTU.  
  
"Michelle Dessler."  
  
"Hi Michelle Dessler, its Tony Almeida."  
  
Michelle's stomach did a flip. She could tell straight away he was drunk, he had slurred both of their names, although she was sure she wouldn't do much better. She was ecstatic he had called her.  
  
"Tony baby, how are you?"  
  
"Sorry to call you so late Chelle, I'm really sorry." He sounded upset which Michelle started to worry.  
  
"Don't be sorry, I'm smiling just hearing your voice. Are you ok Tony?"  
  
"Yeah, nah.....I'm fine. I shouldn't have disturbed you when you're with your friends. I'll let you go."  
  
"Tony don't hang up, don't hang up! You haven't disturbed anything. Tell me what's going on."  
  
"I just hate this place at the moment. It's so quiet and boring!"  
  
"Where are you Tony? Are you at a pub or something? How much have you had to drink sweetie?"  
  
"No, I am at my apartment. Look I know I am drunk Chelle but that doesn't mean what I am feeling isn't real." "Of course it doesn't babe. I am drunk too! Everything you feel is real....tell me what your feeling now Tony."  
  
"I am feeling like, like....like I miss you Chelle. Like I wish you were in my arms right now. I know it's just one night and you must think I am so stupid, but you are all I can think about. I've never felt this way about anyone in my entire life Chelle, I just want to be with you. I know the alcohol is making me more emotional, it's just it's been such an unbelievable week and I guess I wasn't totally ready to have to miss you yet."  
  
A tear ran down Michelle's cheek. God he was beautiful, he made her feel so wanted and needed. "Tony I love you. I need to see you. Can I come over?"  
  
"I don't want to wreck your night, you are suppose to be hanging with the girls."  
  
"No we were all just about to leave anyway. Ang was just going to drop me home but it's actually closer for her to drop me at your place anyways."  
  
"Then yes, please come over. I can't wait to see you, I have the biggest kiss for you!"  
  
"I'm going to need more than kiss Tony. I want you....all of you. I just hope you can handle me."  
  
"Handle you? Is my Chelle feeling frisky? Just hearing you say that totally turned me on. HURRY UP!"  
  
"I'll be there in 15."  
  
Michelle hung up with biggest smile on her face. She was so excited, all night she had been dreading going home by herself. After the week they had had together she almost felt dependant on Tony at the moment. He just seemed to know how to make her feel better all the time and she felt so safe with him. Plus it was hard to talk about any of this stuff with her friends because they just didn't understand. She could only tell them the smallest of details from work and so she didn't have any one to share her feelings with. Now with Tony he knew exactly what she was going through and he understood all her emotions. Not only did she want him but she felt like she needed him too at the moment.  
  
Angie drove Michelle to Tony's place. While Tony was waiting for her he freshened up and finished his beer. Michelle knocked on Tony's door and he opened it in just a few seconds. They both just stood there for a minute staring at each other. The relief to see the other one was evident in both of their eyes. Eventually Michelle lunged into Tony's arms putting one hand on his chest and the other on the back of his neck. Tony tightly wrapped his arms around her waist and then leaned down and passionately kissed her shoulder. Michelle tilted her head a little and sighed loudly. They still hadn't spoken a word yet. Michelle cupped his face and pulled him to her. She stuck her tongue into his mouth and they kissed. This was a different type of kiss from anything they had done before. It was fuelled with passion and lust. The alcohol made them forget about being tender, gentle and sweet with each other. Animal instinct kicked in and it was all about – I have to have you now, kinda thing. Their tongues wrestled and their hands wondered all over each others bodies. Tony lent down a little and placed his hands on the back of her legs just above her knee. He then ran his hands up the back of her legs, up underneath her skirt. This made shivers run all through Michelle's body. Tony felt her whole body quiver and he knew she was getting excited so squeezed the top of her thighs and ran his hands across her back side. Michelle felt her knees buckle a little making her body lean into his for support. She could feel how turned on he was so she started to rub her body up and down his. His hands gripped her even more tightly and then he broke free of the kiss and began kissing her cheek and ear, then all the way down her neck. He pulled her top down a little so he could kiss the top of her chest. All of a sudden they both lost their balance and fell, pulling each other to the ground. The both started laughing and Tony helped Michelle up.  
  
"I was so busy mauling you Chelle that I forgot to say hello."  
  
"I wasn't any better than you babe. It's so good to be back here with you Tony." Michelle slurred most of her words.  
  
"How cute – you really are drunk! I hope I didn't spoil your time with your friends. I was just sitting here knocking back the beers wanting you more and more. You just make me feel so good and I feel so happy when I am with you."  
  
"I am so glad you called Tony. I spent all night dreading going home by myself. You are all I can think about Tony and want to be around you as much as I can. At first I was thinking – 'Man Chelle surely you can get through one night without the guy. You don't have to be around each other every second.' But now I am like 'who cares!' what does it matter if we want to be with each other as much as we can. We have been so good for each other and there is not one reason I can think of for why we can't be together as much as we want."  
  
Tony pulled Michelle in close. He took her hand and placed it on his chest, "I agree babe, you are my princess and I should be allowed to see you whenever I want." He took her other hand and pulled it up to the back of his neck – he loved it when she held him like this. "Now let's go and get a drink and sit with it on the balcony. Then I am taking you to bed where I will prove just how well I can handle you."  
  
Michelle loved it when he was like this. The way he put her hands where he wanted them and then told her what they were going to do. "I think it is so sexy when you are direct with me about what you want."  
  
"Really? Why do you like that? Sometimes I don't even realise I am like that."  
  
"I guess I just like it when my man takes charge. That you know what you want and you go for it."  
  
Tony pulled Michelle's body closer to his and put his face just inches from hers, their mouths so close to touching, "When your man takes charge huh? I do like the sound of that. Tell me Chelle....do these feelings you have apply to us in all situations?"  
  
"Like what other situations? I think all the time babe." "Well, you know – say in the bedroom?"  
  
A smile spread across Michelle's face, "Sure in the bedroom, why what have you got in mind?"  
  
Tony pushed his pelvis into Michelle, then he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and teased her with his mouth. He just lightly brushed over her skin with his lips, then he put his hand behind her head and held it whilst he spoke into her ear. "I have plenty of things in mind that I want to do with you. I like the idea of taking charge of you like that – if we didn't have this conversation then I would never be like that because I didn't think you would like this kind of thing."  
  
"Hun you should do or be whatever you want – I'd tell you if I didn't like it. I am yours Tony and anything that makes you happy makes me happy."  
  
Tony kissed her cheek and then held her hand and led her into the kitchen. Tony opened a bottle of wine while Michelle got them some glasses. They headed out to balcony and got settled next to each other. As they worked their way through their glass of wine they told each other about their nights. And then indulged in a little random conversation. Tony put his hand on Michelle's leg – they both looked at each other and smiled. Michelle watched as his hand slowly made its way under her skirt and up her leg. He squeezed the top of her thigh which made her groan – louder than she expected and she got a little surprised. Tony then put his hand on her stomach and started rubbing it. He moved his body so he was facing her, he undid the buttons of her shirt, "ahh Chelle you are so beautiful, I have to have you."  
  
Michelle groaned again and bit her lower lip. He reached around her back and undid the clips of her bra and then removed it. As he caressed her he also kissed her chest. Michelle ran her hands all through his hair.  
  
"Chelle lets go inside, it will get too cold out here." He put his arm around her as they went inside and headed straight for the bedroom.  
  
I will continue this night in the next chapter... leg - they in a little random conversation. Tony put his hand on Michelle' 


	12. passion and tears

Michelle stood and watched Tony as he cleared some things of his bed. She was a little chilly standing there in just her skirt, it was also hard for her to stand still as she was really feeling the affects of drinking all night.  
  
Tony looked over at his Michelle. He had to giggle a little watching her stand there topless swaying from side to side, she looked like she was day dreaming. He walked over to her and noticed she had goose bumps so he used his hands to rub up and down her arms to make her warmer. After a minute he turned her around so her back was facing him and then he pulled her body in close to his. His front covered her entire back and his arms covered hers. Then he leaned his head down next to hers, "Chelle baby why don't we take a hot shower together?" Michelle really liked the sound of that, "That sounds perfect Tony." Tony kissed her on the cheek and then took her by the hand and led her into the bathroom.  
  
After Tony had turned the water on, Michelle helped him take his top off. Then he watched her as she undid his belt then the button and zip. Tony put his hand on Michelle's bare shoulder. She pulled his pants and boxers off and then took a step back and removed her skirt. They held hands and got in under the water.  
  
They stood with their arms wrapped around each other and their bodies pulled in close with the warm water covering them both. They looked at each other and smiled. "This is nice Tony." Tony kissed her on the forehead, "It really is, I could hold you forever."  
  
Without saying a word Tony gently moved Michelle so that her back was pushed up against the wall. She gave him a very seductive smile, "What are you up too?" Tony didn't answer her, instead he gave her a wink and put one hand on her back side and the other just above her hip on the waist. He leaned in and gave her a very passionate but quick kiss on the mouth, teasing her – but just to give her an idea of what was to come. He looked her in the eyes, "Michelle, follow my lead...ok?" She gave him a shy nod, completely unsure of what to expect.  
  
Tony tightened his grip on Michelle and then lifted her body up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and leant her back on the wall to take off some of the pressure from Tony. His body was tilted forward into hers. Michelle put her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. She was very excited by the way he was acting, she decided not to ask any questions and just wait for his next move.  
  
Tony watched Michelle's face, he could tell by the way she looked back at him that she was turned on. He was taking charge of the situation and he knew that Michelle loved the idea of him taking the control. He wanted to be with her so much, she was beautiful and he wanted to be as close as possible to her. He took his eyes of her for a second and put himself inside her. She groaned. He returned to watching Michelle's face and they stayed still for a minute while they both looked adoringly into each others eyes. Then Tony began to make love to Michelle. At first it was slow and gentle while they continued to focus on each other. Michelle couldn't take it anymore, she had to kiss him – so she put her lips on his and pushed her tongue into his mouth. They both groaned. Soon the passion and lust they had experienced earlier on when she arrived at his house returned. Their bodies moved at an increasing pace and for a little while they tried to keep up with their kissing but couldn't so they pulled back and then both started kissing each others face and necks – where ever they could reach. Things became more and more heated and intense and the pace started to go even faster, Michelle used both of her hands to grab at Tony's chest and rub his back and hair. Tony didn't have any free hands and so he used his mouth to kiss anywhere on her body that he could reach. The both almost had to remind themselves to breathe.  
  
As they both climaxed, Tony pushed her body firmly against the wall and Michelle wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in as close to her as possible. They took a couple minutes to catch their breath and then Tony gently lowered Michelle to the ground.  
  
They both almost didn't really know what to do now. They had never let loose like that with each other and things had just gotten so intense and animalistic which was very different to all of their intimate encounters so far that had been very sweet, gentle and loving. This time though it was like after the night they had had, they just had to have each other right there and then. They both had very much gotten caught up in the moment and had been aggressive in making sure the other one was turned on and that they felt so good. On one hand they both had loved what had just happened between them, but on the other hand they worried what the other one must be thinking.  
  
The water started to turn cold and so Tony switched the tap off and they both hopped out of the shower. Tony opened up a towel and wrapped it around Michelle – the both smiled shyly at each other. Tony put his head down and started to dry himself, Michelle knew that one of them needed to break the ice, she decided it would be her. "Are you ok Tony?" Tony answered her but kept looking down at the ground, "Sure, are you?" Michelle felt completely unconvinced by his response which made her feel sick in the stomach. Tony must regret what just happened she thought. Or maybe it just wasn't as good for him as he wanted it to be. She knew she had to answer him, but she also had to get out of the bathroom. "I'm fine." With that she left the bathroom to try and find what other clothes she had here to sleep in.  
  
Tony lifted his head enough to watch Michelle leave the room. He knew he had basically brushed Michelle off, but he was just so angry with himself he didn't know what to do. He was angry because he thought that he had rushed and pushed things to far. He had felt absolutely amazing, he was blown away by how good a lover Michelle was but he worried that maybe she wasn't ready for something that full-on so soon into their relationship. Tony always had this feeling where he wanted to be closer to Michelle, this feeling had been magnified tonight by alcohol and he had completely gone for it. Each time he had pushed into Michelle they would both sigh and groan, making him want to go faster and kiss her passionately as much as he could. What if Michelle didn't want that to happen but had just gone along with it for his sake? Had he hurt her? Had he been to full-on and pushy for her? The more he thought about it all, the worse he felt. Things had been so unbelievably perfect between them so far, he'd never forgive himself if he had just ruined that. He had just been standing there thinking for ages so he pulled some boxers and a t-shirt on and went to find Michelle who wasn't in his bedroom anymore.  
  
Michelle was in the living room cleaning things up – mainly putting all of Tony's beer cans in the rubbish. Tony stood and watched Michelle for a second, not knowing what to say. "Michelle, don't worry about that mess, I made it and I'll take care of it." He knew it sounded lame, but he had gotten his stomach so tied up in knots by this point that his mind felt completely blank.  
  
"I don't mind, really Tony." She kept putting the cans in the bag. Tony walked over and started helping. He couldn't stand this tension between them – it had never felt so uncomfortable before. He put his hand on Michelle's arm to get her attention and then locked eyes with her. "Chelle......"  
  
Michelle cut in, "I am so sorry, I am so sorry Tony." She pulled her arm down and turned so she could walk out of the room. Tears were welling in her eyes and she knew if she said one more word she would burst into tears.  
  
Tony was utterly shocked. Why the hell was she apolagising? He didn't understand at all. He could tell how upset she was. "Michelle...." She stopped walking and turned to face him. "Chelle, why are you saying your sorry? I don't understand – it should be me saying that."  
  
As soon as she opened her mouth to reply the tears started flowing. "You don't need to say anything Tony, I know how you feel from the way you acted. Of course I am sorry, you have no idea how much." Michelle felt so embarrassed to have Tony looking at her like that – all she could think was how much she let him down. How disappointed he must be in her, how she obviously wasn't as good in the shower as he expected her to be. She bet that Tony had always found Nina amazing in bed, that he never would have had trouble looking at her afterwards.  
  
"Yeah Michelle, I acted like a jerk to you, which is why it's me who needs to do the apolagising. I know you were not ready for that – I don't know what to say, I just feel so sick." Tony's voice had become very raised.  
  
Michelle talked just as loudly as Tony and struggled as she wiped back the tears. "I thought I was ready, either way that's not an excuse for disappointing you...."  
  
Tony yelled over top of her, at the same time taking a couple steps closer to her. "WHAT?? What do you mean disappoint me? You don't need to have any excuses Chelle..." He just didn't understand where she was coming from.  
  
"Fine then – no excuses, you think I am pathetic in bed – I get that ok!! I am sure Nina never made you feel sick."  
  
Tony couldn't believe it....how could she possibly think that he thought she was bad in bed? Then he realised that it must be because he didn't speak to her after they had finished and then when she tried to talk to him he had just brushed her off. She was so far off what he really thought. He also didn't want Michelle thinking she had to compare herself to Nina – Chelle was miles ahead of her, in every way possible.  
  
Michelle had turned her back towards Tony so that she was facing the wall. She only had a pair of his boxers on and a t-shirt. He could see she was freezing, she had goose bumps all over her body. He walked straight up behind her, he went to put his arms around her, but then stopped. He was sure he was the last person she wanted to be holding her right now. He couldn't bare to just leave her like that though.  
  
"Chelle, you have everything wrong – please let me explain. First though, I am going to put my arms around you now to keep you warm.....is that ok?"  
  
He saw that she slightly nodded her head. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her body in close to his. A tear dropped from her face and landed on his arm, he felt so so guilty that she was feeling like this.  
  
"Chelle all of this has nothing to do with anything that you think. You have to believe me. I thought that was the hottest, most amazing, sexy and satisfying experience. Couldn't you see that I just couldn't get enough of you? You Chelle, are my dream woman – everything about you brings a smile to my face. I didn't think it was possible to feel as turned on as I do with you. Let me just add, this morning when we made love for the first time – that was the best and most special sexual experience I have ever had. Just before in the shower – that ran a very close 2nd. I have wanted to be with you for so long now, so when I was inside you this moring I couldn't believe that it was better than I ever had imagined. Then in the shower, it was perfect in so many different ways. Do you know what I am getting at Chelle?"  
  
"Do you really mean all that Tony? All I could think was that I had been a major let down to you, you know.....after all this build up, that I just hadn't made you feel as good as you wanted."  
  
"I could never think any of those things about you Chelle. You are so much more than I deserve. I can't stop thinking to myself just how unbelievably lucky I am to finally have you by my side. And don't you dare ever compare yourself to Nina like that again....you are miles ahead of her, so much better she is not even worth mentioning ever again! You have to promise me Chelle that you won't think like that again."  
  
"I promise Tony. All those things you just said.....they were so beautiful. I feel exactly the same way about you Tony. I don't understand then though why you couldn't even look at me in the bathroom – you barely said anything."  
  
"Ok, here goes....we were both so unusually quiet afterwards in the shower. I guess it was just a lot to take in. But you just seemed to look so upset then you left the bathroom so quickly, like you didn't want to be near me. I understand now it was cause I brushed you off but I didn't realise that at the time, I was to busy fuming at myself. I thought the reason you were upset must have been because I pushed you too far. Or I hurt you, or that I had been to full-on and you didn't really want it all to happen like that. That is why I felt so sick Chelle – I could never forgive myself if I made you feel any of those things...."  
  
Michelle didn't let him finish, "No way Tony, it was nothing like that. I mean, Oh My God Tony that was so hot. I was so turned on when you took charge – you know I love that about you – you were so calm and confident and you knew exactly what you wanted from me. Just even saying this right now sends shivers up my spine. I never wanted it to end. It felt like we both just totally lost our inhabitions and replaced them with confidence.....we completely let loose. We were full-on, but in the most perfect way, it's like you said – I can't get enough of you. Give me a little alcohol and then place you naked in front of me – of course I am going to go crazy, I couldn't help myself no matter what."  
  
Tony let out a small moan, so excited to have Michelle saying all that about him. He nibbled on her ear for a minute. She raised both of her arms up his chest and behind his head to rub his hair and neck. He ran both of his hands firmly up and down the top half of her body. After a little while, Tony turned Michelle around so that he could look into her eyes. He wiped under her eyes with his thumbs and then kissed her cheeks.  
  
"You know what I think Chelle?.....I think we both just freaked out! I mean we are drunk and have been overly sensitive and emotional all night. The shower was what we both wanted so bad, that afterwards its like we got scared the other one wasn't going to feel the same way."  
  
"I agree hun. As couples we are better than I could have ever imagined – I think I am almost waiting for something to go wrong."  
  
"Nothing will Chelle, we won't let it. We are a team and we will always make this work. I could never let you go now Chelle."  
  
"Tony.....I have found my soul mate in you."  
  
A tear ran down Tony's cheek, he couldn't have been more touched. She kissed the tear and then tenderly kissed him on the mouth. He cupped her face with his hands and she ran her hands through his hair.  
  
"From the bottom of my heart Chelle, I know you are my soul mate." 


	13. more drama and tears

Rated M15 - Sexual References  
  
They stood hugging for a long time, their grips were very tight. Eventually Tony pulled his head back but still stayed in close to her body. "It's been a very weird day today hasn't it? I feel like I have experienced just about every emotion possible today."  
  
"Couldn't agree with you more Mr. Almeida! It has completely worn me out!"  
  
"Well sweetheart, let me take you to bed so you can get some sleep." Tony picked Michelle up and carried her in his arms into the bedroom. He gently lowered her onto the bed and then crawled up next to her. They both got under the blankets and snuggled in close to each other. Michelle lay on her back and Tony was on his side facing Michelle. He gently ran his hands back and forth across her stomach.  
  
"Michelle....I feel like I took so much away from you today – things I'll remember forever and things that have really showed me exactly who you are."  
  
"Really? Like what."  
  
"Well I can tell you that I never thought it would be possible to spend an entire day wrapped up in someone's arms, sitting on a bed talking. But with you today – it was perfect. It went too fast!! I would have been happy to spend hours more like that with you. I just love being so close to you, listening to you talk and learning more about you. I'll never forget how excited and proud I was to tell the guys all about you. I'll definitely never forget just how much I missed you when I got home. I have never felt so lonely ever. That feeling of just wanting you to be here with me was so powerful....that's why I just had to call you. Most people would have treated me like I was just too drunk and an idiot – but not you. By opening up yourself, you gave me more confidence. It made me feel so special that you came back here to be with me tonight Chelle - thank you. The shower....what can I say? It blew me away – you are the most amazing lover a guy could only dream of. But honey, it was after we got out and I thought I had been to full-on for you that I just felt so horrible. Just thinking that I might have hurt you made me feel so sick. I have never felt like that before – it was scary. It's so important to me that you trust me and feel safe in my arms....nothing would make me feel worse than if I ruined that for you. When you turned your back to me Chelle in the living room when we were yelling – I looked at you standing there so tensed up with only boxers and a t-shirt on. You had goose bumps all over you. I knew you were crying, and you had just told me that you thought I was disappointed with you. I realised then just how deeply I am in love with you. I had to hold you, I just couldn't bare seeing you like that – you seemed so lonely and hurt. All that mattered to me was making you feel better about yourself. It shatters me Chelle when I see how much confidence you lack in yourself...."  
  
"It's not so much about confidence Tony. I was so distraught because I didn't want to lose you. All I care about is making you happy. I just want to be what you want Tony. I want you to know how much I love you and how you are the most special person in my life. When you were yelling, it was tearing me apart to see how angry I had made you...."  
  
Tony put his hand on her cheek and cut her off, "That's exactly what I am talking about Chelle. I don't want you to worry about me. You are exactly what I want Michelle.....you always have been. I wish your confidence would let you see what I see – make you see just how perfect you are. You are never going to lose me Chelle...I'm not going anywhere – unless of course you wanted things to end between us, but I can guarantee that that would only happen from you, not me. I was yelling sweetie because I was so stressed that you were thinking all that. You didn't make me angry. Don't you understand how much I love you Michelle? It's like you don't believe me."  
  
Tears began welling up in Michelle's eyes again. Tony had really hit the nail on the head with what he said. Michelle had never thought she was good enough for anyone. Her confidence was so low, it always had been. It was almost like she was waiting for Tony to meet someone else he liked more – she couldn't understand why he wanted her. She opened her mouth to answer Tony and tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I guess so Tony. I understand that you are the nicest guy around. Don't you understand that there are so many beautiful girls out there that would love to be with you Tony, and they could offer you so much more than I can? I would totally understand if you wanted out."  
  
Tony wiped away the tears on her cheeks, he could feel them welling in his eyes. It was so sad to hear Michelle say that – there had to be a reason why she felt that way about herself. He looked Michelle directly in the eyes. "Please be honest with me Chelle, has anyone ever told you that you weren't good enough? Has someone put you down?"  
  
Michelle looked away from his gaze, "Yeah, my Dad. He told me how pathetic I was. That I didn't deserve to be happy. That I'd never find someone that would love me. My parents divorced when I was 10 and I haven't seen him since, but I can remember it all so clearly. He hated me so much, and he told me all the time why....so I understood. Why should anyone else feel any different?"  
  
Michelle freaked out that she had just opened up and told Tony how she felt about herself. She didn't know what to say or do, so she sat up in the bed and tried to get out. "No Michelle, its ok doesn't leave.....its ok." Tony grabbed her around the waist and pulled her body into his – they were both now sitting up. Tony kept a firm hold on Michelle he even wrapped one of his legs over hers so that she had no chance of leaving. He tried to talk through the tears that were flowing down his cheeks, "Don't run away from this Chelle, it will always catch up with you....."  
  
"I don't care if it catches up with me Tony – I just can't believe I told you all that."  
  
"I'm glad you told me, now I understand better why you feel this way. I asked you Chelle because I had already guessed that something along those lines had happened to you. I promise you Michelle, I am going to show you just how incredibly wrong your Dad was. I am going to help you see what I see when I look at you."  
  
"Why would you bother? I don't understand. It's seriously not a big deal Tony – I have learnt how to not let my confidence affect my work or anything. I mean you are the first one that's ever even really noticed this about me."  
  
"It is a big deal Chelle. You are right, it doesn't affect your work, in the slightest – you kick ass there, you are so assertive and confident which is fantastic. But is affecting you in other ways. What about us? Maybe I am the first to notice Michelle because you haven't let anyone get this close to you......maybe you do really want to believe and accept how I feel about you, but you are scared. Does that make sense? Chelle, do you feel safe with me? Do you completely trust me?"  
  
Tony wanted to be able to see Michelle's face so he leant their bodies back a little and then keeping her in his grip he put her on the bed lying on her back. He then lay next to her and put one arm across her body and also put his thigh on her legs.  
  
"I do feel safe with you. I've never felt this safe with anyone. I trust you. You are right Tony, this is the closest I have ever let anyone get to me, but I just don't know how to accept how you feel about me. I mean most people could only dream of having what we do with each other. I am scared....scared that I'll let you down or something."  
  
"Ohh Michelle, I feel all of those things too. Sweetie I have never been even close to letting someone in as much as I have with you. When I look at you Michelle, I wonder how someone so beautiful and amazing could want to be with me. I consider myself to be the luckiest guy on the planet. I want this to work so much. I too get scared I'll let you down, like right now....it scares me that I might not say the right thing and you won't believe me. But the difference between us Michelle is that I want this to work so much that I am willing to accept the way you feel about me, and you don't know how good that makes me feel. I have completely bared everything to you Michelle, because as I do and I see you stand by my side I realise that you love me for me and you love all parts of me, I don't need to be scared to show you anything. That baby – is the best feeling in the world....nothing beats that."  
  
"Tony....I want this to work between us more than I have ever wanted anything before. I'll do anything to prove that to you. I am willing to try or do anything to completely trust and accept the way you feel about me. I do feel a lot of it though Tony – I mean it's not just the things you say, it's how you treat me – you make me feel so special and loved. I guess I am just not use to it because I've never had it before. When you put your arms around me and pull me in close to you – that is the best feeling I've ever had."  
  
"Ok, I think we will get you there Michelle. It might not happen immediately but the longer we have with each other and the closer we get will show you just how wrong your Dad was to make you feel that way. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You said you would do anything to prove to me how much you want this relationship to work.....well all I want from you honey is to keep giving this all a go. When you feel down about yourself or sad I want you to promise you will come and talk to me. Keep letting me in Michelle so we can just keep getting closer and closer. Let me love you how I want to. Will you do all that for me? For us?"  
  
"Yes, I'll do anything to make this keep working. You do make me feel better about myself. I am just so lucky to have you Tony."  
  
"Well you do have me. I am all yours. Are you mine Chelle?" "Yes, I sure am. I want to be yours Tony."  
  
Michelle gave Tony a little smile. She felt better. For the first time, Michelle really felt like she was worth something...that she was very important – and it felt great, so great.  
  
Tony was starting to feel a little better about the situation. He knew that together he and Michelle would lick this thing. If possible he felt he loved her even more now that she had opened up to him. When he was a mess at CTU Chelle had gotten him through it. At the start he didn't even want her to see him crying because he didn't know what she would think of him. For that time in there Tony felt like the lowest person in the world. He truly thought he hated himself. But then Michelle comes in and sees him like that. But she didn't laugh at him or walk away, instead she tried to come and wrap me up in her arms. Tony had pulled away and turned his back to her so ashamed. Michelle wasn't going to let him feel like that though. She stood on some books to be tall enough put her arms around his neck and spoke lovingly into his ear. She told him how special he was to her and even just hearing that made him feel better as a person. Surely if someone like Michelle could think those things about him then he couldn't be that bad. She stayed holding him for as long as it took her to reason with him about all of his negative feelings from the day – she wasn't going anywhere until she knew he truly believed he was a good person who should be proud of his actions. None of his ex girlfriends would have had a bar of him as soon as they saw him cry and there is no way any of them would have spent that long listening to him and reassuring him he was a good person. If Michelle hadn't been around he was sure he would have slumped into a depression after all that. She had been perfect for him, exactly what he needed. Now seeing her as vulnerable as he had been, all he could think was that at any cost he was going to be the one that got her through this.  
  
The sound of Michelle's voice snapped Tony out of day dreaming. "Tony.......what do you, like what.......wh..." She couldn't even finish the sentence. Tony had to giggle a little. "Chelle, just relax. Sounds like a pretty scary thing you are trying to tell me....should I be worried?" He traced around her face with one of his fingers. She took a deep breath and started again.  
  
"Tony, what do you think it is about us that makes us fit together as a couple so well? I mean it's only been the shortest amount of time we have been seeing each other yet we are closer then most people would ever be to their partners. We don't even like leaving each others side."  
  
Tony leant down and rubbed noses with her and they both gave each other a sweet smile. "I think it's because we are meant to be together Chelle. We have the same morals and values. Ultimately we want the same thing in life and have the same plan to get there. I just know Michelle that I have fallen for you in a way I never thought possible. I never imagined that I could feel this good. You make me a better person just by being with you. Over the last year at work we have been through some pretty huge things together and often we were paired up to get things done. In extreme circumstances then a strong bond can form, which it did with us. I know I trust you with my life. Then the day with the bomb and James.....I mean where do you even start with that? I do know though that especially after our first kiss, we were in the middle of a National crisis and I was totally day dreaming about you! In the last few days we have been through so much, and I think maybe we realise we couldn't have gotten through it without the other one...."  
  
"That's so true Tony. That first night when I was so scared to fall asleep, lying with you made it so much easier. Then in the middle of the night when I cried in the kitchen – you just held me in your arms and assured me that you were there with me. That meant so much. For the first time in a very long time I didn't feel like I was alone. Usually I'd be so embarrassed that I had bawled like that on our first night together but you made me feel so much like it was ok that I wasn't embarrassed at all – which I am so thankful for. You settled me and I fell asleep in your chest feeling comforted. I know I could have never got through any of that with out you."  
  
"Same with me sweetie at CTU. I mean you saw how freaked out I was to even just have you see me cry – I was yelling at you, but you just stayed. I still can't believe how miserable I felt before you came in to the change I felt once you had comforted me. You helped me put the whole day into perspective. You made me feel like I was so loved – you even made me feel a little bit proud of myself. That's you Chelle, that's your kind words and your touch! I was so nervous about you seeing me so weak and vulnerable because I wanted to be the strong one for you, but now I am glad it happened because I feel better for it."  
  
"There certainly have been lots of tears between the two of us this week hasn't there?!?!" Michelle commented while having a bit of a giggle.  
  
Tony began tracing her face again with his fingers, he had a big smile on his face, "there sure has – it's like we are trying to set a record or something!"  
  
Tony ran his finger over her lips and Michelle totally surprised him by opening her mouth and closing it over his finger. She sucked on his finger and played with it with her tongue. She looked at Tony very seductively. Tony couldn't take his eyes of Michelle's mouth, he was so turned on. He put another finger on her lip to show her he wanted her to put that in her mouth too. Michelle had the two fingers in her mouth and she sucked them as hard as she could, as she did this she felt Tony become hard against her side. He let out a sigh. Michelle watched his face and all she could think was just how adorable he was. His eyes were very wide open, almost glowing and they were completely concentrating on her mouth. His lips were wet because he had licked them and they looked shiny, and his mouth was hanging wide open.  
  
"Tony, can you sit up for a moment so I can take your shirt off?" As he sat up Michelle did too. He held his hands straight up in the air and Michelle pulled the t-shirt up over his head. Before he had a chance to do anything, she put both of her hands on his bare chest and pushed him down so he was lying on his back. Now he was watching her, taking in every move she made. She wasted no time and slid down the bed to pull his shorts and boxers off. She could hear his breathing getting heavier. She ran her hands up and down the inside and top of his thighs, making his whole body twitch a little. Then she kissed and licked all over his stomach and hips. This was just driving him crazy, "Oohh Chelle....now...now Chelle." She lifted her head and looked at him with a cheeky grin, "are you sure.....you want it now?"  
  
He watched her slide down the bed, and then she put all of him in her mouth. He groaned as soon as he felt the warmth or her mouth around him. Michelle started off slow and gentle but gradually picked up the pace. Tony grabbed the blanket in his hands and squeezed. God she made him feel good. It wasn't long before Tony climaxed, he threw his head back on the pillow and tried to catch his breath. Michelle used her hand to continue massaging him, he was still very much turned on!! Tony opened his eyes and stuck out his arm and said, "Chelle, you make me feel so good, come here to me."  
  
But Michelle shook her hand, "No Tony, I'm not done with you yet." With that she removed her own pants and sat on top of Tony, he remained lying down. She could see in his chest he was taking huge breaths. They began to make love. After a bit, Tony sat up a little and reached around Michelle and took her top and bra off. His hands explored her body.  
  
Once both climaxed, Michelle laid on the bed next to Tony. He rolled onto his side and stroked Michelle's hair. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, "Your amazing Chelle, you feel amazing." She smiled at him and raised her head and kissed him on the lips. "Mr Almeida you feel so good. You are so my handsome man!"  
  
They both laughed together. Tony looked at his watch, it was now 7am. They had been up the entire night, "Chelle it's 7am!! Should we get a couple hours of sleep?"  
  
"Yup, only if you snuggle in close to me."  
  
Tony pulled Michelle into his body and then wrapped her up in his arms. He kissed her neck. Within minutes they had both fallen fast asleep. 


	14. dinner

Michelle hadn't opened her eyes yet but she had started to stir. She could feel Tony gently tracing her stomach with his hand and it felt so nice. She groaned and slightly moved her body to let him know she was starting to wake and enjoying what he was doing. His whole hand began moving across her stomach and up and down her side. She groaned again and then she felt her top slide slowly up and he began to kiss her stomach. Michelle loved the feeling of his 2-day stubble rubbing against her bare skin. She didn't open her eyes but put her hand on his head and started running her fingers through his hair. Tony was laying next to Michelle and he ran his hand up and down her legs, his hands held onto her firmer and moved faster the more he watched her body react to his touch. He loved watching her muscles tense and flinch. He lifted the blankets back off her body and then put his hands on each side of her waist, he slid her towards him whilst lifting his own body over hers. He was sitting on his knees between her legs and he had his hands stretched out rubbing up and down her legs and stomach. Michelle opened her eyes to find Tony just watching her.  
  
"Well, this is certainly a good way to wake up." As Michelle spoke she reached out for Tony's chest. He was only dressed in his boxers, she was so in love with his body that as soon as she saw him she just had to touch him.  
  
"My angel...." Tony looked at Michelle with a cheeky smile. He leaned in and very gently kissed her on the lips but then kept moving and kissing her down her chest and stomach. He kissed her thighs and legs.  
  
Tony was making Michelle feel so good. She pushed the back of her head into her pillow as hard as she could. As Tony used his mouth on Michelle he held onto her with one hand on each side of her waist – when she moved too much he would just hold onto her more tightly to keep her still. She said his name repeatedly and her breathing was so heavy. Tony lifted his head and moved up her body. He put himself inside Michelle and began to make passionate love to her.  
  
Afterwards, Tony stay laying on Michelle, he used one elbow to help support himself so that he could stroke the side of her face with his hand. They looked adoringly into each other's eyes. After a couple of minutes Michelle quietly said to Tony, "I love you." Tony's smile covered his face. "I love you my Chelle."  
  
Tony looked over at the bedside clock – it was just after 4pm. "We are going to have to start getting ready soon. Are you sure you don't mind coming to my family dinner tonight?"  
  
"I'm sure I am sure Tony.....why are you so worried that I won't want to come tonight? That's like the 4th time you have asked me the last couple days."  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Have you changed your mind Tony? Do you not want me to come? You know you can tell me if you just want to have the time with your family."  
  
Tony laughed, "As if I would ever change my mind – are you kidding me, do you know how proud I am to show you off to my family?!?! I guess I just worry – you know that I was too full on - too fast asking you to meet my family. I want you too so much, but I don't want you to feel like I am being too full on – know what I mean?"  
  
"Tony, I don't think there is anything you could do or say now that would feel to full on or too fast. All I want is you – there is nothing that scares me about that."  
  
Tony felt relieved. He was so happy to hear that Michelle felt that way. He spent any spare second he had day dreaming about her and their future together – he really hoped she was thinking along those lines too.  
  
He nuzzled into her neck kissing her at a rapid rate, making Michelle giggle. She tried to push him off but he was way to powerful for her, "Where do you think you are going?" Tony kept her pinned with his arms and his lips were so close to her cheeks as he spoke they were almost touching her.  
  
"I was just going to go and start getting ready for dinner......you do understand that I have no idea what to wear right!?!?"  
  
"Sweetheart, you could wear a garbage bag and you would still be the most stunning woman anyone has ever seen."  
  
Michelle smiled shyly. How did he come up with this stuff? It made her feel so good. In fact, after last night she realize that she had woken up feeling a lot better than she had in a long time. Her Dad was something she had never breathed a word about to anyone and it had felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders since she had told Tony. Maybe her Dad was wrong and she really did deserve to be loved. That almost made her hate him even more that he might have had her believe something her whole life that just might not be true. She looked into Tony's eyes, she could feel in her heart just how deeply she had fallen for him.....she wondered how she had ever managed to work around him and not be this close to him.  
  
Tony looked back into Michelle's eyes. She hadn't said anything for a minute, "Chelle, what are you thinking?" He took his weight off her and rolled a little to the side allowing her to get up.  
  
Michelle sat up, "Nothing Tony, shall we shower?" She extended her hand out for him to take, which he did and then she led him into the bathroom.  
  
As Tony drove Michelle to his parents for the dinner she gazed out the window and got lost deep in thought. She wondered what his parents would be like, would they like her, how should she act, what if they didn't like her? She was so nervous. She had never grown up in a family environment, and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to act. After her own father split when she was 10, her mother got even more involved in drugs until eventually she was not even recognizable as her mother anymore. By the time Michelle was 14 she started just disappearing for days on end with different boyfriends and by 17 Michelle just left and got her own place because she couldn't handle it all anymore. She hadn't seen her Mom since.  
  
Tony broke her train of thought by placing his hand on her thigh, "What you thinking about babe?"  
  
"Just nervous, you know....hope they like me and all that."  
  
"Of course they will Chelle, just be yourself – I know they are going to love you." Tony tried to reassure her by tightening his grip on her.  
  
Michelle smiled back at Tony and tried to concentrate on something else. She played with the CD player, flipping through all the songs and then she rummaged through her handbag looking for nothing in particular....finally they arrived.  
  
Tony held Michelle's hand as the walked up the front steps, his Dad opened the door before they even reached the top.  
  
"Hello" He walked straight up to Michelle and extended his hand. As they shook, Tony introduced her to his father Alex. "It is a pleasure to meet you Michelle, welcome to our home."  
  
"Thank you Mr. Almeida – its nice to meet you."  
  
"Please, call me Alex!"  
  
Alex gave his son a hug and then led them both inside where Michelle was then introduced to his Mum Jessica.  
  
Michelle sighed in relief that the introductions were finally over. Tony's brother couldn't make it tonight and so it was just going to be the four of them.  
  
Dinner went off without a hitch and Michelle had a fantastic time. Tony's parents were so kind to her and her feel so welcome. Michelle felt like she really fit in.  
  
Tony looked across the couch at Michelle as they all sat around and had a final glass of wine before they were to head off. He was in heaven....his parents adored Michelle, his Mom had cornered him in the kitchen earlier to tell him so. He knew they would but watching them all together was the best feeling in the world. His Michelle was perfect for him and his parents agreed.  
  
When they went to leave, both of Tony's parents gave Michelle a hug goodbye. Tony could see that although Michelle was a little surprised by this, she also loved it. He put his arm around her as they headed back down the stairs to his car.  
  
After they had pulled out of his parent's street, Tony pulled over and turned to Michelle. He picked up her arm and kissed it the whole way up. "Did you have fun? My parents adore you."  
  
"Really? You think they really liked me? I had such a nice time, you have the most lovely parents Tony – you are so lucky."  
  
Tony knew that as much as Michelle had a good time tonight, it must sting a bit when she thought of her own family. Tony knew parts of her Mum's history as it had come up in background checks of Michelle when she had started at CTU. He pulled Michelle in and gave her a tight hug, "I know I am lucky.....Chelle, I know they loved you because my Mum told me so. I knew they would."  
  
Tony didn't get a spoken response from Michelle, instead in his tight grip he felt her tenderly kiss his neck and ear. He groaned, "mmm Chelle..." Tony kept perfectly still, he could let Michelle do this to him forever. She slowly made her way around his chin and he slowly moved his head in the direction where he wanted her to kiss. Eventually she made her way to his mouth where Tony opened his lips for a passionate kiss straight away. The kissed and held each other in this tight embrace for a long time. It felt far too good to both of them for either of them to break apart. Miichelle's hand made its way to Tony's chest where she clutched on, giving Tony control of the situation. Tony intensified the kiss, drawing Michelle in as close as possible to his body. He broke the kiss and pulled his mouth back so that it was still just inches from hers. She lent in for another kiss, but Tony pulled his head back avoiding it. He smiled at her face now one of confusion then he cupped Michelle's face and held her head so that they were looking deep into each others eyes.  
  
I'm going to leave you at this point guy's.....not too much in this chapter – the next one will be full of juicy stuff I promise!! 


	15. a night of terror

"Do you want me Chelle?"  
  
Michelle leaned in again, bringing her mouth close to Tony's – he still wouldn't let their lips meet. "Yes Tony."  
  
"Chelle, tell me you do."  
  
Tony was watching Michelle's mouth and so she circled her lips with her tongue, making him take an extra breath. "I want you Tony, I have to have you Tony."  
  
Tony couldn't play games any longer after hearing that. He pushed his body into hers and kissed her deeply. His body was forcing her to lean back and let him lie on top of her and so as she did she helped pull him to her.  
  
The gear stick kept getting in the way. Tony had to keep stopping and try and work around it but it just wasn't really happening that well. "Son of a bitch....these stupid gears!" He was so frustrated. Michelle had him so turned on and was ready for him, yet things kept getting in his way.  
  
Watching Tony get angry with the gear stick because he wanted to get closer to her only turned Michelle on even more. They were both breathing heavily, and couldn't take their eyes off each other. Michelle ran her hand very firmly up his thigh and then chest, "Tony....." She stood up a little and then put one knee on the seat so her body was a little higher, she leaned her body back over into Tony's. He cupped her face again kissing her intensly and then ran his hands down her back. Hiis hands then made their way underneath her skirt, making Michelle push in closer to him. Tony leaned his body back pulling her with him, his hands still on her thighs under her skirt. As they fell down into the drivers seat their bodies pushed against the wheel sounding the horn for a long time. This scared the hell out of both of them and Michelle threw herself back into the passengers seat.  
  
After they caught their breath, they looked at each other and laughed. Tony touched her cheek with his thumb, "you know if I had the slightest bit of rstraint around you it would make things a whole lot easier....at this rate will either get arrested or at least put on a nice show for the neighbours!"  
  
Michelle put his thumb in her mouth and sucked it for a moment, "I know but I just can't help myself with you.....why do you have to be so damn sexy?"  
  
Tony soaked in what Michelle had said to him. Hearing her speak like that to him just made his heart race. He threw the car into drive, "Ok, so we need to get home like now!!" He put his foot on the medal and made his way home. All the way Michelle traced her hand up and down his leg, to Tony it felt like the higher or firmer her hand got the harder it was to breath and the further away his house seemed.  
  
Finally they made it inside Tony's apartment. Before the door had even closed behind them they were wrapped in each others arms kissing, completely oblivious to the house in complete disseray because it was in the middle of being burgaled.  
  
Tony had Michelle backed up near the doorway heading up the hall to his bedroom. Their eyes were closed and they were lost in each others arms. A man hiding behind the doorway reached his hand out and grabbed Michelle by the hair, he used his other hand to pull a gun on Tony.  
  
Michelle had no idea what was going on, she was in the middle of kissing Tony when she felt the sharpest pain in her head – her hair was being pulled so hard she thought it would all come out. Her body flung backwards to follow her hair in the hope of easing the pain – then she felt a huge dirty arm wrap around her neck. All of this happened within a couple seconds – Tony was horrified, standing still with a gun pointed at his head. His eyes darted between Michelle and their attacker, never knowing who to focus on. He watched as the man tightened his grip on Michelle. "I swear to God, if you hurt her I will kill you." Tony found himself speaking in a threatening tone that he had never heard before. He was terrified something might happen to Michelle.  
  
The man laughed a little to himself and then turned his head as if looking for someone else, "Did you hear that CJ? This guy will kill me if I hurt the pretty girl, what a hero!" A second man appeared out of the hallway laughing at what the first guy had said. "Les, give me the gun and lets move this into the other room." Les handed CJ the gun and then CJ told Tony to walk to the other room, all the while keeping the gun pointed directly at him. Les kept his arm around Michelle and forced her into the lounge with the others. Once there, CJ turned and punched Tony with full force in the stomach. "Don't bother threatening one of us again. Keep your mouth shut." Tony was hunched over, the wind had been completely knocked out of him. As Tony was punched, Michelle screamed out 'NO' but Les just covered her mouth, tightened his grip on her and whispered into her ear 'Shut-up.' Tears flowed down her face as she looked at Tony in pain – how the hell could this be happening to them? They were trained agents and these guys were a couple of thugs, but the bottom line was that they had the gun and Michelle and Tony didn't and neither one of them was about to jepordise the other one getting hurt by trying to pull some stupid stunt.  
  
Les pushed Michelle up against the wall so he back was flat against it and she was facing Tony, Les and CJ. He pulled a knife from his belt strap and waved it around in her face. The disgusting man then ran the knife so it was touching her skin but not cutting down over her chest and stomach. He had a sick and twisted look on his facE,  
  
Tony couldn't handle seeing this, he seriously thought he was going to have a heart attack or just pass out. Seeing Michelle being threatened like that was more than he was ready to handle. "Please don't hurt her. Do what you like to me, take what you want just please please leave her alone."  
  
CJ sighed and walked back over to Tony. "You just don't get it do you? I thought I told you to keep your mouth shut? Seeing as my punch to the stomach didn't teach you the lesson, perhaps you will be more willing to learn when it's you girlfriend we punish." CJ started heading towards Michelle, Tony was shaking his head violently. CJ kept the gun focused on him then he said to Les, "Go ahead." Just like that Les punched Michelle in the face. His hand hit her eye and cheek and a ring on his finger cut her near her eyebrow and she began bleeding. Michelle was crying and trying to struggle. Tony watched absolutely heartbroken. Tears gushed out of his eyes and down his cheeks. He had promised Michelle he would protect her....yet at this point he couldn't think of a smart move on these guys without risking everything. Michelle looked at Tony and he mouthed 'I love you' to her. Les was far too strong for her, and she felt a little dizzy from the blow. He turned back to Tony, "next time I won't be so nice....I'll pick between my gun or my knife."  
  
CJ sat on the stool and kept the gun on Tony, never taking his eyes from him. "Ok, here is the deal, you have a nice place here, you obviously have some cash. Now if you had come home a little later we could have gotten all this over with but now that you have gotten in our way, we need to make it worth our while. Hand me your wallet."  
  
Tony reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and handed it to CJ. When CJ diverted his attention to rummaging through the wallet, Tony hit 1 and call on his cell through his pants and then just left it there. That was a speed dial to Jacks mobile. Tony knew he had a much better chance of Jack helping them then the police trying to figure out what the call was about. There was about $150 in Tony's wallet and CJ seemed to be impressed. "And what about you princess? What have you got?" Les motioned to Michelle's bag which had been dropped near the front door. As CJ walked to retrieve it he pointed the gun at Michelle who was in a better firing range. He said to Tony, "If you even think about moving or messing with us, I shoot your pretty little girlfriend.....clear?"  
  
Tony had no choice, he had to do as instructed. He would never put her life on the line to play hero.  
  
Jack answered the call coming in from Tony. At first he wondered why Tony was calling him so late on Sunday night, he knew Tony wasn't back at work yet so it couldn't be that. As he answered he heard the words 'shoot your pretty little girlfriend....clear' and then there was silence. He could hear footsteps and Tony's sniffles although at that point he couldn't make out what the noise meant. He grew concerned and kept listening....  
  
Les took a couple steps back from Michelle telling her not to move. Then he spoke to both of them. "You really make a cute couple." He looked at Tony, "are you in love with her?" Tony said yes as well as nodding his head. He turned back to Michelle, "isn't that sweet, he loves you – do you love him?" Michelle responded the same way as Tony had. CJ walked back over, "there was only 20 measly bucks in her wallet. What the hell good is 20 bucks going to do me?" Les asked them if there was anymore cash in the house and they both shook their heads. "This is not making me very happy.....infact you have both disappointed me. One of you is going to have to pay for that dissapointment." As he spoke he waved the knife in Michelle's face and then went over and did the same to Tony. "I am going to leave it in your hands over which one of you will pay for my dissapointment. You can have a minute to discuss this, but, (he directed his focus to Michelle) seeing as we have heard so much already from your boyfriend, I say it's your turn. I'm going to leave the final decision in your hands." With that he and CJ both went and stood in the doorway of the next room. CJ was quick to remind them both that they were watching and if either of them tried anything he would have no hesitation using the gun.  
  
Jack heard every word and within seconds was out the door and on the way to Tony's – he hoped that's where they were. He called a couple of his friends who lived close by and asked for their help. He had a group of 4 of them meeting ASAP out the front of Tony's apartment block on the street level before you had to go upstairs. He'd be there in less than a couple minutes.  
  
Both Michelle and Tony took a few steps towards each other. Michelle just wanted to collapse in his arms, "Who are they Tony? Why are they doing this to us?"  
  
"I have no idea sweetheart, are you in much pain?"  
  
"I am just so scared Tony...."  
  
"Chelle, I called Jack and hopefully he heard some of what is going on. He might be on his way to help us. I know your scared honey but you have to stay strong – we are going to get through this....ok?"  
  
"ok"  
  
Tony spoke with authority in his voice. "Now Chelle, I don't care what happens, no matter what – you just make sure you pick me for the one he is going to hurt."  
  
"I can't do that Tony. How could you expect me to do that?"  
  
"God damn it Michelle, listen to me. I am telling you what to do."  
  
"Put yourself in my position – would you be able too Tony? I'll be ok, trust me."  
  
Tony was so angry. The look in his eyes scared Michelle. "I'm not interested in swapping positions Michelle, don't cross me on this one...."  
  
"Tony your scaring me....this isn't my fault, don't be angry at me."  
  
"I'm sorry if I am scaring you Michelle, but I will be angry if you don't choose me. Just let me try and protect you somewhat from this."  
  
"What about me protecting you? I couldn't handle watching them hurt you Tony, I'm sorry I just can't do it."  
  
Tony was furious. Not at Michelle, just at the situation. He couldn't handle seeing them hurt her again. He wished she would just listen to him. He was desperate to try anything. "Michelle, if you let them touch you – then it's over between us. Do you hear me??? If you don't chose me, then I can't have anything to do with you again." Tony knew it was the most horrible thing he could have said at that point, but he hoped by giving her such a big ultermation she would chose their relationship. Surely she wouldn't give up on their relationship. Of course there was no way Tony would ever leave Michelle, at this point in time though he wanted her to think that though so she would just pick him.  
  
Michelle looked at Tony in disbelief......she was just so shocked he could say something like that. His words made her feel so frightened and alone. She could see they were about to come back so she spoke softly to Tony through her tears.  
  
"You are seriously going to end things with me if I don't do what you say?"  
  
"Chelle is it worth ruining our relationship over this? Just have them take it out on me."  
  
"I guess it is over then Tony. Just leave me alone..."  
  
"Michelle....." Tony put his hand out for her but she stepped back.  
  
"No Tony. I'd rather not be your girlfriend then watch you get beat up if I have a choice."  
  
Tony was hurting so much. His idea to make her choose had completely backfired on him making everything so much worse – now Michelle thought she was in this on her own. He felt so ill. He was so desperate, more desperate than he had ever been in his life. He was so scared he was going to lose Michelle in every way. He begged again, "Chelle, please I am begging you, just chose me. I can't handle this, I can't handle watching them touch you. It's not fair, after all this time I finally have you and now I am suppose to just stand back and let them jepordize that? Michelle, please choose me, you just have too.....I love you too much for any of this."  
  
Michelle's heart broke watching Tony. But why didn't he realize that everything he was feeling she would feel too if they had let him choose? Was he really going to be so pissed at her if she didn't listen to him that he was going to break it off with her? She knew he was just trying anything to make her pick him, but there was nothing in the world that could be said or done that would make her willingly point the finger at Tony to be hurt – nothing. Even if Tony hated her for the rest of her life for the decision she was just about to make it would be worth it – she would rather know he was safe before anything else. Tony was pleading with his eyes.  
  
"Tony, I....."  
  
Les and CJ by this point had decided that they had given them long enough. He walked straight to Michelle, "Have you decided between the two of you?"  
  
Michelle took a deep breath, "Yes but you promise you won't lay a finger on the other one, right?"  
  
"I'll do what I want princess, now who is it going to be?"  
  
Michelle looked at Tony who was pointing to himself and nodding his head. But there was just no way in this world Michelle could ever tell these guys to hurt Tony – How could she ever live with herself if she chose herself over Tony. "ME" She put her head down as to not have to see the look on Tony's face.  
  
Tony's heart sank.....he had being hanging onto some shred of hope that she would do what he wanted. He looked at this woman who had just put her own life on the line to make sure he was ok. In hindsight he knew he was so lucky....Michelle was such a special person but how was he suppose to face her after tonight? He had promised her he would protect and look after her - he hadn't done that.  
  
Les walked over to Michelle and ran his hand over her lips and cheek. "You really are my type of girl." He ran his hand from her face down her chest to her waist where he started to stroke it.  
  
Tony was going to kill this guy if he thought he was going to try and have his way with Michelle. He watched her face and saw how terrified she was, she was bloody and pale and her eyes were a window into the horror she was feeling. As Les stroked her waist, Tony noticed how Michelle couldn't even look at him – her eyes were focused on the roof. Tony's entire body tensed up and his fists became so clenched it would be impossible to pry them apart.  
  
CJ looked to be getting bored. "Hurry up, I just want to get out of here."  
  
Les gave CJ a death stare, but at the same time checked his watch and he seemed to agree they had been there long enough. He took half a step back and studied Michelle before clenching his fist and ramming it into her stomach. She dropped to the ground and curled herself into a ball.  
  
Tony couldn't sit there and watch this. The pain of watching Michelle being attacked like that was far too much to bare. He rose to his feet and lundged at CJ who was holding the gun. CJ, a mere thug panicked and fumbled with the gun. Tony kicked his arms with full force so that CJ dropped the gun and it went sliding across the floor.  
  
Les kicked Michelle a couple of times, one at her neck and head and the other on her lower back out of sheer anger watching CJ and Tony. He wondered what he should do - he couldn't get past them too leave, and if he went and got involved in the fight it might end up him that got hurt. He looked at Michelle who was now unconscious from the blows, he knealt down beside her and rolled her onto her back and slapped her face a couple times to make her wake up. He watched Tony and CJ throw punches at each other as they both kept trying to scramble to the other doorway where the gun was. CJ was looking a lot worse for wear than Tony was and Les knew he had do something before Tony got a hold of him. He spat at Michelle, "Stand-up."  
  
"I don't think I can....I can't."  
  
Les grabbed her by her arms and yanked her up, forcing her to stand. She was swaying all over the place. He tightened his grip on her and demanded she keep standing straight.  
  
Tony wrestling on the ground with CJ. He was only half concentrating because half of his attention was focused on what was happening with Michelle. He saw Les forcing Michelle to stand up when she could barely even keep her eyes open. He threw his elbow into CJ's face making him drop to the ground yelping. Tony crawled over him and punched him again. Jack with one of his friends right behind him, came flying through the door and headed straight for Tony and CJ.  
  
"Jack, I am fine here – Michelle, help Miichelle."  
  
Les stood behind Michelle and held the knife up to her neck and face. Jack stopped in his tracks and held his hands up to show him that he wasn't holding any weapon. He tried to reason with him, "Calm down, I am not going to hurt you – I just want to make sure no one gets hurt here."  
  
Tony now had complete control of CJ and had him pinned by his arms. He called for Jacks friend to first call the police and then come hold CJ so he could go over to Jack and Michelle. Once free of CJ, Tony walked over beside Jack. "It's over, just let her go and we will make sure neither one of you gets hurt." Tony had absolutely no patients left for this guy.  
  
Les was panic stricken, "All I want to do is get out of here. If you come near me, I'll use this knife on her."  
  
Michelle felt so weak but knew she just had to get through this and she would be ok. She looked at Tony and when they had eye contact she lowered her eyes to the ground to tell him that she would duck to the ground. Tony nodded that he understood. He felt all of his body tense ready to pounce on him the second Michelle dropped to the ground.  
  
Michelle could see the knife out the side of her eye. Les was holding it up to the side of her neck with his right hand. She could smell the sweat pouring from his body and hear him breathing heavily. She lifted her left arm in the air to divert his attention for a moment and then she pulled her right arm in and forced it behind her as to elbow him in the neck, in the same motion she dropped her body to the ground. Before she had even hit the ground Tony's body flew over her at Les. It had all happened so quickly that Les had no idea what was going on. Both Jack and Tony wrestled him to the ground, they stepped on his wrist forcing him to drop the knife and then as Jack held him Tony punched him unconscious. Although he felt like just standing there punching him over and over, Tony knew there was no need and his training would be used against him if he continued to injure this guy when it wasn't necessary.  
  
Another of Jacks friends came flying through the door. Jack called him and asked him to help keep Les down. Tony was finally free and able to go to Michelle.  
  
Michelle lay on the ground, face into the floor trying to put her thoughts into order. Her body felt like it was crawling with his (Les) hands. Her muscles kept moving as if he still had a grip on her. He had been so rough that she felt bruised everywhere he had touched her. His body odour still consumed her making her want to gag. When she tried to remove the images from her head of Les and CJ all that came to mind was Tony and the anger he had in his eyes for her before. The words that he would break up with her swam in her head and with every passing second her love grew for him with the realization of how close she had been to losing him but also anger brewed he had been so angry with her that she may have lost him anyway.  
  
She sensed a body was approaching close to her and she felt her heart rate again rise and her body tense up. A hand touched her shoulder and she immediately jumped up to get away from the touch – she couldn't handle anyone being that close to her right now.  
  
Tony had sat next to Michelle and then put his hand on her shoulder. He didn't know the extent of her injuries so he was a gentle as possible but still Michelle had flown into the air and scurried into a crouched position against the wall. He tried to slide his body closer to her but she held her arm up and spoke with a weak voice, "No one come near me, don't touch me....don't touch me."  
  
"Chelle it's ok, it's me Tony. You are safe now and everything is going to be ok." He again started to slide near her but again, "Stay there, I am ok don't worry I am ok, I just need to be on my own."  
  
Tony didn't know what to do. He understood how scared Michelle must be but he wanted to be the one to soothe and comfort her. His threat to her about having to choose either him or their relationship played over and over in his mind – she might not want a bar of him. His own emotions were all over the place – at this point he just felt relieved at seeing Michelle would be ok. She needed medical attention but after that she would be alright. He was disappointed with himself for saying what he had to her, but on the other hand he knew how desperate he was at the time, and the fact was, was most girls would have given up then and chosen the relationship. Not his Michelle though, she was far too generous and courageous – she would never put her own well-being in front of someone else's. Something he loved and admired about her so much, yet after situations like they had just been through he hated it. He tried again. "Chelle I'll be gentle with you....it's ok, it's me. I just want to make sure you are ok. I want to hold you."  
  
"I thought it was over between us Tony. Just let me be....I need to leave."  
  
"Chelle I was desperate when I said that, I thought you would choose the relationship. I could never end things with you sweetheart. I love you so much. It was a stupid altermation and I am so sorry."  
  
"I had to do what I did Tony – there never was a choice for me. 

Please let me go home, I just need to be on my own." Michelle didn't really want to be on her own, in fact was desperate for his touch but she was too scared. She wasn't exactly sure what she was scared of – maybe he would be too rough like Les, maybe he really did want to end things, how could she let him see her so beaten and battered?

I can't take you home, an ambulance is on its way and they need to check you out. I know you don't really want to be on your own Chelle, you are just pushing me away. I need you Michelle. God I need you…..please."

The police had arrived by the point and had escorted the two men to the car. After having a few words with Jack and his friend they approached Michelle and Tony with an ambulance officer. "Excuse me folks, I need to ask some questions and have you both checked out. Maam this is Officer Johns, he is a medic and he will help you out ok?"

Michelle couldn't stand the thought of another stranger touching her. She looked at Tony and then at the medic who was beginning to make his way over. She mustered up all the energy she had left to stand up and began to make her way for the front door. "I'm fine, don't come near me, Tony don't let anyone come near me." As she stood her body began to feel jelly like and her head became heavy and clouded – she felt dizzy.

Tony watched Michelle's face become even paler. He had never seen her look so alone and scared. He raised his hand to signal for the medic to stop, which he did, and then he moved at a face past to Michelle. Every second that past with her feeling like this was going to make the situation worse – he had to help her. He stood in front of Michelle and put one hand on her shoulder and the other on her cheek. Her entire body flinched to shake him off, she stepped back and he tried again but she still deflected his touch and moved away from him. Finally her threw both his arms around her and drew her body in close to his and held her pressed against his body. He could still feel her trying to struggle so he tried too soothe her. "Baby, it's me – I am not going to hurt you. I just want to hold you. Everything is going to be ok. Tell me how you are feeling, tell me Chelle."

His body felt so good next to hers and his familiar scent blocked the odor she was still gagging on from Les. She didn't know how t o feel – she just knew she didn't want to feel like this anymore. She burst into tears and in a hysterical cry told Tony, "I am so scared, I am so scared. I thought you were going to leave me. I disappointed you, I've disappointed myself. My body hurts. Tony he hurt me so bad."

Let me know what you think….thanks so much for all the reviews!!  



	16. so much pain

Tony loosened his grip on Michelle so that he could pull his head back and try and look her in the eyes. "I am so sorry, Chelle...."  
  
But Michelle cut him off before he could say anymore. "You have no idea how alone I feel right now." She said it with a very deadpan tone and then pulled herself out of his grip and took a couple steps back.  
  
"Chelle you don't need to feel alone – you have me."  
  
"You made me think it was over between us Tony. Don't you know how scared I was? Yet all I could think was that because I didn't do what you said then you didn't care for me anymore. I needed you so badly but you didn't want me, do you know how lonely that made me feel?" Michelle's entire body felt like it was about to fall apart. Every second she kept on hurting made her feel angrier at herself, Tony and they entire situation. She didn't know where to look or where to go. There were too many people around and they were all staring at her, she couldn't handle it anymore she had to get out of there.  
  
Tony was in shock and he just didn't know what to say. He felt sick that he had made her feel that way. He wished she could understand where he was coming from. "I was desperate to try anything to make you choose me instead of you. Most people would have picked the relationship....but not you, you are so much better than that. You have to know I was just desperate, how could I ever, ever break up with you? You're the love of my life Chelle. Don't you know how hard all this was for me Michelle? How the hell was I supposed to be able to handle watching all that happen to you??" Tony was so angry, why didn't she know how much he loved her. He knew he shouldn't be yelling at her but he didn't know how else to get his point across.  
  
Michelle could feel the blood from her eyebrow trickling down her eye, she tried to wipe it away but it just smeared across her cheek. She yelled back at Tony, "If you know how hard it was for you to watch it happen to me, why the hell can't you understand why I had to go against what you were saying and not choose you."  
  
Tony almost spoke over top of her. He raised his voice even more – people 3 stories down could have heard him. "Because it was my job to look after you. You're more fragile and smaller than me, I could handle what they dished out easier."  
  
"If you were in my situation Tony, what would you have done?"  
  
"That's not the point Michelle. This was about you."  
  
"You saved me in the end anyways and you guys caught them both, I did nothing to help – so you did look after me....isn't that what you wanted?"  
  
Jack and his friends, the police and the medics plus a few people from surrounding apartments who had stuck their head in all watched in silence as Tony and Michelle stood yelling at each other. At one point or another they were about to jump in and break it up but decided against it because they figured it was probably a good thing that they were getting all this out in the open. Although it was a situation they all wished they could have given Tony and Michelle privacy for they all had their reasons to stay. The police needed reports, Jack could never leave his friends like this and the medics knew they had to take Michelle to the hospital. Everyone could see how pale they had both become and how unsteady Michelle was becoming on her feet. Jack had never seen Tony so fired up and he was shocked.  
  
"God Michelle you just have no idea where I am coming from. This isn't about me wanting to be a hero or some shit – is that what you think?"  
  
"I don't know what I think Tony. You have confused the hell out of me tonight."  
  
Tony was tired of fighting with Michelle, he hated this. His own body ached so much and he could tell by just looking at Michelle she was getting worse by the minute. He just couldn't make himself calm down though. He took a step forward towards Michelle and pointed his finger at her as he spoke. "You....you broke my heart. You will never ever understand the pain I have felt tonight. You think you feel alone!? Well so do I Michelle....so do I."  
  
"Well Tony if I have already broken your heart and caused you so much pain....maybe you were on the right track when you pretty much broke up with me before." Michelle regretted saying that as soon as the words left her mouth. She couldn't think straight anymore. Everything just felt such a mess and she was sure things with Tony had been too damaged. Her head was cloudy, her legs started to buckle underneath her and her eyes went blurry....  
  
Michelle's words felt like she had driven a knife straight through his heart. He should've killed Les when he had the chance – it was his entire fault this was happening between him and Michelle. That stupid thug would never know what he had done to them. How could she say that?!  
  
"What?......"  
  
Tony only got that one word out when he saw Michelle's body slump to the floor. It took a moment for it to register that she had passed out. He felt bodies ran past him to hers and for a couple of seconds it felt like a dream as he watched everyone try and wake her. Watching her lifeless body as the medics picked her up and placed her on one of their trolley's Tony began to realise what was important here. Seeing Michelle in such a state and revisiting all the images he had from earlier in the night when he was so close to losing her made all his anger wash away and it was replaced with an even deeper love for Michelle than he had had before. He pushed through everyone and stood by her side. "Michelle.....Chelle sweetie, wake up." She didn't stir and he felt so hopeless, he took her hand and squeezed it.  
  
Due to Michelle's state, no one was allowed in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and so Tony followed right behind with Jack. Jack used this opportunity to try and get through to his friend. "Tony trust me, I know you are hurting but you guys can't do this to each other. You do know that you are both basically fighting over things you both did because you care so much for each other."  
  
"I know. Thanks for everything Jack – I wasn't sure if the phone thing would work or not, but I knew you would be my best bet. Thank you."  
  
"Of course buddy – I know you would do the same."  
  
"Jack that was the hardest night ever. I just can't believe what has happened."  
  
"I don't understand what you and Michelle were so angry with each other about – why do you mean by the choosing stuff?"  
  
"At the beginning when they first had us, I told them something along the lines of what I'd do to them if they hurt her. They punched me in the stomach for speaking to them and told me to shut up. Hearing Michelle scream and cry when they hit me was worse than the punch itself. A few minutes later they started threatening Michelle and waving a knife in her face. I couldn't help myself and I begged them not to hurt her. This time they said to me that seeing as them punching me in the stomach hadn't taught me a lesson maybe I'd pay more attention if it was Michelle that got hurt so just like that one of them turned and punched Chelle in the face. That's how she got the cut on her eyebrow and the black eye. Then they went through our wallets and were pissed at how little money we had, they asked if there was more in the house and I said no – this made them even angrier. They said one of us was going to have to be punished for upsetting them. Then they said to Michelle that seeing as they had already heard so much from me they were going to let her decide which one out of us was to get punished. They let us fight it out. I was begging her Jack to just pick me – nothing could possibly hurt more than seeing Michelle get beaten up. She was saying she could never ever put herself before me and there was no way she would pick me. I got so desperate that I ended up giving her an ultimatum that if she didn't pick me then I'd break up with her. Of course I would never break up with her, but I hoped she would choose the relationship - like most people would. It backfired though because she said she would rather have me hate her forever but know I was ok then be the one who was responsible for me getting hurt.  
  
Obviously she picked herself and the rest is history. God Jack we started the night so unbelievably in love and now look at us."  
  
Jack truly felt sorry for Michelle and Tony – what a horrible situation for them to be put in. Either way the situation had played out they both would have been hurt and devastated. "I am so sorry Tony. What bastards! I can now understand where you are both coming from. The thing is though Tony, it wasn't Michelle's fault that she was told to pick. You know from the bottom of your heart that you would have done exactly what she did too. If the roles had been reversed there wouldn't have been a chance in hell that you would have picked her to get hurt....right? I totally understand why you are – I promise you I do, but as hard as all of this was on you tonight, I just don't think you can be angry at Michelle. If anything you need to be grateful that you have found a woman that cares for you so much she would protect you at any cost. I know you couldn't say that about any other girl you have ever dated."  
  
Everything Jack said made sense. Tony had needed someone objective to kick his ass into gear. He just hated what had happened so much. "You are right Jack, but you heard what Michelle said right before she passed out – she pretty much said that maybe us breaking up was the right thing. Do you think I stuffed things up so bad that she really wants it to be over? How can I prove to her that she is not alone and I'd never have broken up with her? It's been such an emotional, tough week Jack – I mean how do we get through it and have the relationship survive? I know most couples would have never even made it this far. Am I expecting too much from Michelle to want her to keep giving us another go?"  
  
"Tony, you just need to be there for her as much as possible right now. I can only imagine that she is going to be really freaked out and scared. You need to do everything you possibly can to make her feel safe. She is going to feel pretty sick and sore and will need someone to help her with stuff and care for her. Plus knowing Michelle, she will feel self conscious about any bruises scars she has from this so everyone is going to have to make sure that they don't make a big deal about how bad anything looks. This week has made you guys so close, I just know you guys can survive this as well. Talk to her Tony, explain how you felt tonight and make sure she understands exactly why you said the things you said. You will be fine Tony, just open yourself up to her and make her feel as loved and protected as possible."  
  
Tony played Jacks words over and over in his head the rest of the way to the hospital. He also left a message on Angie's phone letting her know what had happened and where they were. By the time they arrived there Michelle had already been taken through to a room and was waiting for a doctor. She had woken up and felt confused, lonely and scared in this strange room by herself. She felt relieved seeing Tony walk through the door.  
  
Tony made his way over to the bed. He tried to smile and speak with a soft and gentle tone. "Chelle, please hear me out. Just give me a couple minutes?"  
  
Michelle would have given Tony all the time in the world. No matter how bad she felt, she needed Tony so much. She felt so nervous and didn't want to be left alone. The whole night had left her so confused. She just hoped he wasn't going to yell at her again. She nodded her head, "thanks for coming here....can you...I...can, please don't yell at me again though."  
  
Michelle's eyes were so watery and he had never seen her look so vulnerable. He couldn't help himself, he wanted nothing more than to just scoop her up in his arms. He had to settle for stroking her hair across her forehead. "I swear, no more yelling. How are you feeling?  
  
The tears flowed from her eyes and when she spoke her voice was very shaky. "Tony I hurt so much." She sobbed for a moment, almost choking on her words. "I am so sore Tony. I can't get into a position I am comfortable in." She continuously had to keep wiping the tears from her cheeks.  
  
"Aww Michelle..." Tony's heart just melted. "Here..." He helped her sit up and then he climbed onto the bed up where her pillow was. He slid down the bed a little and put one leg on either side of her body. He very gently put his hands on her waist and pulled her body in to him. She lay back into his chest and he put his arms around her so that her whole body was encased with his. "Is this a bit better?"  
  
Michelle nodded her head. Although she didn't say anything, she felt so good wrapped up in his arms – she hoped he would never let go. "Don't cry sweetie, you are safe now and I am not going to leave your side. The doctors will give you something for the pain real soon."  
  
Tony hadn't expected all this to happen with Michelle. He thought when he went in to see her she would either tell him to leave or if he was lucky enough to get in she wouldn't really be up for hearing what he had to say. He realised how much she must really be going through and no matter what, above everything else – she needed to be comforted and feel loved and secure. He was sure he wouldn't be her first choice of person to be comforting her right now but seeing as he was the one she cried and turned too and she was letting him, he was going to be everything and more that she needed.  
  
The doctor walked in, he looked rather surprised and confused to find them in that position. Michelle was still weeping a little and so Tony spoke up. "Hi Doctor, My name is Tony Almeida – I am Michelle's boyfriend. Sorry I am up on the bed, I wanted to be able to hold Michelle as close as I could." Tony gave the doctor a look as if to say 'she really needs this right now' and the doctor only had to take one look at Michelle for one second to see how upset and vulnerable she was. If having Tony hold Michelle like that helped her any – it was completely fine with him.  
  
"That's fine Tony – whatever helps right now is good with me. I will need you to move your arms to the side though so I can access all of Michelle's body." Tony immediately did what he was asked. "Now Michelle, I am going to need to check everywhere you were hit. I'll give you an injection for pain before I begin, and then afterwards we will get that eye stitched up. Where are you sore?"  
  
A nurse began to prep Michelle's thigh for the injection. Michelle put her hand on her stomach, "Mainly on my front and side. My neck and my right thigh." Tony held Michelle's hand as the nurse gave the injection. Michelle seemed to be ok with it.  
  
The doctor nervously told Michelle that he would need her to remove her clothes down to her underwear and bra. He said he would give her a couple minutes privacy and then come back.  
  
Tony wondered what Michelle would want him to do. "Chelle, what do you want me to do. Do you want me to step outside – or stay with you?"  
  
"What do you want to do Tony?"  
  
"Chelle, I want to do whatever makes you feel the best. I'd like to be in here to support you, but if that makes you uncomfortable.....then I'll go outside."  
  
"No, don't go, don't leave. Please stay." Michelle almost begged.  
  
Tony kissed the top of her head. "Of course, it's ok – I am not going anywhere." Tony felt guilty that he had still not even mentioned everything that had happened between them yet. There was no time to discuss it right now but he wanted to acknowledge it. "Chelle, I know we can't talk about it right now, but I need you to know how sorry I am for tonight. Especially that stupid ultimatum I gave you – there is nothing in the world that could make me break up with you....I just was so desperate at that point I was willing to try anything to sway your decision. I didn't know how to cope with what was going to happen to you and it almost made me forget how rough it must have been on you being the one making the decision. I want you to know how much I value and appreciate the fact that you went to all lengths to protect me – I really am the luckiest guy in the world. I've just never felt so much pain in my heart than I did tonight watching them touch you like that – there is nothing more devastating and heartbreaking then having to watch something like that and not be able to help you. I thought I was going to lose my mind, I know that's no excuse to get angry at you, I just freaked out and I didn't know how else to direct everything I was feeling."  
  
"I am sorry for everything Tony – it was an impossible situation for both of us. I tried to be tough Tony, but I just couldn't – I was so frightened. After he hit me the first time so hard, I really thought we might not make it out of it all. Were you scared? God, I hate them so much..."  
  
Tony tightened his grip a little on Michelle. "It's ok now Chelle – we are both safe and we still have each other. We will chat lots about this – but we had better get you changed now because the doctor will be back any second."  
  
Michelle sat up a little and put her arms up in the air, Tony pulled her top off over head as gentle as possible. As he did this, Michelle covered herself with a blanket at the same time so that Tony was unable to see any bruises. He did see for a second before Michelle lay down again a huge one on her back. Tony then jumped off the bed and stood over Michelle. He undid her button and fly and pulled her pants down and then off her legs. Michelle did the same thing again with the blanket. He climbed back up on to the bed back into the same position as before. Just as he got settled the doctor walked back in.  
  
"Ok Michelle lets look at your stomach first. Are you ready?"  
  
Michelle nodded. Tony kissed Michelle's cheek. He felt so frightened of what he was about to see. The doctor pulled the blanket down to reveal an almost black and blue stomach, especially all up her left side was black. Her chest had red marks, and her entire stomach and side was very swollen. It was so noticeable on her left side – it stuck out about an entire finger length from her body it was so swollen. At the top of her arms there were finger and hand imprints in bruises – that must have been from when Les was forcing Michelle to stand up. Tears streamed down Tony's face, even the doctor looked a little chocked up. Michelle saw how the doctor looked at her and she could feel the tear drops landing on her shoulder from Tony, she felt so bad. "I am so sorry I am so ugly to look at. I'm so discoloured – I feel like I must be offensive to you, I am so sorry."  
  
This made Tony actually sob. He didn't care who heard him, at this point it was the only way he could express how he felt. "Chelle you are the most beautiful person in the world. Those bruises will heal in no time at all. You take my breath away."  
  
The doctor also tried to reassure Michelle that she was beautiful and that the markings would go away soon enough. He wanted her to try and think and feel confidently about her body. He turned her to her side to see how far around the marks went. He could actually see the shape of a boot in a bruise on her lower side and back. It made the doctor feel sick.  
  
Michelle squeezed Tony's hand. "Please don't cry Tony, please don't cry."  
  
"I am sorry Chelle. I am so sorry for what they did to you. It rips me apart to see this my princess. God I'm sorry for all of this, I just can't believe that this has happened." Tony kissed her cheek and the top of her head. He squeezed her hand back and then whispered in her ear, "I'll never let go of you again."  
  
Michelle began to cry again, she didn't know how to respond to Tony. She never wanted him to let her go again. The tears stung in her black eye – making her flinch and groan. She cursed herself, "stupid bloody eye...I can't even cry without it hurting." All her thoughts kept the tears flowing though.  
  
"Tony...."  
  
"Yes sweetie?"  
  
As Michelle began to talk, she became more and more chocked up to the point she sounded almost sounded hysterical. Her breathing was short and fast and she couldn't see through the tears. The doctor was so affected by her that he stopped examining and stood back. He placed one hand on her shoulder and gently stroked her.  
  
"I thought I had lost you Tony, either from my actions or theirs. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you. What would I have done Tony? Tony...."  
  
Tony shifted his body around to the side of the bed so he could pull Michelle's head into his chest. He held one hand on her back as tightly as he could and the other one was on her head. She sobbed and Tony could feel the tears running down his stomach.

I have to leave it there for now – but hopefully I'll get the next chapter up tomorrow or the next day latest. Thanks for the reviews – I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! 


	17. more pain

Michelle didn't know how to control herself. She pushed her face deeper into Tony's chest trying to muffle her sobs. All of her emotions from the entire night just kept flooding her head and she didn't know how to deal with them. Above everything else she felt so afraid. In her head she knew she was safe now but the rest of her body didn't seem to understand that, and the pain of petrifying fear hurt like nothing else had ever before. Her body was shaking violently and no matter how much he clung onto Tony she couldn't stop it.  
  
Tony was trying to hold her tight but he didn't want to hurt her. "Chelle, its ok you didn't lose me, I was so scared of that too baby. But it is alright now, we are safe – I'm here, its ok now."  
  
Michelle pulled her head out from his chest a little. "No, no no it's not ok. Nothing is ok. I'm a trained agent and I couldn't even look after myself, he beat me to a pulp Tony, I am such a disappointment to me, you – to everyone who trained me...."  
  
"Chelle you didn't have a choice – they had a gun, you were already hurt – you were protecting me." He couldn't believe how bad she was shaking, he caught eyes with her doctor, Dr. Sims to see what he was thinking. The doctor was instructing a nurse to go and get something.  
  
"Tony, where are they now? Where are they? How did they get into your place? God Tony I am so scared.....I'm sorry, I'm sorry. What would I do if I had lost you? I could have so easily lost you. Are you still so angry with me? I'm sorry I made you so mad at me. Look at what they have done to me – I'm so ugly, how can you even bare to look at me?" Michelle knew she was repeating herself and not making any sense but she was just all over the place and she didn't know how to make any sense of everything she was thinking. She felt like her life was just falling apart around her. She pushed him away by pushing her hands on his chest. She couldn't deal with this anymore and she didn't expect Tony too either. She was completely losing it and she didn't want him to see her like this anymore. She began to struggle out of his grip.  
  
Tony didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say or even where to start. He knew he couldn't let her out of his arms though, there was no way he was letting her out of his sight or giving her even 1 minute on her own to feel even more alone than she already did. "No Michelle...you are not going anywhere. I love you, I love you." His eyes pleaded with the doctor to help him and he moved himself behind her a little again so he could wrap both his arms around her arms and cross them over her chest so that she couldn't move at all. He could feel her still trying to resist but he had her so tightly she could barely move. He just kept repeating so softly in her ear, "its ok, I'm here....I'm not letting you go."  
  
The nurse re-entered the room and handed Dr. Sims something. He stepped in closer to the bed. "Tony, I am going to give Michelle an injection that will calm her down. She has just been through too much to digest at the moment." Tony nodded. The doctor lifted Michelle's chin so he could see her eyes. They were so swollen and the tears were flowing so fast. Looking at the cut on her eye he knew he needed to get it stitched up as soon as possible. "Michelle, I'm going to give you something that is going to help you feel better, ok?! It will help the pain as well." Tony laid back in the bed a little and brought Michelle back with him so she lying down more and he still kept his arms around her, he hadn't loosened his grip on her at all for her benefit as much as his own. He couldn't believe how much her body was still shaking even though he was trying to keep her still. Through her back on his chest he could feel how short and shallow each breath was. As the doctor put the injection into Michelle's thigh Tony spoke to her, "Chelle you have to hang in there for me....I promise you – I am going to get you through this, I'm so sorry my angel, I promise you I will get you through this."  
  
Michelle's body went warm straight away – she could feel the fluid from the injection flowing throw her blood. As the warmth made it to different parts of her body she felt her muscles relax and the pain immediately sank away. Her eyes became heavy and within just a few minutes she had fallen into a very deep sleep.  
  
Tony could feel her breathing begin to return to normal and finally the shaking stopped. He breathed a sigh of relief. Dr. Sims stepped to his side of the bed, "Tony its ok, she is sound asleep – she will be out for a couple hours. Why don't you hop off the bed and give yourself a little bit of a break."  
  
Tony didn't want to leave her. "Its ok thanks, but I really don't want to leave Michelle."  
  
"Tony, trust me Michelle will not know for a second that you are not there with her – she is in a medicated induced sleep and there is no way she will wake for a couple hours. Besides I need to finish examining her and then I'll need your help getting a gown on her. I also know there are a couple police officers waiting outside to talk to you."  
  
Tony reluctantly unwrapped his hands from Michelle and slid out from underneath her. She didn't show any signs what-so-ever of stirring. Once he was standing he walked to the opposite side of the bed that Dr. Sims was on so he could see what he was looking at. He took extra care to explain to Tony what he was finding. "I know how horrifying it all looks Tony, but these bruises and the swelling will go down lots over the next couple of days. I will get some x-rays though to make sure there is no other damage." He rolled Michelle's body onto her side and Tony helped support her. Tony let out a huge gasp when he saw the boot shaped bruise on her back. "Son of a bitch – I swear to God if I ever get my hands on those bastards again...." Tony cut himself of mid sentence when he noticed blood had begun to seep through the blanket covering her legs. He pulled the blanket up to find a deep cut about 5cm long on the side of her right thigh. He picked up her pants to check and found a slit in them, the insides were also covered in basically dry blood. He couldn't believe it hadn't been noticed yet. "Doc, how the hell could we have missed this?"  
  
Dr. Sims studied the wound, "Tony this is the first chance I have had to examine Michelle, and as far as I know Michelle wouldn't let anyone near her before she was brought in. The wound is deep, and sometimes when it is deep like this they won't bleed as much as a normal cut."  
  
"He was flashing the knife in our faces, but I didn't think he had used it. What the hell.....I was trying to watch every damn thing he did to her while I wrestled with the other one....I can't believe I missed that. How could he have done that? What sick, sick bastards!!"  
  
"Tony......Tony calm down. Don't get yourself worked up, I need your help – and Michelle needs you." Dr. Sims put his hand on his shoulder to offer some support. "We can just get this stitched up right now along with the cut on her eye – it's ok." Tony nodded and thanked him. "Tony, I'll get you to step outside and talk to the officers while we take care of the stitches, ok!?"  
  
"Please just call me as soon as I can come back in." Tony kissed Michelle on the forehead and then left the room. Jack and a couple officers were waiting patiently outside. Jack jumped up as soon as he saw Tony, "How's Michelle doing? Is she ok?"  
  
Jack shook the police officers hands and patted Jack on the arm to show his appreciation for them waiting. "She really isn't good. She is so frightened and experiencing so many different emotions at the same time.....it's all just been too much and to make it worse she really thought she was going to lose me one – either that I'd leave her or that they were going to do something to me, so I need to make her really realize and trust I'm not going anywhere. She was pretty hysterical and so the doctor had to give her and injection to relax – she is sound asleep now and will be for a little while yet. We found a stab wound in her thigh and so they are stitching that and her eye up now."  
  
They were all shocked and the officers expressed their deepest sympathy for what had happened. Jack just couldn't believe what they had been through in the last week. He wondered how they were both going to get through it all. He put his arm right around Tony, "I don't even know what to say Tony, this is all just so messed up and you guys are the last ones in the world that deserve this shit to happen to them. I am so, so sorry. Did you and Michelle sort out all that stuff between you?"  
  
"No, not really. Basically as soon as I walked in Michelle cried to me how sore and uncomfortable she was. I know she was so distraught over what had happened between us but I think she felt so scared and was in too much pain not too reach out for some help and comfort. I climbed onto the bed and held her and tried to soothe her but she kept getting more and more upset, I think the last straw for her was when Dr. Sims and I actually saw for the first time all of the bruises – she was so worried I would be turned off by them. I explained really quickly how sorry I was and where I was coming from, and we agreed to talk it over later. God Jack, you should have seen how violently she was shaking and how rapid her heartbeat was."  
  
They were interrupted by a nurse asking if Tony would like them to contact her parents or any siblings. "No thanks – they are not around."  
  
He turned back to Jack, "I just...it's...I..."  
  
The officers sat down to offer them a little privacy. Jack patted Tony's back, "What is it Tony? You just what?"  
  
Tony's body slumped to the ground and he tucked his knees under his chin. "Jack, she doesn't even have parents to come in and be here for her. She has no family at all. Imagine not having any family around you at a time like this."  
  
"Tony we will be her family then. We can be everything she needs us to be. She has got lots and lots of friends that all love her as family. Together we can all help her. What about you Tony – you were there too, how are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm lucky Jack, I mean they punched me that once, but other then that they didn't invade my personal space and comfort zone. That is what will make Michelle so distraught – the pain the inflicted on her broke all boundaries between people. They broke any feeling of comfort and safety she felt.  
  
I'll never ever be able to block out the images I have in my head of seeing them hurt her Jack. I felt emotions I had never experienced before and the pain of the whole situation was worse than anything I have ever felt before. It's still there and I just feel so sick from it. You should have seen her Jack, I had to hold her so tightly in my arms because she was struggling to get up and leave – like she couldn't face it anymore. She was trying to ask questions and tell me how she was feeling but it was all over the place – she was having trouble even making sense of her thoughts. I hate this, I really hate this."  
  
Jack rubbed his shoulder and said a few times, "I know, I know....it will be ok."  
  
Tony excused himself for a moment and then used his cell phone to call his parents. His Dad answered and was panicked straight away to be receiving a call from Tony at that time of night. Tony blurted everything out that had happened, he barely even stopped to take a breath. He begged his parents to come to the hospital because he needed them. "Tony, of course we will be there – we are leaving now son and will be there in a couple minutes. Things are going to be ok."  
  
"Dad, Michelle doesn't any family. She hasn't seen her parents for so many years and they were horrible people. I can't imagine how that would feel when she is going through something like this."  
  
"Tony, your Mom and I will do everything we can for Michelle. You know we absolutely loved her tonight. We can all try and make her feel all the love and support of a family together."  
  
Tony thanked them and hung up saying he'd see them soon. He wondered back to the police officers and told them he was ready to answer any of their questions. They only had a couple as Jack had filled every single detail that he knew – they just needed to know how it all began. Tony patiently answered everything he could. After about 20 minutes they said they had what they needed for now – but that they would be in tomorrow to see both him and Michelle again. Dr. Sims came out and told Tony he could come back in now.  
  
Tony was relieved to see that they had cleaned Michelle up. There was no more blood smeared across her face or leg. The wound on her head looked very neat with the stitches. She had a fresh hospital gown on, Tony knew Michelle would feel better for all that when she woke up. He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it, then he kissed her forehead, followed by her cheek, her eye, her neck and finally her lips.  
  
"Tony..."  
  
He spun around to see his parents standing in the doorway. His mom had tears running down her cheeks and his dad's face was one of despair. Tony rushed into their arms....it was he first chance to be comforted after everything that had happened – it was hard to fall apart in front of anyone else except his parents. Michelle had become the first person outside of his family that he had ever 'lost it' in front of.  
  
As soon as he had seen them and his mind knew he didn't need to suppress his feelings anymore, he could feel the angry rising in his body again. When his mom asked him if he was hurt, and how Michelle was, he let his anger explode in his answer. He knew his parents wouldn't take it personally.  
  
"How the hell could this happen to us? I'm not fine, Michelle is not fine – I don't know how we are ever supposed to deal with this. Why did this have to happen to Michelle – she is the most perfect, kindest most beautiful person in the world, she doesn't deserve this." His Dad pulled him in again and hugged him – held him close. His mom rubbed his back. Tony's voice became so desperate, "Dad how do I make her feel safe again? You have to tell me how I can take her pain away."  
  
"Tony there is no easy answers to those. You need to just keep holding her and comforting her and she will come around at some point and feel safe. You can't take away her pain Tony but you can try and share it with her. Make her open up and talk to you about how she is feeling and make sure she knows it is ok to feel whatever it is that she is feeling. Tony you have a wonderful character, I have no doubt you will be everything Michelle needs." They all stood there in silence for a few minutes. Tony was taking in what his Dad had said and his parents didn't want to make any kind of move until they new what Tony was going to say or do next.  
  
A weak voice cut through the silence in the air. "Are you ok Tony?"  
  
All 3 of them turned at the same time to see Michelle with her eyes half open. Tony rushed to her side. Michelle got so swept up in the feelings of wanting to be as close to him as possible that she started to sit up reach her arms out for his neck. Tony could see in her face the movement had caused her some pain. "Aww Chelle be careful, I'll come to you." He scooped her up in his arms. His entire body came up into the hug pulling her out from under the covers – she was kneeling on her knees and the rest of her body was pressed into his. They both felt so good to be in each other's arms. Michelle looked over his shoulder to recognize that the other 2 people were not in fact doctors like she had originally thought but rather Mr. and Mrs. Almeida. (Alex and Jessica) She gave them a smile and a small wave.  
  
Tony thought back over the last year with Michelle, no hug had ever felt as good as this one. She was clingy onto him as if he was all she needed, which suited him just fine. Michelle pulled her head back so she could look at his face. "I'm so sorry about before Tony....." He cut her off... He spread his hands on her cheeks and wiped her tears with his thumb, "Don't ever be sorry." He kissed her cheeks, then her tears. "You are everything to me Chelle." He pressed his lips against hers and so tenderly kissed her. "Oh my god, you feel so good in my arms. How are you feeling right now?"  
  
"I can barely feel my body at all, which is the best."  
  
Jessica and Alex approached Michelle and Tony. Jessica placed her hand on Michelle's neck, "Hi Sweetie, it's good to see you up. Do you need anything?"  
  
"Hi – thank you for coming in, it must be late. I am totally fine, I don't need anything at all."  
  
They all couldn't believe how up beat Michelle seemed. Compared to just 2 short hours ago she was completely different. This worried Tony and almost immediately he thought Michelle was trying to make everyone think she was fine, he knew this was really unhealthy. "Michelle before you slept you had asked me a pile of questions that I didn't get to answer, but I will now."  
  
"Don't worry Tony, we don't need to talk about any of that stuff. Let's just forget about it all." Michelle was almost speaking through her teeth she was trying so hard not to show any emotion about it. It was already really hard for her to keep up this cover – she felt like it wouldn't be long till she caved again.  
  
Tony's Dad, Alex sat on the end of the bed. "Michelle I know you only just met us today, but you made such a big impact on us. That mixed with how perfectly you treat our son, we already love you. We want to be here for you, we want you to feel like you can talk to us and we will support you. You have been through such a traumatic experience you need to tell people how you are feeling."  
  
"But I am feeling fine, there really is nothing to say. I don't want anyone worrying about me. Do you think they will let me go home soon?"  
  
Tony really began to panic thinking that Michelle had decided to shut everybody out. Did she feel like she couldn't talk to Tony? Had he handled things so badly with her before the injection that she didn't want to do that again? Did she feel like she couldn't handle it? He decided to test her a little to try and figure it all out. She was holding onto him so tightly, that he knew right there she wasn't ok at all. He gently took his hands off her body and then took her hands and moved them off him. He did it in a way as if he was just having her lie down again. The expression on her face changed instantly. "Well Chelle if you are feeling pretty good then, do you mind if we leave to go and get something to eat? We will come back later."  
  
Jessica and Alex caught on to what their son was doing straight away and played along. Jessica agreed with Tony, "That sounds like a good idea, I'm starving."  
  
They all watched as Michelle instantly became vulnerable. She sank into the bed and lowered her head breaking all eye contact. Her eyes were beginning to get watery.  
  
"That's fine.....Jacks here right? Can he come in?"  
  
"Thanks Chelle. Jacks not here though. No one else is here at the moment. I'll switch your lights off and you can just get some sleep while we are gone." Tony felt bad saying all this to Michelle but he could see it was working. Nothing in the world mattered to him more than comforting Michelle – he needed her to know how important she was, just how much he loved her.  
  
Michelle panicked. There was no way in this world she would be able to stay here on her own, especially with the lights out. Her heart began racing, her hands started to shake and her stomach started doing flips. Her breathing started to get heavier and her bottom lip began to quiver. She thought she would seriously have a panic attack if Tony left her right now, she couldn't bare to be alone with her thoughts. Her mind raced trying to find a reason to make him stay. "You know, I bet the hospital would bring you up some sandwiches to the room – I'll order them for you."  
  
Tony could see how quickly she was falling apart, and it broke his heart. "It's probably best for you if we let you get some rest Michelle. Unless you want me to stay...."  
  
"I don't need more sleep." Michelle was so close to breaking point but she just stopped herself. She felt so pathetic that she was so freaked out about having to be left by herself. The whole reason she was acting like this to Tony was because wanted to be able to prove to herself and him that she was a good, strong agent. She had felt so disappointed with herself that, that guy had so easily beaten her up. She also didn't want to bring him down with her, looking at her black and blue scarred body she didn't feel good enough to have Tony. On top of that she just didn't know how to talk about it, deal with it or face it. It was hard enough just picturing it all, never mind having to discuss it as well – she had tried that earlier and look where that got her, so messed up they had to drug her to calm her down.  
  
"Chelle, its ok to admit you want me to stay.......I can understand why you wouldn't want to be left alone. I just can't understand why all of a sudden you are trying to pretend things are fine – when I know that couldn't be further from the truth."  
  
Michelle looked at his parents who were nodding their heads along with what Tony was saying. Even they had seen through her pathetic attempts. It felt kinda nice to have parent figures being there for her. It was hard to imagine them sticking around for her when they realize all her faults. If her own parents could care less about her, what hope did she have with anyone else?! She knew she shouldn't get to close too them.  
  
Tony stepped closer to her, "Come on Chelle, we are not buying any of your 'I'm fine' attitude.  
  
Michelle's lip quivered even more and she knew as soon as she opened her mouth the tears were going to start. She found herself almost yelling at Tony and his parents. "Ok, Ok! Please don't leave me... You are the one that got up to go and leave me. Didn't you want to hug me anymore?"  
  
Tony felt relieved she had hit this point, he knew once he got her to weaken a little he wouldn't have much trouble opening her up from there. He took another couple steps in closer to her. "I did that because I knew this would be the best way to get you to open up to me again. I love hugging you Chelle – more than you could imagine."  
  
"I'm so glad I'm so easy to figure out. I don't understand Tony, why can't you just hold me in your arms like before?"  
  
Tony got to the side of the bed where Michelle was basically lying down, he instinctively went to run his hand across her stomach but got a harsh reminder at the site of the bruise that it wasn't the place for that at the moment. Instead he gently traced her neck and should line at the top of her chest. "Is that what you want me to do Michelle?"  
  
Michelle closed her eyes as she responded to Tony, "You know I need to be in your arms Tony." She felt angry with him that he didn't realize how much she needed him. "Even after everything this last week, have you forgotten that it's in your arms that I feel safe?"  
  
Tony felt shocked – he hadn't realized how important it was to her. Even though he knew she was kinda upset with him, what she had just said made him feel so good. After what had happened tonight he had been so afraid that because he hadn't really been able to protect her and it happened with him at his apartment that the last place she would consider as safe was with him. "I didn't think after everything that had just happened that you would still feel this way. Especially when just before we gave you the injection to sleep you were trying to leave and get away but I had to put my arms around you so tight and not let you move. I had no idea Michelle how you would still feel....how am I suppose to know?"  
  
"I don't know Tony.........you just should! Don't you get it? It's you that makes me feel so good because it's you! So to have you wrap me up and cover my body with yours makes me feel like I'll be ok. It makes me feel like I am special to you Tony. If I am wrapped up your arms....you wouldn't let anything bad happen to me right?? You are just supposed to know!!"  
  
"Awww my Chelle. Nothing would ever happen in my arms. I love hearing how much you like being that close with me. I want you to feel special in my arms because you are just so special in my life."  
  
Tears rolled down Michelle's face, she spoke through quiet cries, "So why can't you hug me then? Can't you please hold me just for a bit without making me talk and think about everything? I'm begging you Tony...please don't make face last night right now, I can't, I just need a break for a bit. I just want to be able to feel 'OK' for awhile and I know I can if you will hold me."  
  
Tony lifted his body up behind her on the bed. "Baby, I'll hold you as long as you want. We don't have to discuss anything you don't want to, I promise. Chelle, you know I feel so much better myself when I've got you in my arms." Tony sat behind her so that she was sitting in between his legs which ran down each side of her body. He slid her gown down the tiniest bit, just enough to reveal her shoulder. He tenderly kissed her shoulder slowly moving the kisses up her neck. Once he reached her ear he made his way back but this time it was with more passion as he used his tongue with each kiss. For that brief time Tony's touch made her forget everything else that was going on. As always she completely just melted to his touch. It was such a meaningful intimate moment between the two of them. He then wrapped his arms around her waist, "Michelle where can I put my hands so it doesn't hurt?" Michelle pulled the gown to the side to reveal her stomach. They both found the strip right under her bra line that wasn't bruised the whole way across. Michelle picked up his hands and put them on the strip of bare skin. He then pulled her body back in close to his, he even crossed his leg over the top of hers – now he really did have her whole body covered with his. She rested her head back into his chest and he nuzzled into her neck and licked her ear lobe making her giggle in a way that let him know she wanted more. They were both completely lost in their own little world together.  
  
Alex and Jessica Almeida were still standing stationary in the same spot in absolute awe as they witnessed the unbelievable love between the two. After hearing the words they exchanged with each other, it was so obvious their love for each other ran very deep and was just so real. They watched as Tony climbed up onto the bed and pulled Michelle in close to his body. He kissed her shoulder and they could see just how tender and gentle he was with her. They felt so proud of their son as they saw him be everything Michelle needed him to be, they knew right then that this was the girl he would spend the rest of his life with. They loved that idea – Michelle was everything and more they had hoped Tony would find. Even when Michelle was feeling weak and upset herself she still managed to word things to Tony in a way that let him know how much she cared for him. The chemistry between them was unmatched and something to admire. They walked over to Tony and Michelle. Michelle had her head leaning on Tony's chest, she was stroking his forearm with her fingers and telling Tony a story of a time when she was a lot younger and on vacation. Tony was listening intently, occasionally laughing at some of the funny things she got up too. Michelle stopped telling the story when she noticed Alex and Jessica and lifted her head up off Tony's chest.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Almeida I...."  
  
"Michelle, please call us by our first names." Alex said with a smile.  
  
"Ok, Alex and Jessica – I am so sorry for everything you have seen tonight. You have no idea how nervous I was to meet you both and make a good impression. I've never had a family and so I really didn't know what to expect and to be honest I was even worried I wouldn't know how to act properly. I want you to know that Tony means everything to me and there was nothing more important than doing everything I could to be someone you would be happy to see your son with.  
  
Not even that could go right – I mean the first night you meet me and all this happens. I am just so sorry...." As Michelle was speaking Tony started saying, "Chelle, no. No Chelle." And then Jessica put her hand on Michelle's leg and cut her off, "Michelle, don't say any of this. We really...."  
  
Michelle stopped both Jessica and Tony from continuing. She forgot and sat forward too quickly causing a sharp pain to shoot through her stomach. She yelped in pain and clutched her stomach. Tony freaked out and pulled Michelle back so she was lying against his chest again, "Chelle you've gotta be more careful, I don't want you getting worked up. Just stay lying back against my chest where you know it doesn't hurt."  
  
"I will, I will, I just really need you guys to hear me out please." Alex, Tony and Jessica all nodded their heads like they would let her continue.  
  
"I don't want you to think I am the sort of person who can't control my emotions. Most of all I hope you know that usually I can look after myself better. I am ashamed that I couldn't defend myself better last night and now because of that I have these hideous bruises all over me and even on my face. Anyone can say what they want to be nice to me but I'm not blind and know what a turn-off and mess I am right now." Michelle looked at Tony, "don't think I don't appreciate what you are putting up with." Above everything I'm sure you are not impressed with the fact that I can't face what has happened. I have no excuse for that, I don't even know what to say about that now – but it is definitely not something I am proud of. I am just so sorry you have had to see all these sides to me basically the first day you meet me. All I can say is that I really do care so much for Tony and what I want is for him to be happy....."  
  
Michelle was interrupted by a nurse walking in to the room to give her another pain injection. Silence filled the room the entire time the nurse administered the injection. The nurse would have felt the tension in the room. Tony moved his body so he was next to Michelle, he needed to be able to see her face. He could see both his parents were about to speak to her but he put his hand out and said he just wanted to say something first.  
  
"This comes from your self-confidence Chelle. Exactly what we were talking about the other night. Why are you so rough on yourself?"  
  
Michelle was quick to defend, "I'm not rough on myself, and I just tell it how it is. If I can see it about me, so can everyone else."  
  
"No Michelle, you look at all of the situations in such a different way to everyone else. That's what brings your confidence down, because you have to find a fault in everything you do."  
  
"Ok how Tony? Tell me where I am wrong with all this then....are you going to look my in the eye and tell me that you do not find my bruises ugly or hard to look at?"  
  
"That's not a fair question Chelle."  
  
"Why, because if your honest with me then you'd be agreeing with me. That's fine, let's do another one. Wouldn't I be better off right now had I been able to defend myself better from that guy? Or Tony, are you going to tell me that it doesn't matter at all that when an image of last night comes into my mind my whole body tenses up to the point I feel so sick and frightened, and my body starts to shake and I can't think straight?"  
  
Tony got of the bed, and stormed around the room. He had no idea how he was suppose to respond to all of her questions. He was so angry, this was not how he intended this conversation to go. Even Jessica and Alex felt stumped. Jessica attempted, "Michelle, Alex and I adore you. We have since the moment we met you. We don't want you worrying about fitting in or making a good impression because we already think the world of you. Michelle you put our son's health and safety above your own and because of you he is ok right now. Because you did the most brave and generous thing you are hurt right now – and it is so natural for you to be scared and everything else right now, you have been through more than any of us could ever imagine, never mind actually handle."  
  
Tony butted in and yelled from the other side of the room. "Yeah exactly, it's because of me you are going through all this. It should be me going through all those things Chelle – not you. God I can't stand this, it isn't right." Tony was pacing back and forth. He pointed his finger at Michelle in anger, "It was so not fair of you to ask me those unfair."  
  
"Why was it so unfair of me?"  
  
"How the hell do you expect me to answer them?"  
  
"You are only angry with me because I was right with what I had said. I don't care Tony, I know it's all true...."  
  
"No, Michelle, that's not it at all. I am not angry – especially with you, I am just frustrated over how to answer them in a way that won't offend that you." He walked straight up to Michelle and held her face in his hands. "Baby how can you be so worried about these bruises – they will go away?"  
  
"Cause they look so ugly now. I saw your face when you first saw my stomach. It's such a big reminder of what happened – I've never seen me look like this before, I feel so horrible. It looks so disgusting. You must be so turned off when you look at me." She lifted her shirt sleeve so they could see the finger print marks on her arm. "It's like no matter what I can't get rid of him, just seeing his finger marks makes my skin crawl – I can't get away from him."  
  
Just as Michelle was finishing her sentence she had an itch on her thigh that she scratched. As she scratched she felt something strange on her leg, she lifted the covers back to see – Tony and his parents all watched a little confused as to what she was doing. Tony put his arms around her to bring her in close to him, but she didn't move into his arms. "Hang on a second, I can feel something strange on my leg." Even though the covers were already back it took Michelle a long time to lean her body forward enough to see. She saw a clear largish bandage protecting what looked like stitches.  
  
"Tony is that stitches? Why have I got them there?"  
  
Tony couldn't believe that Michelle either had blocked it out or didn't know that she had been stabbed by the knife. "Michelle you don't remember being cut by the knife?"  
  
The doctor poked his head through the door and Alex and Jessica excused themselves to go out and talk to him and give him an update.  
  
"I remember the knife, he was waiving it everywhere, but he never got me with it – that was the one thing I managed to escape."  
  
"No you didn't escape Michelle, he must have done it while you were passed out."  
  
"Why would he do that to me Tony? How could he have done that while I was just laying there unconscious. When he looked at me, he must have just hated me so much that he could just keep doing all of that stuff."  
  
"I don't know Chelle, he was just a sick, sick man."  
  
Michelle started to slide her body off the bed. Tony put his hands sown to stop her, "What are you doing?" Michelle removed his hands from her body and kept moving, "I want to be able to look at it in the mirror." Tony didn't want her too but knew it wasn't worth arguing about. He helped keep her steady as she very slowly shuffled her feet along the ground to the mirror. Once there Michelle pulled up her gown and looked at her thigh. "How many stitches?"  
  
"I'm really not sure Michelle, but I do know that because it was deep they did a couple layers of stitches."  
  
Michelle studied her leg for a moment longer and mumbled to herself but Tony still heard her, "that will leave a scare forever." Then she looked at the finger marks on her arm again and then back at her thigh. Tony was grateful that Michelle didn't know about the boot mark on her back. He watched her keep looking between her arm and leg. Finally Michelle turned her body around so she was facing Tony. They held each other's gaze for a moment but then Michelle burst into tears.  
  
"Why do you think they did it Tony?"  
  
He put his hands on her cheeks so that he could wipe her tears with his thumbs. It was also good too because Michelle kept trying to look down and this way Tony was able to direct her gaze. "I don't know sweetheart, I just don't know."  
  
Tony kept having to lift Michelle's head up so he could look at her eyes. As she cried, her breathing was becoming shallow and faster. Tony felt Michelle put one of her hands flat on his chest and then slowly use her fingers to grip on to him. At anytime Tony got the slightest feeling that Michelle actually needed him he tried to soak it in as much as he could. He just loved feeling Michelle grip his chest like that. As if she knew what he was thinking Michelle grabbed at his t-shirt with her other hand. Her body was shaking, but this time she slowly raised her head to meet Tony's gaze. Tony watched as her bottom lip quivered and he put a finger on her lip to try and stop it.  
  
Michelle's voice was quiet, nervous and shaky. "Did I.....do I deserve this Tony?"  
  
Tony took a second to make sure he had actually taken in what Michelle had said. He stepped in as close to her as possible. "Chelle, oh God No." He stroked her hair. "How could you possibly think that?" Tony felt tears rise in his eyes. "I don't know. What else could it be?" She used his t-shirt to pull herself in closer to him. He was looking into her eyes just repeating over and over 'No.' Some of Tony's tears reached his shirt. Michelle used one of her hands to wipe his face – first his left cheek and then his right. As she moved her hand down Tony grabbed her hand in his mouth and started passionately kissing it – his tongue was sliding across her hand to her wrist and back. He was desperate for her and she was just as desperate for him. She stood on her tippy toes and pulled her hand out of his mouth replacing it with her lips. He groaned as she pulled his bottom lip down and forced her tongue across into his mouth. They both still had tears running down their faces. Tony pulled his mouth apart from hers but kept it wide open and so close to hers they could still just about feel each other. He went to say something but she caught him by surprise by leaning in and putting her lips around his tongue. He loved this and he put his hand behind her head pulling it in as close as possible to him. After they had kissed for another minute he pulled his head back again as he had before. "I love you, I love you so much Chelle." Michelle groaned as she heard those words. "I love you Tony, more than you can imagine."  
  
They were interrupted by Dr. Sims and Tony's parents coming back into the room. Tony helped Michelle back into bed and got her settled under the covers. They held hands while they waited to see what her doctor had to say.  
  
Wow that was the longest chapter I have ever written. I hope you really liked it. Thank you so much to everyone for all of your reviews – they are so encouraging - thank you for taking the time for that!! 


	18. working through it

Dr. Sims only spent a short while in the room with Michelle, he organised some more injections for her so that she could try and get some more sleep, but basically he just wanted to check on her in person. He then asked to see Tony outside for a few moments. Alex and Jessica stayed with Michelle and helped get her comfortable.  
  
"Tony, how has Michelle really been since she woke up?"  
  
"Not good. She tried to pretend everything was fine for awhile but broke down as soon as she thought we were going to leave her alone. She wanted me to just hold her, but not make her talk about it. But then she basically apologised for all these things she thought were her fault..."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Michelle has it stuck in her head that because is a trained agent, she should have been able to defend herself better – she feels like she has let people down because of that. She feels like the bruises are so ugly that people will be turned off by her."  
  
"They are both very normal Tony. Sometimes these situations can be so hard for someone to deal with or get their head around that it is easier for them to try and take on all the blame for it, once they make the experience their fault in their own minds they can comprehend it all a little better. Unfortunately this also makes them withdraw from everyone they care about and feel like they are not good enough anymore."  
  
"Anytime she is forced to think about it, she begins to shake and breathe heavier – what can I do now to help when that happens?"  
  
"Tony, Michelle really needs to feel safe and secure. This was a drawn out traumatic experience and for that entire time she probably thought either you both wouldn't make it out of there or at least one of you wouldn't. Until it really sinks in for her that you are both here and ok – she will almost feel like she is reliving that fear....does that make sense?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so."  
  
"Just keep her close, assure her that you are both ok. Talk about things you will do in the future together, anything. She will need to start learning to talk about it though, but I'm happy to give her a little time."  
  
"Ok, thanks doc. I better get back in there." Tony turned to leave but Dr. Sims called for him again.  
  
"Tony, you experienced all this too. Physically you might be fine – but I am sure a lot of the same fears and thoughts are there for you too. I strongly recommend you talk to someone about all this. I can suggest some great people here at the hospital."  
  
"Thanks doc, but I am ok – all I care about is Michelle. If she is ok, then I'll be fine. I want to concentrate on her."  
  
The doctor new Tony wasn't fine and had been great affected as well but it wasn't the right time to push it. Maybe one Michelle was more out of the woods, Tony would begin to deal with it himself.  
  
Tony looked at his watch, it was close to 9am. He didn't feel tired though, all he felt was Michelle. He thought about what the doctor had said but he really thought he was handling things just fine. Actually he still had the worst pain when he thought about everything. He felt so guilty for what Michelle had been through. He didn't understand how anyone could put their life on the line for him, especially Michelle – didn't she understand she was too important to do that? Seeing her in pain for the sake of his own well-being was possibly the hardest thing he had ever had to comprehend. He felt so guilty now that he had to sit and watch Michelle blame herself for the entire thing when really it was his fault. Michelle was HIS girl and it was HIS responsibility to look after her – how would she ever feel safe with him again. How could she ever need him now when she had been through the worst experience ever and he had done shit all to help her. Tony didn't just want Michelle, he needed her and he desperately needed her to need him too. A couple times now she had clung on to him so tight and it made him feel so good, but he wondered if that was about him or just that she needed somebody close – and he was the one there. Wasn't she still mad at him? He hated himself so much for making Michelle feel like he would leave her through-out the experience. He wished she had known every single second she was going through it all just how much he loved her.  
  
None of what Tony was feeling was important though – all that was important to him was making sure Michelle was ok. He took a deep breath and joined his parents and Michelle again.  
  
Michelle took Tony's hand as he walked back to her side. "Tony, what did he say?"  
  
"Nothing much babe – don't worry."  
  
"Why did he want to talk to you in private then?"  
  
Tony sat on the side of Michelle's bed and put a hand on either side of her. "Sweetie, he just wanted to know how you were feeling..."  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Ummm, Chelle, I said you were umm...."  
  
"Tony just say it, tell me what you said."  
  
"Ok, I told him that I was worried because you seem to blame yourself, that you tried to make us think that you were ok, that your injuries made you feel self-conscious...."  
  
Michelle cut Tony off. "Alright, alright I get it." She turned her head to the side and stared at the blank wall. There was no where else to look with out having to have eye contact with either Alex, Jessica or Tony. She felt so self-conscious of them all staring at her. She wasn't use to lots of attention in any situation but this was the worse kind she could think of. She wished she could curl up and just sleep forever. "Chelle...I'm sorry, I just wanted to know what I could do to help. I feel so useless."  
  
Michelle didn't move her head and closed her eyes as she spoke. "You don't need to do anything! I am fine – I'll be fine – you don't need to spend your time worrying."  
  
Tony shot his mouth off before he had a chance to think it all the way through. "If you are fine, then how come anytime any of this is mentioned your body shakes, you have tears in your eyes, you can barely breathe...."  
  
Michelle opened her eyes and stared straight into Tony's. He was challenging her and she had no idea how to respond. "I don't know...that doesn't mean anything...."  
  
"Chelle it means everything!! You didn't even want to be left alone before..."  
  
"Damn Tony I didn't think you were taking notes. You know what I can't stand!?! It's your fault I feel this way...and for what?!? You have spent most of the time since this all started angry with me...."  
  
Tony knew it – Michelle blamed him. Of course she did, it was all his fault. As much as it would break his heart again to hear it, he wanted Michelle to yell and scream at him for letting her down in so many ways. He sunk his head and took a step back from the bed. His parents had already left the room to give them privacy. "I know it's my fault Chelle...."  
  
"No, no you don't!! You have no bloody idea Tony." Michelle started to try and sit up – it hurt like hell but she couldn't just lay there like that with all this happening. Once again the tears started to flow and she had to choke her way through them as she yelled at Tony. "God Tony I am trying so hard not to lose you, but I just can't keep up. Just tell me what I am supposed to do?"  
  
Tony was shocked, he was all ready for her to tear him apart for everything – he wasn't ready for her to say that. He had no idea what she meant. "You are not supposed to do anything Michelle, why would you think you are meant to do something?"  
  
"Because I don't want to lose you and it keeps feeling like I am going to do...."  
  
"Chelle you will never lose me. I am not going anywhere. Is that what you think?"  
  
"Well I watched them have a gun to your head Tony – I thought any second it was all going to be over. Then you told me you would leave me. Then when everyone was fighting I didn't know what was going to happen. Before we came to the hospital you were so angry with me, I thought you hated me. I see how I look and I know you couldn't want to be with me. You got upset with me before when I didn't want you to leave....."  
  
Tony moved in closer to Michelle and put his arms out for her but she pushed them away. "Chelle..."  
  
"No....you can't do this to me. You can't let me fall so in love with you if you are just going to leave. I don't care what happened to me Tony, all I care about was you but that doesn't seem to count for anything. Doesn't it matter how much I want you? It's like I am treading thin ice to have you."  
  
Michelle couldn't look at him anymore. She shifted her body slightly so that she was facing the other way – she was in so much pain trying to support herself sitting up but she didn't know what else to do.  
  
Tony's heart cried for Michelle. He had no idea she felt this way. He didn't understand how she could feel this way about him. He had to be closer to her. He climbed onto the bed and slipped in behind Michelle. She looked so uncomfortable. He put his hands around her waist and pulled her body into his so she was leaning back into his chest. He kept one hand tight around her waist and used the other to stroke the side of her face and her hair.  
  
"My beautiful, gorgeous Michelle. You are not going to lose me. I know how scary that was with the men Chelle...but you know what?! We got through it – we are alive and still here together. I have been angry, but not at you directly – just at this entire situation and all because I am so in love with you. Michelle you are my soul mate, my everything – I have to have you and I promise I am not going anywhere. I don't even see the bruises sweetheart because all I see is you – my sexy Chelle. If only you knew how much I want you baby – then you would see that I could never ever leave you."  
  
Gotta end it there for now....but I'll continue from here really soon!! 


	19. tony's turn

Michelle began to calm down a little as Tony's words soothed her. "Hasn't any of this freaked you out at all Tony?"  
  
"Of course Chelle. I've never been more freaked out then I was last night – it scared the hell out of me that I was going to lose you. I feel sick when I think about it all."  
  
Michelle tried to turn her head a little so that she could see his face. "But you seem to have it so together – how are you so strong....."  
  
Tony answered before Michelle had barely finished. "Because I have to be."  
  
Michelle was a little surprised by Tony's sharp answer. "Why do you have to be?"  
  
He tightened his grip on Michelle and stroked her hair a little harder. "Because I want to look after you." He kissed the side of her cheek and then carried on with her hair. Michelle knew she had hit a spot with Tony but she wasn't sure why – his answers were so short and direct and he sounded so adamant about them.  
  
"Sweetie you are looking after me, but that doesn't mean you can't freak out too – I want to be able to look after you as well Tony."  
  
Tony's voice and tone stayed the same but she could feel the muscles through-out his body tense up. "No Michelle. I am here for you – I am taking care of you."  
  
"But Tony...."  
  
"Michelle this is the way it is.....it is my right to be looking after you – things are going to be different, I won't let you down." He kissed her cheek again and then very gently kissed her bad eye.  
  
Michelle grabbed his hand and then started to sit up. Tony helped her supporting her back as she moved. Once up she was able to turn to face Tony better, she needed to be able to see his face. She was very concerned with the way Tony was acting. "What do you mean it is your right? Why would you even say you won't let me down?.....it's not something I am worried about Tony."  
  
With Michelle sitting up Tony almost didn't really know what to do, it was difficult to hug her when she was shifting around. He got off the bed and began to start fixing her blankets and straightening out her bed. He kept his eyes focused on what he was doing and didn't look up when he spoke. "As your boyfriend it is completely my right and responsibility to look after you and I am taking that seriously. I want you to feel safe with me again. Michelle we both know how much I have let you down, there is no denying that but that won't happen again. Anyways let's talk about something else."  
  
"Tony..." She reached out for him to take her hand. "You haven't let me down babe; I don't want you to think that at all. I feel safe with you....in fact in your arms is about the only place I do feel safe at the moment."  
  
He took her hand and she pulled on it so that he would come in closer. "I am just so lucky to have you sweetie..." He smiled at her and then gave her a kiss on the lips. "Michelle all of this happened at my place. I'll never forgive myself for what happened to you – I should have kicked their asses before they ever had a chance to lay 1 finger on you. I...."  
  
Michelle cut him off, "Please don't say that, it wasn't your fault, this didn't just happen to me it happened to both of us."  
  
Tony pulled out of Michelle's embrace and started to pace around the room. He was so assertive when he spoke, like he was so sure of everything he was saying – slowly his voice began to rise. "You are my girlfriend Michelle....I am meant to be your protector. You gave yourself to me and put all of your trust in me – expecting that I would keep you safe, you know....I am suppose to be the one person in the world that never makes you cry or hurt. I let you down though and you did get hurt and I didn't keep you safe....."  
  
Michelle slowly slipped off the bed so that she was standing. She was very unstable on her feet so she clung to the bed. "The situation was out of your control Tony – there was nothing you could have done, they had a gun. As soon as you saw a chance to take them down you took it and you did – you saved me from him Tony. I feel so safe with you. I gave myself to you baby because you are the one I am so deeply in love with. Giving myself to you was easy to do because you are the ONLY person in the world who completes me. When you put your arms around me I feel so special and warm and safe. You have seen all night Tony how much better I am when you have got me wrapped up with your body - you must have noticed that?"  
  
Tony had tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't expected to have to deal with any of this. He was so much better off looking after Michelle – having to face this made him feel so sick and weak. "Yeah, I know that during the night you wanted to be held close. I just don't understand...I mean when I followed the ambulance to the hospital I wasn't even sure if you would see me or not. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world when you let me hold you. How after everything that happened could you possibly feel good in my arms Chelle? Before we came to the hospital you wouldn't even let me touch you."  
  
Michelle wanted to be able to touch Tony but she was feeling really dizzy and unsteady just trying to stay standing. She took a couple very small steps in his direction. "Tony I didn't let you touch me then because I thought you were going to break things off with me. I was angry at you because you were so angry with me for picking myself. When you first came in I was so frustrated because I was in so much pain and I couldn't get comfortable. You climbed up onto the bed with me and through your touch somehow managed to calm me down and make me feel better. I love you so much, just thinking about you makes me feel good – so when we actually touch there is just no better feeling in the world Tony."  
  
Tony looked like he was taking it all in. He had stopped pacing but he was standing with his arms crossed and his face was becoming red and puffy from his crying. He turned so his back was against the wall and then he slid down it so that he was sitting on the ground in the corner of the room. As he was sliding down he looked at Michelle and asked her, "Really? Do you really feel like that?"  
  
Michelle had never wanted to hold and comfort Tony more than she did now. She kept trying to push through the pain and take some more steps to get closer to him. She was in a double room, the other bed was empty but it was just huge and a long way to the other side. "I really do Tony. Words just don't express how good you feel – Tony you are perfect for me, so perfect. I mean look how crazy I've gone in the last couple hours just thinking I was going to lose you!!"  
  
"You are so perfect for me Chelle, that's why I feel like I am falling apart. When I think about last night I feel so sick and guilty. I have been trying to handle it but, but I don't know how...."  
  
A nurse walked in and was completely shocked to find Tony hunched up in the corner in a total mess and Michelle standing in the middle of the room. She immediately could see that Michelle was more than struggling to be standing there like that.  
  
Michelle could see how angry the nurse looked to see her out of bed like that, but she didn't care – she had to get to Tony.  
  
"What is going on in here? Michelle what are you doing out of bed?"  
  
"Nothing is going on....I was just going over to Tony, that's all."  
  
"Why can't Tony just come to you?"  
  
Tony had his head in his hands, obviously not wanting the nurse to see his face, but he started saying, "I'm so sorry, I don't want you to get into trouble. I'm sorry, I just fell apart here."  
  
"Don't you apologise Tony, don't you dare apologise. I am not in trouble. You just stay there and I am going to come to you sweetheart." Michelle faced the nurse and tried to motion how upset Tony was so could she please just let them be. Unfortunately the nurse had been working most of the night and was extremely tired and in a bad mood. She had a reputation around the hospital as being very insensitive.  
  
"Michelle I don't care how upset he is, you are my patient and all that matters is that you are not in bed like you should be. I want you to go back to your bed."  
  
Michelle couldn't believe what a bitch the nurse just was about Tony. Why would she hurt his feelings like that for no reason at all? "No, I am not going back to bed yet, I will go when I have done what I need to do. I am fine."  
  
She sighed extremely loudly to let Michelle know how much she couldn't be bothered dealing with this. "You are not fine, not even close. You have gone completely pale, your eye's are barley open, your body is shaking and swaying and you are hunched over in pain. Now go back to your bed and I'll get an injection for pain."  
  
When Tony heard the nurse start listing all the things wrong with Michelle he lifted his head, "I'll come to you Michelle and help you back into bed." He was just about to get up when Michelle spoke so loudly to him she was almost yelling.  
  
"Don't you move Tony – you stay right where you wanted to be. This time I am coming to you, I mean it. I will be fine – I might be slow but I am on my way to look after you, nothing else is more important right now."  
  
The nurse was more than pissed off now, especially when Tony listened to Michelle and sat back down. Michelle was completely ignoring her orders. She pointed her finger at Tony, "what are you doing? I thought you would be taking care of her, not making her traipse all over the place.....you should know better."  
  
Michelle watched Tony and swore she could hear his heart beak into pieces. Considering the reasons why Tony was so upset at the moment the nurse could not have possibly picked anything worse to say. From the other side of the room Michelle could see that his body was shaking violently and he had the worst look of devastation across his face that she had ever seen. He began to get up again. "Tony, please listen to me, I am begging you to stay where you are – exactly like I just said to you before." Tony was too exhausted to argue and he was only going to do what Michelle wanted him to do – he was more concerned about making her happy not the nurse. He nodded at Michelle and sat back down sinking his head into his hands again.  
  
Michelle now turned to the nurse, "Just who do you think you are? How dare you speak to him like that, you have no idea what is going on here. You should leave."  
  
"Michelle, it doesn't matter what is going on – after what you have been through you need help. You need to be resting in bed. I will not be going anywhere, I am in charge here and I am telling you what you need to do."  
  
"Tony went through it all as well you know."  
  
"I did not know that. I'm sorry to hear that."  
  
"Well now you know, maybe now instead of being so completely insensitive you could understand a little better how important this situation might be. You are not in charge of me, I don't need to take orders from anyone. Now, I'll take the injection but I'll have it here as I am not going back to bed yet."  
  
Tony was hanging on Michelle's every word, he was so impressed to hear her standing up for herself and him. From how upset Michelle had been earlier he thought her confidence in herself had been so shot, he was surprised to hear her back to her kick-ass assertive self again. He was so proud of her.  
  
Alex and Jessica had walked into the room at the same time as Dr. Sims just in time to hear Michelle saying 'you are not in charge of me etc...' All three of them were horrified and stopped dead in their tracks. Dr Sims looked at Tony, then the nurse and then Michelle. "What is going on here? Alex and Jessica, I ask that you stay where you are until we sort this out." He knew they would want to go to Tony but he couldn't have them getting in the middle of whatever was going on.  
  
"Doctor, I found Michelle out of bed trying to walk across the room to Tony. She is shaking and swaying, pale, hunched over in pain and can barely open up her eyes yet she refuses to get back into bed. Michelle is by no means well enough to be out of bed."  
  
Dr Sims looked at Michelle and could see that everything the nurse had said was true. He knew what Michelle did for a job and that meant she had to be very responsible and have a lot of common sense. After all the time he had spent with Tony, he figured there must be a good reason as to why he was on the floor and Michelle was trying to get to him. "Michelle you really should be in bed, why won't you listen to your nurse?"  
  
"Because...Tony is having a really tough time at the moment and for once I am going to be here for him. All I wanted to do was go over to him and comfort him just like he has been doing for me all night. Tony went through everything last night as well. We are the only ones that went through it so we both know what each other needs or how we are feeling. I need to be the one who goes to Tony. Doctor, this is so much more important than how I am feeling right now. I am not listening to the nurse because she has been completely rude and insensitive to Tony. I don't need to put up with that and I am certainly not going to stand for her talking to Tony the way she has."  
  
Both Alex and Jessica felt so pleased and happy to see Michelle defending their son like that. It was very settling to them as parents to see just how much she really loved him. They felt without a doubt that Michelle was just perfect for Tony.  
  
Tony spoke up, "Chelle you are just the sweetest, but it's not worth all the trouble it's causing. I'll be right, just look after yourself and I'll come over to you when you have had your injection, ok?"  
  
"No, it's not ok Tony. This is what I am talking about. You have stood by my side through out everything, every time I just look like I am about to shed a tear or something you rush to my side, hold on to me as tight as you can and don't let go until you know I am feeling better. I know how upset you are Tony, I see the pain in your eyes and I am so worried about what you were saying before. It's so important to me that I can come to you and offer you my support."  
  
Dr Sims felt shivers up his spine. From all the moments he had witnessed of Michelle and Tony during the night he thought they truly had a special relationship. There was so much love, and they were just so good for each other. He knew that as long as these 2 had each other – they would get through all of this just fine. He walked over to Michelle and put his arm around her and began to lead her over to Tony. Everyone watched in silence as they started to make their way across the room – they were moving so incredibly slowly because Michelle was struggling so much. After just 4 steps she had to stop for a break. The pain was almost unbearable. Dr. Sims told the nurse to go and get the pain injection immediately. Because of the locations of all her injuries it would be too difficult to pick her up and carry her. He told her to wait until he could give her the injection before they continued.  
  
He walked over to Tony, crouched down and spoke in his ear so no one else could hear, "Are you ok Tony? Is there anything I can get or do for you?" Tony whispered back, "Thanks doc, you were right before – I really needed to talk. I just need Chelle. I feel so silly just sitting here when she is struggling so much, can't I just go to her?" Dr Sims nodded, "it is a matter of principle now to let her come to you. As hard as it is for her she wants to be able to come to you and offer you everything you have to her. I think it is important for you both that she can do this for you." He stood back up and waved for Alex and Jessica to come over to Tony while he went back to Michelle. He pulled over a chair and had her sit on it so that he could administer the injection.  
  
Alex and Jessica both got down next to Tony. Jessica put her hand on the side of her son's face. "You are going to get through this honey. I know how hard this is but you will both get through this."  
  
"This all hurts so much. Why does it have to be like this? I feel like I am falling apart."  
  
Alex squeezed his shoulder, "Tony its ok to break down – especially when you have someone like Michelle who wants more than anything to catch you. You have been through so much, and you need to talk it out son. If you do that, I promise it will begin to hurt less."  
  
Jessica walked over to Michelle who was just about ready to start making her way again. The injection was making its way through her body making her feel warm and finally giving her a break by easing the pain. Jessica spoke into her ear, "I admire you so much Michelle. I respect what you are doing to get to Tony and Alex and I thought it was just beautiful how you stood up for him. Thank you Chelle. Please know how much we are here for you."  
  
Michelle smiled at Jessica, "Thanks." Michelle giggled a little "I am getting there, very slowly but I am working on it – just hope he isn't asleep before I make it." They both let out a small laugh.  
  
Dr. Sims helped Michelle up and they began once again to make their way to Tony. She was a lot better this time around. Once they were only a couple steps away Alex and Jessica cleared the room to offer them privacy. Dr. Sims told them to call if they needed anything and then he too left – finally Michelle and Tony were alone.  
  
Tony looked up with a smile on his face and extended his hands out to Michelle. She smiled back at him and then took her finally step. She lowered her body and fell into his arms. She held him so tightly for a couple of minutes then she pulled back but cupped his face with both of her hands and kissed his forehead and nose. She ran her hands back through his hair.  
  
Michelle curled up and sat on his lap so she could put one arm right around his neck and use the other to touch his chest or face – this way she could look into his eyes as well. "Talk to me sweetheart. You said you felt guilty – what for? Tell me why you were so worried about being so strong?"  
  
Tony lowered his eyes. "Chelle I don't know how to deal with everything that happened. I feel like you should have left me after all this but because you haven't yet then this is my chance to make up for everything I let you down with. I just hate this, I hate it so much Chelle – things were just so perfect with us before all this happened, it's not fair......I don't want it to ruin us."  
  
"Hey, hey, to start with, there is no way I should have left you over all this and there is certainly no way I am going to. Remember how much I told you I love being in your arms?" Tony nodded and so she continued. "Things were perfect between us before but there is no way I am going to let this ruin us. I think we both need to realise and believe that we both love each other far too much to walk away – and neither of us are even thinking along those lines.....don't you think?"  
  
"Yeah, you're right. God I want you know and believe how much I love you and that I'm not going anywhere. Let's agree on that!"  
  
Michelle put her hand flat on his chest and began to rub it. "Baby we can learn to deal with all this together. I don't how to either."  
  
"It's different for me Chelle. I feel so guilty for what you have been through. I can't fathom how you could put your life on the line for me.....don't you understand that you are too important to do that...."  
  
"Tony, you are the most important person in the world to me. I mean you actually have a family - imagine what it would do to them if you were hurt."  
  
"Chelle my parents are hurting so much watching you go through this. You might not have the conventional family baby, but you certainly have people around you that love you so much. All of your friends, my parents think the world you and then there is me – I know I could never live without you – you are my princess."  
  
Michelle kissed the top of his head and rubbed his chest harder. Tony continued, "Watching my princess in so much pain for the sake of my own well-being is the hardest thing I have ever had to comprehend...." Tears rolled down his cheeks.  
  
Michelle started to wipe away his tears. "Aww Tony I'm going to be fine. I'll heal in no time....."  
  
Tony lifted her top to reveal her black stomach. "This is for me Chelle. LOOK at your stomach." He began to sob. He pulled her gown up to the stitches on her thigh. "And this – I mean you were so out cold you didn't even know you had been sliced with a knife. You can barely walk baby......all for me..."  
  
Michelle couldn't stand seeing and hearing Tony like this. She couldn't keep up with the tears rolling down his face. "Forget about it Tony, I don't care about any of this – you know I would take a million more of these marks for you my Tony..."  
  
"But you do care Chelle. Look how worried you were that I would be turned off by how you looked. You lost so much confidence. I feel so guilty when I have to sit and watch you blame yourself for the entire thing when really it was my fault. You are MY girl and it is MY responsibility to look after you, how could you ever forgive me for letting you down like that?"  
  
That was all so much for Michelle to take in, she didn't really know where to start. She hated those men so much for doing this to them. Tony's face was so puffy and red. His eyes were swollen and he looked so lost. She was fumbling to find words and the tears from her own eyes were making it harder and harder to see. Tony grabbed both of her shoulders and turned her body in towards him more. His voice had become desperate.  
  
"Chelle I am so sorry you got hurt, I am so sorry you are in pain. You know I love your whole body right? You know how sexy I find you and there is nothing ever that could turn me off you." Tony didn't give Michelle anytime to respond, he just kept going. "You know that I'll always do everything I can to keep you safe and look after you right? You know you can count on me to always be there for you. You have to know I'll never ever let anyone ever hurt you again. And that you are never going to lose me."  
  
Michelle put her fingers on his mouth to stop him. "STOP Tony, don't do this – please dear God don't do this." His body was shaking. He stopped talking but his mouth stayed open and he was breathing very heavily. "I know all those things sweetie. There all things I love about you – and I have never ever doubted how much I can count on you and how much you will always look after me. I promise I believe you when you say you are not turned off by me."  
  
"Because I am so in love with your body..."  
  
Michelle had to laugh a little and his face softened a little. She leaned in a little closer and spoke quietly, "that's right....you are in love with my body."  
  
"And because I get so turned on every time I just see you..."  
  
Tony's mouth was still hanging open and his breathing was still heavy. "So how turned on do you get when I do this?...." With his mouth open she stuck her tongue straight in to meet his. He responded passionately kissing her back and putting his hands behind her head and running them through her hair. Their heads tipped from side to side and they kept their lips wide trying to reach as much of each other as possible. Sometimes their tongues would meet and wrestle for a moment before their lips caught up. It was such a desperate kiss – they were both panting and moaning. In between kisses Michelle spoke to him, "all I need is you Tony."  
  
Tony stopped the second her heard this – that was exactly what he had needed to hear. He looked at her face which had now gone really red, especially around her mouth from his scratchy stubble. "You mean that?"  
  
She clung onto his chest as tight as she could. "Tony, I don't just want you, I need you. I need you so much." Tony smiled. This was so important to him. He had been desperately wishing that Michelle would need him. It was the best feeling in the world to feel needed. "That is the best thing you have said to me."  
  
"God Tony, I've felt that way for the longest time about you. Even before we got together.....The day of the bomb, when we kissed for the very first time – when I was in the hall way and you came down to me, I needed you so so much. After you had hugged me, it wasn't enough I needed more of you Tony. You are everything to me, I need you more than anything else in this world."  
  
He kissed her again, this time tenderly and slowly. "I feel the same way beautiful." Tony started to slowly get up, "Chelle wrap your legs around me and then put your arms around my neck." Tony was so strong he easily stood up taking Michelle's weight with him. Once up he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Does this hurt you honey?"  
  
"A little, but not nearly as much as walking."  
  
"Well I'll get you over there quick then." He very carefully walked straight over to her bed and then very gently lay her down. He kissed her before standing up again. "Does that feel better?"  
  
"Yes thanks, it's good to lie down. Are you tired Tony?"  
  
"Yeah, I think I have finally worn myself out. Michelle I really want you to sleep, you need too."  
  
Michelle wondered if this meant Tony was about to leave to go home to bed. She didn't want him to go. Tony was feeling the same way – he didn't want to leave her. There was no way he could sleep when he would be laying there wondering if she was ok or not.  
  
"Michelle....what if I was to sleep here with you?  
  
She tapped the bed, "I would love that – I might actually sleep then."  
  
Tony slid his shoes off and put his jacket over a chair. He climbed onto the bed and lay on his side, Michelle was on her back – they held hands and whispered sweet nothings to each other. Michelle was the first to fall asleep, Tony was right behind her. 


	20. a good day

Dr. Sims, Alex and Jessica decided to enter the room again, it had been over an hour now. As they walked in they saw Tony and Michelle sound asleep on the bed together. They were both laying flat on their backs right next to each other and they were holding hands. Jessica went over to them and gently laid a blanket across them before they all left them to sleep. Jessica and Alex decided they would go home too for some sleep, Dr. Sims promised the hospital would call them when Michelle and Tony woke up.

Tony woke up close to 5pm, he couldn't believe it – they had slept for the entire day. He turned to lie on his side so that he was facing Michelle. He stroked her arms and face gently with his fingers. It made him feel so warm inside to wake up next to her. He thought about everything they had been through over the last couple of weeks, it made him appreciate even more how lucky he was to still have her by his side. He knew that some people could be married for 50 years and still not go through half as much as they had in such a short time. Michelle and Tony had both been ripped raw emotionally and exposed to each other, revealing insecurities, fears and emotions that they both didn't even know they had. Tony couldn't believe how distraught he had become earlier in the morning, never in his life would he have imagined that he could be reduced into such a mess. He had been through many heartbreaking moments in his life but usually he prided himself on how in control he could remain, yet Michelle managed to pull on heartstrings he didn't even know he had. He loved that about her, she made him feel the extreme end of each emotion. He couldn't believe how something as simple as her touching his arm or chest made his heart rush, how when she was happy it made him feel so happy, when she hurt he felt sick – this woman now controlled his heart. Just thinking that made him smile, he kissed a bare patch on her shoulder that was not covered by her gown. He could lay there for ever just staring at her.

Tony began to wonder what would happen when Michelle was allowed to leave in a couple days. He couldn't imagine Michelle wanting to go back to his apartment that was the last place in the world he wanted to see as well. There would be too many bad memories there now and he doubted there was anything he could ever do that would make Michelle feel safe there again anyways. He didn't even want to go back there for even a few minutes to pick something up. Then there was Michelle's place, which was a studio apartment and far too small for the both of them. Tony was going to take at least a weeks leave from work to look after and care for Michelle, there was no way he was leaving her side.

Tony started to imagine what it would be like if he and Michelle had a place together. It was early days still but that didn't feel like that was even an issue at all. Even before all of this had happened they both wanted to spend every night together and they knew each other so closely from the last year or so at work that there wasn't going to be any weird surprises. Tony felt like he wanted to have a fresh start in his life after all the things that had happened lately and seeing as Michelle was his motivation for new found love for life it only made sense that they both got a new start together. Even just thinking of sharing a place with Michelle gave him tingles all over his body.

A nurse came in to administer an injection into Michelle's thigh. Tony gave her a nod and she smiled back. Michelle's body didn't even stir at all as the needle went in. Tony winced a little himself just watching. After the nurse left Tony started to run his hand up and down her good leg. He loved her legs, everything about them was perfect and they felt so good and sexy in his hands. He nudged his head into her neck and she stirred a little. He tightened his grip on her leg as he rubbed it and then nudged her again – this time she turned her head and kissed his forehead and raised the leg he was rubbing and bent it. He did two little nudges this time, he pushed his forehead and the top of his head into her neck and then he nudged her again straight away on the cheek. He ran his hand up above her knee and to the inside of her thigh and tightened his grip again. After he nudged her cheek she met his mouth with hers – it felt intense and fuelled with a need to taste each other. She rolled her body a tiny bit and lifted her leg and rested it on top of his body. His hand then moved from her inner thigh to the outside of her leg. He ran his hand up to her underwear and then he slipped it inside where he firmly gripped her back side. As he did this she upped the intensity of their kiss making him sit up more to lean over her body. After a few minutes they stopped kissing and Tony kept his face close to hers and took his hand from her leg and massaged the side of her face. "Hey beautiful."

Michelle looked at Tony's face which was just inches from hers. He looked so adorable and there was a real glow in his eyes. It had been days since he had shaved and his stubble was quite thick and scratchy – which she absolutely loved. She lifted her head a little and rubbed her cheek on his chin, making him giggle. She traced his lips were her thumb, "Wow.....you can wake me up like that anytime you want!"

"mmmm...I was just lying here watching you and I couldn't help myself."

"I am so glad you stayed here with me Tony. With you by my side I was totally able to sleep. Thank you."

"Honey, it allowed me to have a good sleep too – there was no way I could have slept without you."

Dr. Wez who had taken over for Dr. Sims came in to check up on Michelle. Tony shook his hand and introduced himself. Dr. Wez chatted to Tony for a few minutes basically filling them in on who had stopped in for a visit. Angie had come in last night but wasn't allowed to see Michelle so she would be back again tonight – she had let all of their friends know. Jack had informed everyone at CTU as well now. Dr. Wez then asked Tony if he could have a few minutes alone with Michelle. Tony said he would go and grab some coffee.

Tony drank his coffee outside the room waiting for the doctor to leave. Once he was gone he made his way back into Michelle. He had gotten her a huge hot chocolate which he new she loved. Michelle kissed him on the forehead and thanked him.

"Is everything ok Chelle? You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want too, I just want to make sure you are alright."

"Ummm, yeah I'm not really – well I am, sort of, I'll be ok, I don't know...." Michelle bit her bottom lip nervously.

"Hey, hey honey – it's ok, it's ok....I am here, come here." He pulled her in and wrapped himself around her for a hug. "Do you want to try again?"

Michelle took a deep breath. "I'm ok really, I just got thrown a little bit by a couple things he said."

"Do you want to talk about it Chelle?"

"I've been to this hospital quite a few times growing up and so they already have a file on me. They pulled Mom's file out as well because my next of kin to contact was her. I guess mum has been in over the last few years because he said all her information had been updated but mine hadn't since I was last in which was nearly 7 years ago." Michelle took a huge breath and Tony tucked a couple of her curls behind her ear. "Anyways, because my file said that then they called her and told her everything that had happened. Tony, she said she couldn't be bothered coming down and she didn't care to see me. She told them to take her name off my folder."

Tony had no idea what to say. He was completely floored by what Michelle had just told him. He kissed her cheek and forehead a few times, "I am so sorry Chelle, I am so so sorry. How long since you saw each other?"

Michelle didn't shed a tear. "About 5 years ago. It's ok really, I wouldn't expect any different from her – it's just a bit shit is all."

"How did things get so bad?"

"They were never good. My parents weren't anything like yours babe. After Dad left then mum just got stuck into drugs and before long was a heroin addict. She was never around and if she did show up for a day or two then it would always be with some new arsehole boyfriend."

"Who looked after you Michelle?"

"I took care of myself. I started working when I was 12. I don't know – I just got use to taking care of myself."

Tony massaged her cheek with his thumb. "You are incredible honey. Look at all the amazing things you have accomplished even after all of this. You should never have had to go through any of that – I am sorry. Tell me what I can do to help you feel better?"

"Nothing babe, just you being here is all I need. It wasn't just that, they want a couple new people to put on my contact list. They are suppose to be family, but I don't have anyone else to put on the list Tony.......I can't believe I have no one else."

"Sweetheart, that's ok – it doesn't have to be family. I want you to put my name down as the first contact."

Michelle gave Tony a weak smile. "Really.....you want me to put you down?"

Tony smiled and nodded his head. "Definitely Chelle, it should be me. And then what if you put either Angie or my parents down as your second contact.?

"Ok." The doctor walked back in, he had only left to pick up a few things. Dr Wez stood at the end of the bed, "Sorry to interrupt but I would like to check your stitches and change the bandages."

"Ok, hang on I am in the way." Tony got off the bed so the doctor could get to Michelle from his side. He pulled up a chair on the other side of Michelle and took her hand.

"Umm Dr. Wez....I just told Tony everything that you told me about my mom. Because I don't have any other family, I am going to put Tony down – is that ok?"

Dr. Wez looked at Tony and then Michelle and smiled. "I am glad you have Tony to talk to about all of this. It was an awkward situation but I had to tell you." He turned back to Tony, "Will you be caring for Michelle once she is discharged? Because I should show you how to do this (change the bandage) – you two live together right?"

Michelle answered for Tony. "No, actually I live on my own. I'm ok."

"Michelle you will need to be cared for after you leave for at least a week or so. I can't discharge you without a nominated carer. You won't be leaving for a few days yet anyway."

Tony kept holding her hand and stood up over her. "Chelle....I will be caring for you." He turned to Dr. Wez, "I will be looking after Michelle."

Michelle traced his hand. "You can't babe, you will be at work. Plus there is not much room in my stupid studio."

"Chelle....I'm not going back to work until you are better...."

Michelle interrupted him, "you can't do that, and no way will they let you. I don't want you to get into trouble Tony."

"I'm not going to get into trouble. Michelle, I haven't had one day off including sick days for years. I'm owed my annual 4 weeks break for the last 3 years now. Trust me, Chappelle is always trying to push me to take them so they don't have to pay me out – there will be no problem for me to take the next 2-3 weeks to look after you."

Michelle looked relieved and smiled. "Wow.....I can't believe we will actually have lots of time together. I know it's not exactly a holiday, but thanks Tony I'll feel so much better with you with me."

A nurse came in and called the doctor for an emergency, he excused himself and said he would be back as soon as he could.

Tony pulled himself in a little closer to Michelle and then began to run his hand through her hair. He felt so nervous for what he was going to suggest, but figured it was the perfect time to do it. "Ummm, Chelle....Sweetie, I am pretty sure I know the answer but how do you feel about my apartment?"

Michelle didn't know what to say – she didn't want to hurt his feelings but the thought of having to go back there would freak her out. She bit her bottom lip. "I...ummm, well ummmm, God don't hate me for saying this Tony but I'd be kinda scared to go back there at the moment. I'm sorry."

Tony leaned down and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "It's ok Chelle, I feel the same way – I just wanted to check. It would be too hard to be there and not be reminded of what happened. Then there is your place, but it's pretty small for me to be there with you too."

"What are we going to do Tony? I hadn't thought about all this. I mean, far out – we are in trouble!! I know this is all because of me but please don't make me stay at my place by myself."

"Hey hey sweetie relax, it's going to be ok. It isn't all because of you Chelle and I'd never make you stay at your place by yourself, I wouldn't do that – I don't want to be at my place either. I do have an idea, something I have been thinking about a little bit."

Michelle was instantly intrigued. "Tell me, tell me."

Tony took both of her hands and held them in his. He could feel his heart start to race and his face felt like it was going red. The last thing in the world he could handle right now would be a rejection from Michelle. He gave her a smile, cleared his throat and began...

"Well....what if you and I were to get a new place together? That takes care of the apartment problem and also it would mean I got to wake up next to you every morning." Tony kept talking almost as if he didn't want to stop so she could say no. "I know its quick Chelle but things are different with us. We have been best friends for over a year and now that we are finally together things between us couldn't be better. I mean, we haven't wanted to spend any time apart at all. We could just rent and if you were ever unhappy it would be easy for you to go your own way...."

Michelle cut him off, "You want to live with me? Is it because you want too or because you can't think of another solution for right now?"

Tony lowered his eyes, it felt like a rejection was coming. "No Chelle I want to live with you because I love you, I want to start a new life with you...."

Michelle's heart did a flip when he said that. She wondered how she had become so lucky as to end up with Tony. Tears started flowing.

Tony felt ashamed, he had made her cry again – already. He felt so stupid for putting his foot in it. "Oh my God I am so sorry. Just forget I said anything...please don't cry..."

"Tony they are happy tears."

"Happy tears? What?"

"Tony – I would love to live with you – LOVE TOO!! I want a new life with you, I want to go to sleep every night in your arms."

Michelle forgot about her injuries for a moment in the excitement and threw her arms around his neck and then buried her head just under his ear. She squeezed so tightly and then that's when she felt a vicious pain shoot through her stomach and chest making her yelp in pain. She couldn't move her body at all because she was so fearful of the pain. Tony pulled his head back, "What's wrong, what's wrong – where does it hurt?"

Michelle felt like she was winded and could barely speak. She curled her fists into a tiny ball and held them so tight. "My stomach, my chest – it hurts....ahhh Tony it hurts."

Tony felt her entire body tense up. He put one hand behind her back and with the other one he started to pull her hands from his body so that he could lay her back on the bed. Michelle resisted his hand, "don't move me, I can't move, it will hurt too much."

"Chelle I need to lay you back on the bed." Tony softly rubbed his hand in a circle on her back to soothe her.

"I can't, I'm not being a wimp – I promise, it'll just hurt too much."

Tony had to smile at her comment. "I don't think you are a wimp sweetheart. Now I have to move you Chelle because it's not going to help staying like this and I know you will be better lying down. We have to do this – I'll be so gentle with you." Before she had a chance to respond he moved her arms out and started lowering her whilst supporting her by her back. He saw that he eyes were shut extremely tight, she was biting her lower lip roughly and her fists were still all clenched up. "You're doing good baby – almost there." It made him physically hurt to see her in so much pain.

Once he had her back on the bed properly he pressed the emergency nurse button. Her eyes were still closed, she was still biting her lip and her fists stayed the same. Her entire body was really tight and stiff. "You did it sweetie. I've called for the nurse." Michelle just nodded her head in response.

A nurse came rushing in asking what was wrong. Tony explained that Michelle had gotten a little over excited forgetting about her injuries and had sat up quickly throwing her arms around him. He explained how much pain she was in and how hard it was to be able to move her back onto her bed.

The nurse walked to the opposite side of the bed that Tony was on and told Michelle she would be ok, that she was going to give her something for the pain that would help straight away. She started checking her pulse. Tony started stroking her forehead and then back through her hair. He looked down and saw Michelle finally open her mouth a little and stop biting her lip. Blood started pouring out immediately and running down her chin. Tony was horrified. "You are bleeding!" He looked at the nurse, "Why is she bleeding? What the hell is going on?" He had started wiping the blood from her chin in a panic. The nurse opened her mouth and started looking to see where the blood was coming from. Michelle's eyes had opened a tiny bit but barely enough to really see anything properly. The nurse found the problem "You have bitten the inside of your mouth on the gums just below your lip." She looked at Tony, "it's very deep, she must have bitten so hard."

Tony had a look himself. He actually felt a little relieved at what it was, he was having horrible visions of why blood had started coming out of her mouth and none of them were very nice – bleeding from the mouth was never a good sign. "She clamped her mouth shut when the pain started, it looked like she was biting her lip which she does when she is nervous or upset. My poor Chelle, you really must be in so much pain." The nurse left the room. He stroked her forehead again and gave her a wink – she was looking at him a little. Her body was still all closed up tight, she opened her mouth to talk, "Tony..."

"Sshh baby, it's ok." Tony knew that sometimes when you were in so much pain you just wanted to be left alone and not move in the slightest – the last thing you felt like doing was trying to talk because usually you feel so winded and your airways become so tight and restricted. "You just lay there sweetie, the nurse will be back any second to give you something. Don't worry about talking if you don't want to – I understand."

Michelle nodded her head slightly and closed her mouth again looking somewhat relieved. The nurse walked back in and walked straight to Michelle. She pulled the blankets down and then lifted up her gown to the top of her thigh. "Michelle I am going to give you a needle now. It is simular to the other pain injections you have been having except that it is almost twice as strong. Your body will become warm and feel flushed for a couple minutes but it will start working immediately – you will begin to feel better in just a couple minutes." Michelle forced a little smile and nodded her head. The nurse gave her the needle, wiped her face and stuck a little bit of gauze in between her teeth and gum. She then signalled for Tony to move down the bed a little.

Tony took Michelle's hand in his and stepped down closer to the nurse. She leaned in to Tony and lowered her voice a little.

"This will make Michelle very spaced out and drowsy for a few hours. You will find her quite relaxed – it will be like she has had a few drinks! She will feel quite good pain wise so I need you to make sure she stays really calm and doesn't try and do anything she shouldn't do. She needs to drink a lot of water."

After the nurse had left Tony sat next to Michelle holding her hand. Her body had already started to relax, her other fist was now open. They sat like that for another 10 minutes before Michelle opened her eyes fully and turned to Tony. "Well....hello there!!" She almost startled him with her chirpy upbeat tone. He stood up and leaned over her.

"This is better – look at you smiling again for me."

"I know.....look at me!!"

Tony laughed out loud at Michelle. "You have got to be more careful babe, I don't want to see you have to go through that again."

"I will. I can't believe I bit my lip – I'm such a geek, that hurt so bad."

Tony smiled, "that's right....you are a geek, but you are my geek."

"Thanks Tony dude for putting me back on the bed. That was a horrible last half hour that I never ever want to repeat.....but I feel kinda good now dude, that needle totally kicks ass!!"

"Wow, I don't think I have ever heard you call me 'dude' before. You are too cute."

Michelle ran her hand up Tony's arm. "TONY – do you understand just how sexy you are? Tony, I am very serious – you are just so damn adorable. I find you very nice to look at."

Tony felt so good. Michelle was very funny when she was drugged up. Her last comment totally bought a smile to his face and made him feel like the luckiest guy in the world. He had to kiss her. He leant his head down drawing himself closer to Michelle. He cupped her face with his hand. He opened his mouth and pushed his tongue to his lips. He closed his eyes when they were just a couple inches apart. He felt just her tongue ever so slightly brush over his lips. Something so simple just drove him crazy. She went over his lips again, he pushed his tongue out of his mouth to meet with hers. Their lips were not far behind. Their tongues circled each other and then after a few moments their lips met and they kissed tenderly. Tony tried to be very careful of her cut, which was easy seeing as it was protected by her teeth. After kissing for a little bit, Tony closed his lips around her tongue and sucked on it. He released her and then after they had kissed again he pushed his tongue, almost begging for her to do the same to him. She trapped his tongue and he went weak at the knees when she sucked his tongue and then circled it with her own before releasing it. She let out a groan and he kissed her even harder. She raised her head a little off the bed giving her more strength to kiss him back harder. They both were getting frustrated not being able to take things any further. Tony wished he could cover her body with his own. They couldn't do much more than this right now though so all of their desires poured into their kiss making it more and more intense. It almost became rough but they didn't care they just needed to be as close to one another as possible. Their breathing became desperate. Michelle pulled apart to talk to him, she had to speak over his panting. "Tony I want all of you, I wish I could have your body against mine."

"I'm going crazy just thinking of all the things I want to do to you Chelle."

Their faces remained inches apart. Tony put her bottom lip in his mouth and pulled on it in a fast desperate action to taste her again.

"What do you want to do to me my Almeida?"

"How I am feeling right now - I'd rip your clothes off, push you down onto the bed and then crawl on top of you, pinning your arms above your head." Michelle let out a provocative sigh. "I'd kiss and suck you everywhere starting at your neck and then making my way down your whole body, I wouldn't miss a spot and then I'd take my hands and let them explore all of you." He had her complete attention. "Tony...." She kissed his chin and then did it again when she felt his stubble – she just loved it when he was a little unshaven. "I would pull your body up so that you were sitting and I'd have you help me remove my clothes. I'd have you undo the buttons on my shirt while I watched and then you would take off my belt and undo my pants before pulling them and my boxers off. I'd lay you back down again and you would pull me down with you. Our bare bodies would be pressed into each other and I'd kiss you passionately. When we both couldn't stand it anymore I'd lift your legs and have you wrap them around my body before I pushed myself inside of you. I'd make love to you all night long Chelle."

Michelle traced her lips with her tongue and massaged his cheeks with her thumbs. "That just sounds so perfect. I've got tingles all through my body. My Tony, if only you knew how amazing I feel when you touch me. I'd give anything to be able to let you do all of what you wanted."

They were both snapped back to reality by one of the machines by Michelle's bed starting to beep. Tony saw it was just a battery low so he plugged the machine into the power point on the wall. He turned back to Chelle.

"Are we really going to live together?"

Michelle was nodding her head, "Yup, if that's really what you want, I know how happy I'd be." She smiled the biggest smile Tony had ever seen, so that her mouth was completely open and her eyes looked like they were popping out of her head, she looked really funny.

"What on earth are you doing Chelle?"

"Tony – I was showing you how happy I would be."

He had to laugh. Even if it was because she was drugged up he was loving seeing her happy again, she was a lot like her normal giddy self. Michelle had always been able to make Tony laugh. He could think of numerous meetings where they would both be painfully bored listening to Chappelle babble and Michelle would start pulling faces behind his back, a couple times she had been even more daring and began flicking things at Tony. Chappelle would then get frustrated and keep asking Tony why he was laughing and Michelle would just sit back all innocent like. She had a huge cheeky streak that he just loved so much.

"Chelle you would make me the happiest, most lucky guy on the planet if we lived together."

"Where are we going to live? What sort of place? When can we do this – soon right? Can we get a new TV?"

Tony got back onto the bed and lay on his side facing Michelle. "We can live anywhere babe – I think something in the areas we already are is pretty nice and convenient to most things. What do you think....how about like a top apartment in one of those new complexes with the gyms and pools and everything. I am pretty sure you can get like 2-3 bedroom ones...."

"Tony that sounds so awesome. I'd love one of those places – they are so new and modern and they have all that stuff you can use, plus they have the best security and underground parking."

"I love the idea of that as well, and we would have no problem getting into one of those immediately, I drive past the one on Drover Street all the time and it always has heaps listed for rent or to buy. Sweetheart, I'll buy you any TV you want. Our place is going to only have things in it that we really want."

Michelle couldn't stop smiling. She was playing with Tony's hand. "I am so excited Tony. When can we do this? What about the time when I first get out of hospital, what will we do then?"

"Chelle it is completely up to you. Would you want me to look into them in the morning? If there is time in between or anything then we will stay at a hotel until we are ready."

"Yeah Tony check out that place in the morning – see if you like it."

"I can get all the info, wouldn't you want to see it as well though?"

"That doesn't really worrying me. If it were houses or something that would be different but I already know these are brand new apartments so they have got to be nice. I'm sure if you liked it, then I'd be happy."

"Ok – I go down in the morning while you are having a sleep or something. Chelle, the last few years have been so....well miserable and hard. All I want to do is leave them behind me and have a completely new fresh start. You are my future now Chelle and I can't think of anything better than us getting a whole new place and starting over together."

"Tony, I couldn't have said it better myself. I've never had anyone in my life that means as much to me as you have come to. I've always felt like there was something missing, yet with you I feel complete – I love this feeling."

They kissed tenderly until they were interrupted by a noise at the door. Tony spun around to see his parents walking in. They came straight over and gave Tony a huge hug. And then lent over and gave Michelle a kiss on the forehead.

"You both look a little bit better than last time we were in, did you have a good sleep?" Jessica had bought in flowers and put them up on the ledge while she spoke.

"We are so much better – Tony slept forever, he is such a sleepyhead!! Then Tony got me this great needle that has made me feel so good."

Jessica and Alex smiled but looked a little confused. Tony was laughing and had to pull himself together a bit so he could explain. First he looked and spoke to Michelle, "Oh I am the sleepyhead am I?......that's funny because I remember waking you up!" Then he stroked Michelle's forehead as he turned to his parents, "We had a really high amount of pain and so they gave Michelle a very powerful injection. She feels a lot better pain wise and it is a lot like she has been drinking! Let's just say she has been very entertaining!"

Alex grabbed one of the bags he had come in with. "That's fantastic, so much better this way, plus we are always up for a good laugh. We bought you guys in some pizza – we figured you probably hadn't eaten since dinner at our house. Hospital food isn't always the best." He put the pizzas on the tray table and then pulled out some beers from his bag and handed one to Tony.

"Beer and pizza, you guys have out done yourselves – how good is this! Just smelling that I can't believe how hungry I am."

Jessica helped put the back of Michelle's bed up and then put a slice on a napkin for her. Michelle's eyes widened as she took the pizza. "Thank you. I love pizza. Seriously.....I really enjoy eating pizza and I am so very hungry."

The four of them all sat around chatting, making their way through both boxes. When Alex and Tony opened their second beers Tony decided this was a good time to tell his parents their news.

"Mum, Dad – Michelle and I have some exciting news for you. We have been talking because neither one of us felt comfortable going back to my apartment again and Michelle has a small studio set-up and there is no room at all for a second person. So we were at a loss as to what we were going to do next. We decided what we would really like is to get a new place together."

Both Jessica and Alex smiled and then Alex clinked his beer with Tony's. "What a good idea, a fresh start for both of you. Any idea's where or when?"

"Do you know that new apartment complex on Dover sty?"

Alex and Jessica nodded their heads and so did Michelle.

"We both love the idea of getting one of those places. There are lots available still. I am going to go down there in the morning and check it all out. Ideally we want something straight away."

"That is really exciting. We would love to help you with the move. Do you have all the furniture and everything you need?"

They hadn't discussed this yet so Tony looked over at Michelle to see what she thought but her eyes were closed – she had completely just fallen asleep in a matter of seconds, her hand was still gripped tightly around her pizza but she had lowered it so it was resting on her chest. She looked adorable. Tony took the pizza out of her hand and then wiped it clean with a napkin. He lowered her bed a little and pulled her blankets back over her. He sat back in one of the chairs.

"I can't believe how strong that stuff must be – it was so good to have her smiling and laughing again. Anyways, I think between both of us we will have most things – we might want to buy some new things together."

There was another knock at the door and then it opened and Angie followed by a couple more of Michelle's friends walked in. Before they had even made it across the room Jack and Ryan Chappelle also walked in. Tony jumped up and began introducing everybody. The room was packed and Michelle was still completely out of it. Michelle's girlfriends started crying when they saw her, they were very shocked at the injuries they could see. Tony and Jack put their arms around the girls and led them to the other side of the room. Angie started talking but her breathing was all over the place and she had to keep wiping away the tears.

"We came last night but they wouldn't let us in to see her - they said she wasn't ready but then they wouldn't even tell us what had happened. What's wrong with her Tony, what's going on?"

Jack started explaining to save Tony having to go through it all again. He kept his tone very calm to try and soothe them. As Jack told them the story they all interrupted him many times over to ask questions.

Chappelle was in conversation with Alex and Jessica. He had never met Tony's family before and was glad he had this chance. Alex and Jessica bought him up to speed on everything.

The room was bustling and so loud full of people who cared so much for Michelle, yet she continued to sleep through it.


	21. a bad night

Tony excused himself from Jack and the girls and then asked Chappelle for a word in private. They stepped outside the room. Tony never knew how he felt about this guy. One day he would act like a total prick and then the next he would just be normal and nice. Chappelle had such a thing for division and loved dangling his power over everyone else's heads. Since the bomb though Chappelle was everyone's best friend because of how well CTU handled the situation. Once outside Chappelle put a hand on Tony's shoulder. Tony just about fell over, this was the first time they had ever had any form of physical contact.

"Thanks for coming in, hopefully Chelle wakes in minute so she can see you."

"Tony, I am just so sorry for what has happened, I can't believe what you guys have had to go through."

"Thanks, it certainly has been a really rough time."

Chappelle was shaking his head as he spoke. "How is Michelle going? What is the extent of her injuries?"

It made Tony felt so sad even having to explain this stuff. He had been trying to keep his mind busy on everything else so he didn't think about that night – images of the man with his hands over Michelle kept flying through his head. Talking about Michelle's injuries wasn't much better, it was hard enough having to just see her lying there like that. "Things are really tough at the moment. She has such deep internal bruises that moving around is extremely painful. Just before, she moved to fast and the pain was so bad her entire body tensed up, she couldn't open her eyes and she bit her mouth so hard it started bleeding. That's why they gave her such a strong dose. I know its early days still but I just can't stand seeing her go through all this. There are just so many things we will have to deal with from all of this but I want to wait until she is a lot stronger."

"That's a good idea, no need to force issue's that she is not ready to deal with yet. Did I hear right that Michelle was actually stabbed?"

"Yes she was, in her thigh. They knocked her out cold and continued to hit and kick her. They must have done it then because none of us knew until we were actually at the hospital. I am so grateful Jack was able to come and help us."

"Bauer is not one to let his best friend down. Those bastards will pay for this. I wanted to tell you that we can process and charge them through division as their attack was against 2 federal agents. We can make sure they get the maximum time."

Tony felt good hearing Chappelle say that he was Jack's best friend. It was nice to know someone else noticed the bond that had formed through their personal experiences with Nina and at the office they were the only 2 that trusted each other completely.

"Take them in and bring them down for me Chappelle. It would be best if all of this could be done without either Michelle or I having to see them again."

"I'll do my best Almeida."

"Ryan, there was something else I needed to talk to you about. Obviously it's going to be awhile before Michelle is back at work – is there anything I need to do about that? Also, I would like to take some of my days owed to me now if that's ok."

"I'll get some forms to you to fill out for Michelle that just outlines her absence from work – I'll take care of everything else. Obviously Michelle can take as much time as she needs, I have already bought in a sub from division. I had already figured Almeida that you would need time off too – after all Tony, you went through all of this as well. Physically your fine but I am sure you have a lot to work through. You are actually owed close to 6 months leave from the last 5 years – you know we would rather you use the time then us having to pay you out for it. Take what you want, just keep me in the loop about what is going on, I'll bring in Troy from Division to replace you."

Tony couldn't believe how cool Chappelle was being. "Thank you so much, it is a relief to know we can just concentrate on getting through this. We are actually going to move into a new place as soon as possible – not interested in going back to my apartment and its good I can take care of that. I was thinking I'd be like 4-5 weeks, but I will keep you posted as things progress."

They joined everyone else back in the room again. Michelle had woken up already and was still as high as a kite. Angie, Sarah and Jo were huddled around her.

"It must have been so scary.....What were you thinking while it was happening? What's going to happen to the guys? The police caught them right?"

Michelle's eyes felt heavy but her brain felt wired to go. It felt like everything around her was going in slow motion and people's voices sounded a little bit strange. She felt like saying every single thought that popped into her head. She was having trouble working out which things she should say out loud and which things should just be kept as thoughts – whatever popped into her head seemed to dribble straight out her mouth. Looking around the room Michelle felt surprised to see so many faces, especially to see Chappelle. She felt comforted having And, Jo and Sarah with her – they were her best friends and she really needed them. She didn't want to answer these questions though, she didn't want to think about it.

"Nah....don't worry about all that – I have nothing to say. How are you guys?"

Jack and Tony shot each other a look, they were both a little concerned with Michelle's answer.

Sarah pressed the issue. "We are worried Chelle, you scared the hell out of us – we need to know how you are really doing – please talk to us."

"I...I....I can't, I don't know how to." Even as Michelle said just that, an image of the man holding a gun at Tony flashed through her mind, then the man punched him. She felt her whole body tense up and she started grinding her teeth. She didn't know how to make it disappear – she forced her eyes to open wide and search for Tony. He was talking to Jack and Chappelle – Michelle just tried to keep repeating to herself over and over 'he's ok, he's ok'.

Her friends could see her body was shaking, they put it down to her being nervous about discussing it. Jo took Michelle's hand. "Chelle that's ok, we understand how hard this must be for you. We are your best friends and we want to help you get through this. We will do anything in the world for you babe, you just name it. But you need to talk about it, you can't bottle this stuff up – you know you can tell us anything."

Jack had been watching Michelle out of the corner of his eye as he was chatting to Tony and Chappelle. He had heard some of what had been said and he could see Michelle's body become tense. He broke the conversation with the guys. "Tony, Chelle seems to be a little stressed out. Her body is tense and I'm not sure but it looks like she is shaking." The 3 of them all watched and listened to what was going on.

Michelle's head felt it was going to explode. She was trying to sort through her thoughts before they came out of her mouth but she was struggling and it wasn't working very well. She felt so frustrated – didn't they understand that she was having a hard enough time putting sentences together as it was, that she couldn't talk about this while she was feeling this way? Her eyes were tired and it was an effort just trying to concentrate on what was going on in the room. To top it all off – she didn't want to talk about it anyway, she didn't even want to think about it. Didn't they know how much it freaked her out? She tried to come up with an answer that would end the conversation.

"I know I can tell you anything but I truly don't have anything to say. Totally nothing at all. I am having trouble trying to figure out what I should be saying to keep everyone happy. I'm asking really nicely – can we please drop this now?"

"Chelle, you don't need to keep anyone happy. We know you, you are putting barriers up because you are upset. What were you thinking while it was happening?"

Michelle pictured the man making her stand up. She remembered how much trouble she had trying to get her legs to support her. She felt so out of it, she wasn't sure if she was going to die or not, she could hear Tony fighting with the other one but didn't know what was happening. Her feet curled up and she could feel tears were on the way so she covered her eyes with her hands. Michelle didn't see Jack, Chappelle and Tony approach the bed.

"Why are you doing this to me? Why won't you listen to me? You know what....maybe it's a good thing if I have barriers up. There is no point talking about it, it's not like it will change anything. You are making me picture things I don't want too, that is so unfair – stop messing with me."

She felt someone touch her hand, it surprised her and she didn't want to have to open her eyes and look at anyone. She turned her head and hands to get away from which ever girl it was trying to make her take her hands away from her face. She was shaking so much that she tried to push her body and head as hard as she could into the bed to try and make it stop.

Tony had been the one who had touched Michelle's hand, and it freaked him out when she pulled away from him. Her body was shaking almost as violently as it had been just after she had been bought into the hospital. He reached for her arm but as soon as he touched it she yanked away again. He looked at Jack and Chappelle and then the girls – they also looked extremely upset. Angie started talking as soon as she saw Tony look at her.

"We are so sorry. Chelle we didn't mean to upset you, we are so sorry. We don't know what to do. We haven't handled this very well. I am so sorry, we love you so much."

Jack turned to the girls. "It's ok, it's ok. I don't think any of us really know how to handle this. It's so helpful that you came in, and I know Chelle knows how much you love her."

Tony lent in closer to Michelle. "Sweetheart, it's me. Will you take your hands away?"

"No."

Tony was shocked. "Come on baby, you are shaking, it's ok – give me your hand."

"Please don't make me Tony. I don't want to talk about it. Nobody wants to see me crying. Angie, Jo, and Sare – I love you guys too. It's ok – trust me."

Jack motioned for all the girls to follow him out of the room. They bumped into Alex and Jessica who were on their way back from having coffee. "Girls, I know this is hard. Michelle isn't ready to talk openly about any of this yet. I know her and Tony have talked which is excellent because they both understand exactly how the other one feels. You didn't do anything wrong, you just need to give it all some more time."

Alex, Jack and Jessica all stayed talking to the girls for a few minutes.

Chappelle looked at Tony who looked frantic over what he should do. Michelle seemed to be getting worse by the minute – her body was moving all over the place from the shaking.

Tony tried again. "Jack took the girls outside, it's just me and Ryan now. We are not going to make you talk about anything – you don't need to say a word sweetie. I just want to give you a hug is all. Can I get up on the bed with you?"

Tony held his breath while he waited for her reply. She nodded her head. Tony and Chappelle looked at each other and smiled with relief. Tony got on the bed and shuffled his body up the bed. He was on his side and as he put his hand out and touched her arm she all of a sudden dropped her hands and threw her arms around his neck burying her head into his shoulder. Tony put his arm around her head and held her tightly. "It's ok, I'm here, I'm here."

When Michelle had turned her body a little bit in towards Tony her gown had moved across her body revealing a small part of her stomach. Chappelle was horrified to see the deep black bruise. Although he knew she had shocking bruising, he hadn't expected it to look that bad. He felt a little awkward to do so but he moved her gown back down and then pulled the blanket up over her.

Even with the blanket over most of her body you could still see how much she was moving. Tony asked Ryan if he could stand at the end of the bed and hold her ankles to see if they would stop moving. He kissed her on the head a couple times. "Chelle, your body is shaking so much and you are so tense – what can we do to stop it? How bad is your pain?"

Michelle pulled her head out of his shoulder and put her head back onto the pillow. "I don't know, I don't know how to make it stop. It's making my body hurt even more."

"We will get a nurse. Can you try and relax a little bit sweetie? You are safe with me - what do you keep thinking about? Share it with me honey."

"When the guy was making me stand up but I couldn't and he kept yelling at me and then he picked me up and forced me to stand. I didn't know how to get my legs to support me anymore. I could hear you fighting with the other one but I couldn't see you and I didn't know if you were ok. Tony, when they had a gun at your head and punched you, I just wanted to be able to go to you. I can't stop picturing them pointing the gun at you. God Ryan, I am so sorry you have to see me like this, sorry."

Tony pushed for a nurse and let Chappelle speak first. He also need a second to pull himself together, after hearing Michelle say that he could feel tears in his own eyes. Jack came back in with Tony's parents and they headed over to the bed.

Chappelle rubbed Michelle's arm. "Please don't even think that Michelle. I am just so sorry this has happened. I want to do anything I can to help, I am here for you both."

Tony took a couple deep breaths, he was worried if he opened his mouth to talk he would cry. He took her fist and unclenched her fingers with force, then he put his leg across hers pushing them down trying to stop the shaking. He looked around at everyone watching him, no one said a word. Tony looked back at Michelle who had tears still running down her cheeks, his bottom lip started to quiver – he kept trying to push his lips together to stop it but it wasn't working. He saw that she had clenched her fist again so he reached for it. Seeing as he couldn't speak yet he had to do something to try and calm his nerves. All he could picture was Michelle on the ground and them kicking and punching her. He felt the anger flowing through his body, he wished he could just have 5 minutes alone with the 2 men. His own body tensed up and he began trying to unclench her fingers again. She was keeping it closed tight though and so he started getting rougher and rougher. He couldn't hold the tears any longer and they began to roll down his cheeks and onto Michelle.

Everyone watched but was unsure of what to do. They knew it was important that they both express their emotions and what they were feeling instead of keeping it bottled up. The nurse came in with the doctor and they stood next to Jack to see what was happening for a minute. The more worked up Tony was getting the rougher he was with Michelle. They all began to worry he was hurting her so Alex went to Tony and very gently put his hand over his sons to give him the message to stop what he was doing. It worked, Tony looked at his Dad and then back at Michelle and then he really began to cry. He was loudly sobbing making noises from the back of his throat and sniffing. Tony's cries filled the room and every body's heart broke. The doctor ordered the nurse to go and get some injections for him.

Tony didn't know how to direct his hurt and anger. The more upset he became the more images from that night seemed to run through his head. Before he even realised what he was doing he had begun to direct everything at Michelle. Through his cries he started yelling, his voice broken with sobs.

"You have to stop shaking! I want you to stop shaking!" He pushed his leg down on hers even harder then he took both of her arms and put her right one under his body so he was lying on it and then he used his hand to pin her left hand to the bed.

Tony wasn't hurting Michelle but he was upsetting her. She had never seen Tony cry so loudly before and he was distraught – for the first time he seemed like he was not in control. Everything had overwhelmed him. Even though she couldn't move her arms and legs her body still shook, her muscles were so tight it hurt and the tears wouldn't stop. She tried to talk to him.

"I can't Tony, I don't know how too. It's ok Tony, we are both ok"

"I see him kicking and punching you and then making you hold your body up. I don't want you to hurt anymore." He turned his head the other direction to face everyone else and screamed, "How do I make the pain go away?" He put his hand to Michelle's face and started wiping away her tears, "Don't cry, don't cry."

He then ran his hand up and down her arm and then tried to pin it again. She pulled her hand away from his grasp and pushed him on the chest, "Stop Tony, don't do this."

He put his hand firmly on her shoulder. "I don't want to think it anymore, I don't want you to think it anymore. I can't get the look of pain and fear you had in your eyes out of my head." He kissed her eyes and she could feel his tears dripping onto her face.

Jessica and Alex couldn't just stand back watching their son in so much pain. They walked over to Michelle's side of the bed so that they would be in front of him. Tony tried to grab her hand again but she pulled away, he tried again but she pushed him on the chest with it. He is so much bigger and stronger than Michelle that his body didn't even move when she pushed him, he grabbed at her wrist successfully and held it back down on the bed. "It's ok, it's ok – I'll keep your body still."

Michelle cried harder. "Tony, I love you – I love you so much. Stop worrying about me so much, what about you? It doesn't have to be this way, lie down and put your head on the pillow – let me hold you too Tony."

Jessica put her hand on Tony's shoulder which was close because he was leant so far over Michelle holding her. "Tony, we are all here to help you through this. It's good that you are opening up but we really need you to relax?

"Relax? How the hell am I suppose to relax? Could any of you relax when the person you love is in hospital in this much pain. That they are so scared that every time it is brought up they violently shake, their body becomes so stiff they can barely move and you are watching tears take over their face. But wait, that's not all......what if every time you closed your eyes all you could see was the person you love being kicked and punched. Even when they are unconscious on the ground the beating doesn't stop and you can't do anything about it. They are holding a knife in her face and you really don't know if she is going to even make it. So tell me, would you be able to relax?"

Everyone's heart sank. After hearing that it made everyone wonder how Tony and Michelle had even made it this far. Jack walked over behind Tony. He put his arm Tony's chest and held on to his arm with his other hand. "Come on buddy." He pulled Tony's body back from Michelle so that he was on the side of the bed. Tony didn't even struggle, he almost just collapsed into Jacks arms. As Jack lay him down Michelle turned her body as much as she could in towards Tony, she put her hand on his cheek. He picked his head up and buried it into her shoulder and neck. Jessica came around and rubbed his shoulder, "It will get easier, I promise. We are all going to help you both every step of the way. We love you so much."

The nurse came back in and handed the doctor a tub of injections. He motioned for Alex and Jessica to come over to him.

Michelle could feel her neck and shoulder getting really wet. She spoke softly to Tony, "Honey...." He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. Their faces were inches apart. "You know what Tony.....you and I are going to get through this, I promise you that. It's so hard sweetie, but like your mom said, it will get easier. I am glad you are crying because you need to get all this out just as much as me – you keep being so strong and looking after me but you need someone to hold you too."

"Sometimes I think I am ok and then out of no where it all hits me and it feels like my whole world falls down around me. I do need you Chelle. I just want you to be ok, I feel so useless."

"You have already done more for me Tony then anyone has in my entire life. I am ok because I have you – but I need you to be ok too."

Tony buried his head back into her shoulder and neck and they held each other as tight as possible.

The doctor was explaining what he wanted to do to Alex and Jessica. "I would like to sedate both Tony and Michelle. It will calm them both down and then make them sleep through the rest of the night. It will give them a break and escape from all the pain they are feeling. It will also relax both of their muscles which is very important, and it will stop Michelle shaking. The sleep will do them both good."

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. Alex spoke, "Good Idea. I've never seen Tony so distraught before. They will never sleep otherwise."

The doctor walked over to the bed, "Tony, Michelle?" They both looked up and gave him their attention. "I am going to give you both a needle to help you calm down and sleep. You will feel better within minutes and it will help you get through the night."

"Doctor, will it help my pain?"

"This one won't Michelle, but I will be giving you another one at the same time for pain – just like you had before."

Michelle nodded her head but Tony wasn't as convinced. "I'm not having one."

"I strongly advise you do Tony. You have been distraught and this will help you."

"I'm not having it, no way."

"Tony, you need it...."

"Why? Because I am upset? I thought it was ok for me to be upset."

Jack and Chappelle walked over.

Jack jumped in for the doctor. "Of course you can be upset, everything you are feeling is completely normal. But Tony, I have never seen you so worked up before, you have been completely distraught and you need to have this help you through the night."

"I'm sorry about everything, sorry I yelled..." He turned and looked at Michelle, "I'm sorry I grabbed your hands and kept trying to hold you down.....I was just trying to stop the shaking – I wanted to be able to control what was happening and I was going crazy knowing you were shaking because you were so scared. I'm sorry." He looked back at everyone else, "I'm sorry I freaked out, I am sorry I shouted, I am sorry I cried. I am an idiot, I know that – but I'll calm down and I'll be totally fine."

Tony began to get up to get off the bed but Jack stopped him by holding his arm and chest. "Get out of my way Jack." Chappelle and his Dad went and stood with Jack, Tony knew he had no hope now. Jack was gently pushing him to lie back down, "No one is sorry any of that happened Tony, you needed it. We all completely admire how well you both are doing to get through all this, we are proud of you."

Tony's face was a mess. It was very tear stained, wet with fresh tears, his eyes were red and swollen. He was breathing very heavily. The room went quiet as they stared at one another. All that could be heard was Tony's breathing.

Chappelle broke the silence. "Come on Tony. You are the most level headed guy I know, you are also one of the most intelligent leaders CTU will have. You know you need the injection and you know if the situation was reversed you would make us take it as well – because it is the right thing to do. I am sure you want Michelle to have it right?"

Tony looked beaten. He nodded his head, "Yes."

"Ok, so if you expect Michelle to have it, it is only reasonable that we are expecting you to take it too."

Tony nervously nodded his head and then began to lie back down next to Michelle. He didn't say a word but when Michelle took his hand he squeezed it tightly. The doctor began administering the needles. He told Tony to pull his shirt up. Jessica had gotten a couple wet, warm face towels, she gave one to Alex and they both walked to the end of the bed on opposite sides. Jessica wiped Michelle's tear stained face and it made her feel so much better. Alex did the same to Tony.

They had both fallen into a very deep sleep within 10 minutes. Alex pulled the bars up on the sides of the bed so they wouldn't fall out and Jessica covered them both with the blanket.

They were distressed over the entire evening and so Alex, Chappelle, Alex and Jessica had coffee together before they headed home.

Please review if you would like me to continue. It is such a good help hearing what people think!! Thank you


	22. exciting day

Tony woke just after 8am. He had slept solidly the entire night, he hadn't even changed positions. He looked at Michelle who was still out of it, he wanted to let her sleep as long as possible.

He gently hopped off the bed and went to use the phone next to the other bed in the room. He called his best friend Mike and asked for his help this morning. Mike had only just found out last night what had happened and was just about to leave to come in and visit anyways. Tony said he would fill him in when they caught up. Tony asked Mike to come to the hospital and pick him up as soon as possible. Mike said he would be there in 15minutes.

Tony rummaged through the bags his parents had bought in for him full of his clothes. He found a pair of slacks, t-shirt and a jacket to wear. He went into the bathroom and took a shower. He couldn't believe how much better he felt then last night. He wasn't that surprised at how he had acted, he knew deep down all along that he wasn't coping and it was only a matter of time before he flipped out. He couldn't believe though how it had all happened in front of Chappelle and Jack – probably the two people in the world he always tried to act his most calm and collected around. They had seen him at his weakest moment, he hoped their opinion of him hadn't changed. He knew he had flipped last night because of 2 reasons. 1 was that he couldn't handle watching Michelle in so much physical and emotional pain all the time and not being able to do anything about it. It made him feel so useless – he loved Michelle so much he felt like he should be able to always make her feel better. 2 – every time he closed his eyes he would replay images of the night in his head over and over. He didn't know how to get rid of them and it had been making him scared to close his eyes or have even just a minute alone where he might have time to think about it – no one could keep that up for long with out blowing up. Today was a new day though and he was going to check out some apartments for them, he felt really excited.

By the time he had finished getting ready Michelle was awake. He gave her a wink making her smile. He kissed her on the forehead and then her lips. "Morning beautiful."

Michelle smiled, "Tony....are you ok?......how do you feel?....did you sleep?....."

Tony giggled and cut her off, "I am fine sweetie. Michelle, I am so sorry if I scared you last night. Did I hurt you when I was trying to keep you still?"

"Nah, you didn't hurt me at all, but you did upset me. Not because you did anything wrong, but because it's hard to see you so sad. I wish I could shield you from ever being hurt."

Tony sat on the side of the bed and took her hands. "I am so sorry I upset you Chelle. For the 1st time in a long time or maybe even ever, I wasn't in control – I was scared too. I had been having those images in my head as well, and when you mentioned that you were too last night, it was almost like it was the last straw. I know how painful and horrifying they are and so I was devastated you were going through the same thing. I feel so useless when I see you in so much pain that you shake and get all tense – it feels like no matter how much I want too, I can't help you."

"Tony, you need to know that you do so much for me. Even if the shaking doesn't stop – I am a million times better off having you just hold me. No one has ever held me the way you do Tony....not even my parents. You make me feel loved, safe and special – there is nothing better than that! Its funny – you are so worried about doing enough for me.... yet you are the only one who has ever done anything for me.

You can't always be in control Tony, especially after all what's happened. At least if we both have these images, we understand and we can help each other through it."

"You are right. We will get there honey....we just have a bumpy road in front of us. It makes me angry that no one else has ever looked after you but you will never feel that way again. I'll be looking after you forever." Tony lent in and tenderly kissed Michelle on the lips. It was sweet and tender and neither one of them wanted it to end. He brought his hand up to cup her face, she slid her tongue over into his mouth and he welcomed it, trading it for his. Her hands ran through his wet hair stopping occasionally to grip his head .

Tony gently and slowly finished the kiss and pulled back. He kept his face within inches if hers. "This will make you smile....Mike is going be here any minute to take me to check out those apartments!"

"That's awesome." Michelle lowered her eyes but continued to giggle and smile. "I am so excited to live with you Almeida."

"I know Angie is coming in later and mom will be here in an hour – I won't leave till she is here with you."

"Tony, I am ok. You don't need to wait. I'll have the nurse help me get washed up while no one is here, I'd probably only just get that done before your mom was here anyways."

Tony thought about it for a moment. "Ok, only if you are sure. I will line a nurse up for you."

Tony headed out to the nurse station to talk to someone. He bumped into Mike in the hallway and they gave each other a huge hug. Mike asked Tony what it was he wanted to do.

"I need to find an apartment for me and Chelle. We already have those complexes on Drover Street in mind. I wanted to get my laptop and video camera so I can film the places and show them to her. I don't want to choose something without Chelle seeing it at all. Is that ok? I think all the stuff is in my car at my place so you could just drop me off there if you wanted."

"I'll come help you Tony. Is Michelle ok?"

"As good as you can expect I guess. Come see her before we take off."

The nurse had already gone straight to Michelle and beat the boys in. Tony felt a lot better leaving knowing Michelle would be with the nurse basically until his mom or Angie arrived. Mike gave her a kiss on the forehead and they chatted for a few minutes before he and Tony went to leave. Tony kissed Michelle on the lips, "is there anything you want or need?"

"I'm ok Tony, have fun babe."

"I will be back as soon as possible."

Mike drove them to Tony's apartment and Tony filled him in on everything along the way. Tony was nervous going back into his apartment. His parents had gone in and straightened everything out for him but even with no signs of what had happened his place just didn't feel the same anymore. He grabbed anything of Michelle's that was there, including her purse and workbooks. He found his keys and was out of the place in a few minutes. He called a bunch of agencies organising to be able to see what they had for rent.

Over the next couple of hours Tony and Mike checked out about 6 or 7 different apartment complexes but none of them even came close to the ones on Drover St. They headed back there so Tony could film the inside of the apartment. The agent mentioned that this was the last one available and there had been a lot of interest in it. Tony asked if he could offer the man the bond in cash for him to hold that apartment for an hour while he showed Michelle the video. Fortunately he agreed and so Tony went to a bank teller and withdrew the money and after he dropped it back he and Mike went straight back to the hospital.

Michelle had spent most of the morning so far sleeping. After she had gotten washed up Tony's mom arrived in and they chatted for close to an hour. Jessica told her lots of stories about Tony when he was a kid. Michelle was glad to have lots of ammunition to use against Tony. Jessica promised she would bring her in some old photo albums to look through as well. Michelle had fallen asleep about 20 minutes before Angie came in and had continued keep sleeping. Angie had stayed chatting to Jessica.

When Tony and Mike came in Michelle was still sound asleep. Tony told Angie and Jessica all about the apartment. Then he set up his laptop and the camera to show Michelle. Tony planted a gentle kiss on her forehead and then started to stroke her hair. She began to stir and when he started to say her name her eyes opened up. As soon as she saw Tony a small side spread across her face.

"Hey sweetie."

"Tony..."

Tony kept stroking her hair while he spoke to her. "Sorry to wake you up but I need to show you something."

"That's ok, what is it?"

Angie helped Michelle to sit up while Tony bought his laptop over and rested it in front of Michelle on her sliding table.

"I couldn't sign any leases without you seeing it. I want to make sure you like it and are 100% happy to make it our home. This one is being held for us for the next hour and is by far the best one Mike and I saw all morning." He pressed play.

Michelle watched as footage of the apartment came up. She looked at Tony, "I can't believe you did this.....you are so adorable." She took his hand as he explained which room was which. Michelle commented on every room. She loved the balcony, which was big enough for table and chairs and it had the most amazing view. They went back and watched that part a couple of times. There were 2 bedrooms and a study. Everything was very modern. She loved the place and was very animated in her response to the video.

"I love it Tony, Oh my God it would be perfect for us. Do you like it? I do, it's better than I imagined..."

Michelle was talking a million miles a minute making everyone laugh, she was just so excited. Tony had always loved this about Michelle, at work she was serious but outside of the office she was really bubbly – always smiling and laughing. She was so excitable and he often found her enthusiasm infectious.

"I'm glad you like it, I knew you would. God....I just love seeing you so happy Chelle."

"I just can't believe this could actually be our place. I've never lived in anything like it. I mean look how big it is.....can we afford it?"

"We can afford it – you don't need to worry about that. There is enough room for all our stuff. We do need to talk about furniture and everything to decide what we need."

"When can we move in?"

"Well I need to go and give the guy an answer now, if we say yes then it is our straight away. I could get everything organised and moved by the time you are ready to come home."

Michelle squeezed his hand. "Your the best Tony. Is this exactly what you want?"

"Michelle....This is the perfect place for us. I'd better go though and pay this guy so we definitely get it. When I get back we should work out what we need and then we can get online and check out what's around."

Michelle turned and grabbed her wallet out of the top drawer that was right next to her bed. She took out her bankcard and handed it to Tony. "Take the 1st month's rent and bond from my account. It's on savings – my pin is – 0802."

Tony took the card and put it back on top of her wallet. "I'll take care of it sweetheart."

"You can't pay all of that, it will be heaps. Please let me help."

"I want to get it Chelle. Please just don't even worry about it."

"Ok, but I'm going to pay for furniture or whatever we get."

Tony nodded and then gave her a kiss on the lips. He told everyone that if they wanted to stick around then he would bring back some lunch.

Tony smiled the entire way to the apartment. It took him about 45 minutes to get through all the paper work and then finally he was given a set of keys. He went to a hardware store up the street and bought a measuring tape, he then returned to the apartment so he could measure all the rooms. He wanted to make sure any furniture they bought was going to fit. He got a pile of sandwiches before heading back to the hospital. It was just after 3, he figured no wonder he was starving.

Michelle nibbled on her food for a little while before dozing in and out of sleep. She had been given another injection for pain that was making her sleepy. Tony could tell how tired she was but she was making such a huge effort to be social with everyone. He went over to the phone on the other side of the room and started making some calls to organise movers to get both his and Michelle's places packed up and taken to the new apartment. He also hired them to stay on at the new place and help unpack. He hoped with the movers, himself and a few friends that they could get the place into decent shape really quickly. He wanted it to be just right for when Michelle was ready to go home. After he was done he went back and joined in the conversation.

"I booked movers for your place and mine Chelle. They will be there first thing in the morning. I booked them so that they will pack everything up, move it and then help unpack."

Mike put his hand up on Mike's shoulder. "I'll come around and help you. We will get a few people together and get it all done in no time."

Angie and Jessica both said that they would be more than happy to help.

Tony smiled, the support he and Michelle were getting was helping so much. "Thanks guys. I just want to make sure however it is done that someone is here with Michelle most of the time."

Michelle was trying to pay attention but she just couldn't hang on any longer, she let her eyelids fall and dropped straight off to sleep. Everyone stayed chatting with Tony for an hour or so before heading home. A huge bunch of flowers arrived for Michelle and Tony from everyone at CTU.

While he waited for Michelle to wake up, he made a list of all the appliances and furniture he had. He also did the same for everything he could remember Michelle had. He found websites for home stores in the area and book marked them. He went to get a coffee from the cafeteria and Michelle was awake when he walked back in.

He lowered his head to kiss her on the forehead but she put her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in closer and kissed him on the lips. When she felt his hand move up and down her shoulder making her kiss him even harder. He returned her passion. She had taken him by surprise and he loved that. He nudged her face to roll to the side so that he could nibble on her ear and neck. She sighed his name and put her other hand up on his shirt grabbing at his chest. He started sucking on the base of her neck and then across her clavicle and shoulder. She pulled his shirt out of the top of his pants and slid her hand up to his bare chest. Her hand pressed into him firmly making him become more intense with his kisses. When he pulled his head up to breath a little he noticed that he had actually left marks on her, small hickeys. He laughed a little and told Michelle. This seemed to excite her even more and she slipped her hand around his lower back pulling him in closer. Once she could reach she lifted his top and began kissing his lower stomach. She heard him groan so she ran her tongue along the inside of the top of his pants, making hie entire body flinch. He put his hands on the top of her head and closed his eyes to soak in how good he felt. She ran her hand across his crotch and continued to kiss his stomach. She gave him a hickey in return on his hip. They were interrupted by a nurse walking in and startling them both. Michelle took her hand off his shirt letting it fall back down. They stayed in silence but swapped cheeky smiles as the nurse checked Michelle's pulse and temperature.

When the nurse was gone Tony asked Michelle if she felt like going through everything for their apartment, she said she would love too so he went to get his list and the computer.

"Tony sit up on the bed next to me."

Tony jumped up next to her and they both got settled. He put the computer back on the table tray and they went through the list first.

"We have enough couches and stuff but none of it all really goes together very well. I don't have any coffee tables do you Tony?"

"That's something I hadn't gotten around to getting yet. Why don't we get some new couches and tables that go together. All my stuff is so old now, I would have needed to get new stuff soon anyway."

"Sounds perfect to me, lets go shopping – I'm buying this time!!"

Tony hooked them into the sites and they began surfing through all the different selections. They both fell in love with a couch set straight away so they wrote the codes down. The found a couple coffee tables, a dresser and a kitchen table as well. Finally the got to the bed section. "How big is your bed Chelle?"

"Double, same as yours." She gave him a cheeky smile and ran her hand up his leg. "Why don't we get a King size one.....I get the feeling we are going to need lots of room on our bed."

"I like the sound of that! I think it is extremely important that we get the bigger bed." They both laughed.

Once they had picked out all of what they wanted, Tony called the stores and placed the order. He organized to have them delivered the following afternoon to the new apartment. Michelle asked him to arrange having the furniture they were replacing taken to the downtown thrift and charity store.

They spent the evening lying together on the bed watching some TV and a movie. The held hands the entire time and frequently offered each other kisses.


	23. bad dreams

Michelle was woken in the middle of the night from Tony tossing and turning. She still felt drugged from the injections and so it was difficult to open her heavy eyes. As she was trying to shake the dopiness, Tony scared the hell out of her by grabbing her thigh and squeezing it with unbelievable strength. Pain rippled through her body sending her heart racing and making breathing difficult. Tears seemed to shoot from her eyes and she felt like she might actually be sick.

He didn't let go even when she begged him to stop. His head was thrashing from side to side and his legs kept bending up and down and from left to right. Finally his grip loosened, his hand fell back on the bed and within seconds it grabbed at the sheet crunching it. With his hand off her leg Michelle was able to lift her body enough to look over Tony. His eyes were shut tight – he was having a nightmare. His entire body was dripping in sweat, his hair was saturated.

She tried to snap him out of it by saying his name over and over but even after raising her voice he didn't come to. She tried to put her hand on his cheek but it was difficult because his head continue to roll from side to side. He began to let out little cries almost like whimpering. He had completely thrown all of the blankets onto the floor and the only reason he hadn't fallen off himself was because the side rails were up on the bed. His face scrunched up like he was in pain and he began to say 'no' repeatedly. After shaking him as much as she was able, calling his name and tapping his cheek he still hadn't woken up so she grabbed the glass of water next to the bed and let a couple mouthfuls worth fall onto his face.

His eyes sprung open and his body came to a complete stop. Michelle cupped his cheek with her hand gently.

"Tony, it's me sweetie. You are having a nightmare."

He spent a moment looking stunned. He touched Michelle and studied her as if trying to convince himself it was really her. Finally, "Michelle?"

"Yes baby it's me."

He seemed on the verge of tears. "Are you ok? Are you ok?"

Michelle stroked his face. "Tony it was just a dreamââjust a dream."

Finally he seemed to really wake up. He spent a few moments allowing himself accept it was just a dream. He raised his hand to her cheek. "I'm so sorry Chelle. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Sweetheart don't apologise. You were distraught Tony – what were you dreaming about?"

He lowered his eyes away from hers and spoke quietly. "You, themâ..the other night. They were hurting you and I couldn't do anything. It was like I replayed that entire night Chelleâ..everything. God it was even word for word."

Michelle didn't know what to say so she hugged him, holding his as tight as possible.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect you from them Chelleâ."

Michelle pulled back and looked him in the eyes, "Tony you did everything you possibly could. You have to stop blaming yourself – it is because of you that we are ok." He pulled her back into the hug.

Michelle could feel the heat radiating from his body. Her gown was wet from his sweat. She pulled back, "Let me just get a damp cloth to wipe your face."

"No, no – don't you get up. I can get it. I actually think I need a shower – this is disgusting."

Michelle kissed him on the lips and then let him get up. She watched him make his way into the bathroom and close the door. She was worried about him. He shouldered so much of what happened that night. She felt so bad for him for having to re-live the night like that, it was very understandable now why he was gripping everything and throwing his body around.

Her thigh was still pounding from where he had grabbed her, his hand had gone right on top of her wound. Her hand slipped down her body to her leg. Her gown was wet but she assumed it was from Tony, it wasn't until she held her hand up that she saw blood on her fingers. Michelle pulled her body up and turned on the light. Slowly lifting her gown she gasped at the site of the wound open and blood everywhere. He had pulled the stitches out. Her heart sank, she didn't care about her leg – she cared about how much this would upset Tony.

The bathroom door opened and Tony stood holding his hand out. "Why is there blood on my hand?"

She didn't need to answer as he noticed her leg and rushed to her side. Tears formed in his eyes as he looked at the wound. "I did that? I did that to you?"

Michelle held his arm. "I am ok Tony, it looks worse than it is."

"Chelle I ripped the stitches out. I hurt you. How could I do that to you? Lo"

"You were asleep and having a nightmare. It's not your fault Tonyâ.it's just something that happened."

"Yeah because of me. Here I am having a nightmare because of someone else hurting you and yet I've hurt you myself. I have to get a doctor." He pressed the nurse's button.

"Look at me Tony." His eyes couldn't leave her leg. "TONYâ.look at me." Finally he turned his head and gave her eye contact. She squeezed his hand, "I love you so much Tony. I am not upset about this at all. All I care about is you."

"But But"

Michelle used her hand to signal him to stop. "No buts Tony. I watched you having the nightmare, I saw your body thrashing from side to side, I saw your hands and feet all clenched up, the sweat pouring from your head and I heard your cries. I know how much what happened the other night is tearing you apart inside Tonyâ..nothing in the world is more to clear to me than your love for me. I know better than anyone how you are feeling about this BUT you need to just accept that it was just something that happened. You couldn't have stopped that from happening anymore than I can stop the rain from falling - because you were asleep. Now, I am going to be fine BUT only if you calm down and stop getting upset with yourself over it."

A couple nurses came running in asking what the problem was. Before Tony could answer them Michelle got in first. "My stitches have split."

One of the nurses turned around and left to go and get a doctor and everything they would need to fix Michelle back up. The other nurse, inspected the wound and asked how it happened. Tony got in first this time.

"I was having a nightmare and I grabbed Michelle's leg in my sleep."

The nurse had looked after Michelle a lot in the last couple days and had never seen a man more in love than Tony obviously was with Michelle. She knew how guilty he would be feeling and so she did everything she could to ease him. "Ahh certainly not the first time something like this has happened."

Tony looked shocked. "What? What do you mean?"

"Everybody has nightmares Tony. You wouldn't believe the amount of patients that do something in their sleep that affects their injuries."

"Really?"

"I could write you a novel on just the incidents I've witnessed. There is nothing in the world you can do about it." She excused herself. She wanted to explain the situation to the doctor before he entered the room.

Tony looked like he relaxed a little. Michelle tugged on his hand. "See honey, it is no big deal."

H leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Well I'm still so sorry. I love you so much."

Michelle tried to loosen the mood. "Well if you love meâ.then what's with the bloody kiss on the forehead? I have lips you know!!"

A smile finally spread across his face and Michelle breathed a sigh of relief. He kissed her sliding his tongue inside her mouth. He ended the quick kiss by sucking on her bottom lip. He enjoyed her shocked expression, "That better sweetheart?"

"Much!" They traded flirty smiles.

The second nurse and their doctor walked through the door and straight over to Michelle's side. After checking the wound the doctor explained what he was going to do.

"Michelle I will stitch this back up and then we will get you into a fresh gown and fix the bed up with some new sheets."

Tony held Michelle's hand whilst they tended to her wound. After many local anaesthetic injections, Michelle didn't feel a thing and spent most of the time babbling on to Tony about everything under the sun. She spent a good chunk of the time pointing out all the reasons why they needed to get a big screen TV. Tony laughed, this was the third or forth time she had talked about TV's since they agreed to move out. There was no reason for it, she had had a small crappy TV for years and wanted forever to upgrade.

Once they had finished with her thigh they helped her up so they could get her changed and fix the bed. Tony went to have a quick shower and change his clothes. He was done just as Michelle was being helped back into the fresh clean bed. After the nurses had left Michelle patted the spot next to her. Tony hesitated at the end of the bed. "Do you think that maybe I should sleep on the other bed?"

"How am I going to kiss you when I can't reach you? Come on Tony, I want youâ..let me rephrase that, I need you next to me."

He closed the door and then crawled up next to her switching out the light. He lay on his side leaning over her looking into her eyes. She gazed back adoringly. "You know Tony, all of these horrible things have happened to us in the last couple weeks but none of it seems to matter when I am this close to you. I still can't believe how incredibly lucky I am to have you."

"Chelle you make me the happiest man in the world. How do I explain to you how incredibly perfect you are for me? Would you believe I have butterflies right now just because I am this close to you?"

She ran her hand across his chest and his eyes followed her every move. She picked up his hand and began to softly suck on his fingers. He slid his body in closer to her leaving next to no space between them. Her kisses left his hand and moved to his upper chest. There was silence as Tony intensely watched Michelle so tenderly explore his chest with her mouth. It was an intimate moment and one that they both so desperately needed. As Michelle tried to kiss his neck it was hard for her to reach without being uncomfortable and so Tony leaned his body up over her so she could. He stretched and tilted his neck out to the side so Michelle would know exactly where he needed to be kissed. She took her time.

Tony ran his hands through her hair until her mouth reached his cheek, he then held her head and began to kiss her sweetly on the lips. She rested her head back on the pillow pulling him with her while the took in turns of sucking and tugging on each other's lips.

Finally their tongues began to explore one another's mouths. Twenty minutes passed them by while they did nothing but hold each other kissing passionately.

Tony pulled the blanket up high right to their necks. Reaching his hand under the covers he began to slowly slide her gown up her body, carefully watching her reaction. In just a whisper, "Is this ok? I'll be gentle."

Michelle took his hand and guided it to her chest. As he held her softly in his hand he slid down the bed a little so that he could use his mouth and see that he wasn't going near any bruises.

Michelle for the first time felt like her pain faded. The man she saw as her strong protector held her body so gently making her feel safe, comfortable and excited for him. The way he held her and looked at her let her know she was going to be ok. No matter what she had been through, no matter how battered her body was, somehow she knew that with Tony by her side she was going to get through everything just fine.

They kissed and held each other until the sun came up, eventually falling into the most peaceful sleep either had had in days.


	24. its all good

1 week had passed and Michelle was finally ready to go home. The doctors kept her in a little longer to be on the safe side. She was making fantastic progress and was now able to freely walk around unassisted. Her bruises had begun to fade and barely gave her any trouble at all. She still felt a little weak but as long as she kept up with the pain killers and kept quiet she felt ok. She was so sick of being in the hospital and was dying to just have some real time with Tony. It felt like she hadn't had a chance to just be alone with him forever – they were constantly interrupted by nurses or visitors. Tony had spent everyday running between her and their new apartment. Along with the help of all of their friends and family everything was now completely set up and ready for them to move in. Tony's parent had bought them new sheets and towels as a gift and had also stocked the fridge with food figuring it was the last thing Tony or Michelle needed to be worrying about.

Tony was tired, it had been such a physically demanding week and he still wasn't sleeping very well, then again neither was Michelle. He was sick to death of seeing Michelle in hospital, all he wanted was to take her home to their new place. He wanted time alone with her, he was sick of sharing her with everyone else and never being able to snuggle close to her without a nurse walking in. He couldn't believe how much better she was doing. It had been quite a long time since the attack now but he still thought she was doing remarkably well. Finally the bruises were fading and he was able to touch and hold her without worrying about hurting her.

After over an hour of paperwork and instructions they were finally on their way. Once Tony got Michelle inside the apartment he took her for the grand tour. Michelle fell in love with their new place and spent a long time in each room just taking everything in. It was nearing dinner and Tony was ready to settle in for the night.

"Chelle, should I order us in something for dinner and maybe then we could watch a movie or something?"

"Sounds perfect. Thank you so much Tony – for everything, I love our place. I can't believe it's ours and I am living here with you."

Tony crossed the room and bought Michelle in for a hug. "Thank you for agreeing to move in with me Chelle. This is going to be so good." He kissed her softly on the lips. "I love that I don't have to worry about someone walking in on us."

"I've missed you Tony. I know we've been together but I miss just time with you, I miss being close to you." She traced his face with her fingers before kissing him again, this time with a little more intensity.

She went to pull back but he whined. "mmm don't stop." She smiled and kissed him again. His hands slid down her back pulling her in closer to him.

There was a knock at the door. Tony pulled back. "Bull shit, you've got to be kidding me."

"It's ok Tony."

"No its not. I just want 5 minutes with you...." He cursed under his breath as he made his way to the door. He didn't see Michelle smiling behind him. He opened the door to find a delivery man.

"Tony Almeida?"

"Yeah, that's me but I haven't ordered anything."

Michelle made her way up to Tony. "I did."

He looked at her confused. "What is it?"

A couple men walked something huge covered in a sheet through the door asking where they wanted it. Michelle directed them into the spare room. Tony followed, he had no idea what was going on. Michelle signed the paper work and let the men out and then returned to Tony who was still just staring at it. "Go ahead, uncover it."

He pulled the sheet off to reveal a huge beautiful wood and glass cabinet. The bottom of it was lined with racks for wine, the middle section was set up for spirits and running down both sides was glassed sections for wine, beer, and shot glasses. Tony's mouth dropped open. "Wow...Oh my God, I love it. What?...How?...Why?"

Michelle rubbed his back. "I got it for you Tony, I wanted you to have somewhere to store the wines you have been collecting."

He ran his hand across it. "But Chelle, it must have cost a fortune, I love it so much. I've always wanted something like this. I can't believe you did this..."

"You've been so good to me Tony. I could never have gotten through everything without you. This is just something to let you know how much I appreciate you and all you've done for me."

He turned back and hugged her tightly. "I adore you so much Chelle. I'll always be here for you, I don't want you to think you had to do something for me. You have been everything to me as well."

"I just wanted you to have it Tony. I knew you would like it and I know you needed somewhere to put your liquor collection."

"Thank you so much sweetheart. I love it so much." He kissed her, "I love you so much. Wow....thanks, I just can't believe it!"

Michelle hugged him back. She loved seeing him so happy, his smile made her feel tingles. She just watched him as he went back to exploring the cabinet out. He ran and grabbed one of his bottles of wine and tested how it fit. "Perfect! I can't wait to put them all in....can I do it now?"

Michelle laughed. "Of course baby. Can we order dinner first so it can be on the way?"

Tony pulled out his cell. "What do you feel like?"

"Pasta?"

"Good choice!" Tony put an order through for dinner and then began lugging in boxes of his wine and spirits to set the cabinet up. They sat together and sorted through them all and put them in order of years. Michelle wiped each bottle for him before he put them into the cabinet. Tony smiled in excitement the whole time and Michelle smiled at seeing him so happy. Once they were done with the wines they moved onto setting up the spirit bar. "Chelle, I want to get new glasses for the cabinet...all the proper ones for each drink. I can't have everything set up like this and then have my old crappy glasses!"

"Maybe we could go shopping tomorrow? Maybe we could even then look at TV's as well?"

Tony laughed. "Sounds like a plan to me." He moved in to kiss her but again the door knocked, this time it was their food. As he got up to answer the door he rolled his eyes. "I am going to finish that kiss one of these days."

They ate dinner together in the office so that Tony could keep looking at the cabinet. They chatted about their new place and threw around the idea of having a house warming party. They thought it would also be a good way of being able to thank everyone for all their help and support lately. In the end they decided that they would pick up some invitations while they were at the shops the next day.

After dinner they moved back to the living room and settled on the couch to watch a DVD. Michelle was starting to get tired, she only really lasted a few hours at the moment before she needed to rest. She was having trouble getting comfortable on the couch and so Tony had them move into their bedroom where she could easily lie on the bed. Michelle lay on her back and Tony was on his side next to her, gently tracing her stomach. Before they started the movie he kissed her softly. "Are you comfortable honey? You are starting to look really tired."

"I'm ok, I guess I am feeling a little tired again. You have no idea how much I've thought about this moment though Tony over the last week. You and I alone in our new place together."

"Me too. I am so happy Michelle." He leaned over and kissed her again, this time he let his tongue explore her mouth and his hand cupped the side of her cheek. Her hand ran up and down his chest and within moments she was tugging on it so he would take it off. As he sat up to remove his top he pulled her with him and took hers off as well. He watched with his mouth open as she took her bra off for him. She slowly began to lay down again for him and his body followed. Tony took a moment to look at her body. Michelle still felt self conscious of the bruises and marks on her body. Even though they had faded they were still pretty obvious. "Don't look at me Tony, can we turn the lights out?"

Tony rolled over and flicked the light off. "What's wrong Chelle?"

"I just hate you having to look at me with these marks."

"Sweetheart, you are so beautiful. I look at them as marks of how brave and courageous you have been."

She smiled at him but she still looked very nervous. He tried again to calm her. "I am so turned on Chelle just looking at you right now." Tony pressed himself against her and ran his hand over her chest and down her body to her thighs. He spoke softly. "Come on Chelle....I want you so much..." He hesitated while he waited for her to respond to him. He wanted to be with her so much but he would wait for her, he wanted her to feel comfortable with herself. He understood why she felt the way she did, he just wished he knew how to make her see how beautiful he thought she was and that he didn't think twice about the bruises.

Michelle bit her lower lip and then took Tony's hand and started running it up and down her body again. He sighed in relief and then nuzzled her head to the side so he could kiss her neck. He used his tongue to wildly explore her shoulder, neck, ear and cheek. He groaned loudly as he worked over her body. Michelle began to relax and allow herself to enjoy what was going on. Hearing Tony groan and the way he was passionately touching her was helping accept he really was ok with bruises and scars. It felt like it had been so long since they could be together like this, his touch felt even better than she had been remembering it. She ran her hand across the front of his jeans, at her touch he pushed himself into her hand. She ran her hand across him again, this time a lot harder. He grunted and gripped her firmer.

Tony began to undo her buckle and pants. Michelle started kissing him desperately, a small part of her hoped it would distract him enough from looking at her legs. He had seen her millions of times now with these bruises and cuts but it just felt different when he was seeing them when they were being intimate. She had always wanted to be everything Tony could want in bed and it just didn't feel like she was doing that right now.

Tony could tell how self conscious and nervous Michelle still was. He stopped fiddling with her pants and put his hand on her cheek. "Are you sure you are ready for this Chelle? Tell me what you are thinking."

"I want to be with you more than anything Tony. I need to be, I want to be as close to you as possible. I know you have seen all my scars before heaps of times but it just feels different when we are being so intimate. I'm scared I won't be exactly what you want."

Tony wrapped his leg across hers and pressed his body into her side a little firmer. He began massaging her face with his hand. "Michelle, I need to be with you as well, just to be as close to you as I can. Honey I am so turned on by you it's crazy – you rile me up all the time, just by doing the smallest things. I really don't want you to worry about the bruises because I am not even thinking about them – I'm thinking about you and me together and how incredible it feels. You are already exactly what I want – in fact you are even more amazing then I ever could have imagined. I don't want to push you Michelle, you have to tell me if you are not comfortable with us taking things further right now. I love you so much and there are plenty of times for us to be together – we have forever, so there is no reason for you to do anything you are not 100 ready for. I promise I'm totally fine with whatever you want baby."

Michelle couldn't get over how sweet Tony was to her. He made her feel so special, he made her feel more confident with herself. He had said all the right things, she needed to hear all of that. Michelle lifted her arm and started to play with the bottom of his hair and neck. "Thanks Tony, thank you for saying everything I needed to hear. I want you now Tony – I am comfortable, hearing you tell me that it doesn't bother you makes me feel better. I want all of you Tony..."

His cheeky grin appeared and he lowered his head so he could kiss her. It was so soft and sweet for a few minutes. He was being so tender with her and it was a very intimate, special moment. She pulled back just an inch so she could speak, "This feels so good Tony, you make me feel incredible."

"I adore you and I adore your touch Chelle." Tony sat up so he could pull her jeans off, she was now completely naked in front of him. Standing at the end of the bed he took a moment to study her. "God you are sexy..." He sat on his knees in between her legs and stretched his arms out to run his hands up and down her entire body. They held eye contact the whole time. Tony gently massaged a big bruise on her hip. Michelle watched him, he was obviously doing this for her – to show her how much it didn't bother him. He then leant down and kissed her hip using his tongue. Michelle's face was glowing. "Thank you Tony, I love you."

"I love you Chelle." He crawled his body up over hers so he could kiss her on the lips. His body completely covered hers. They kissed each other passionately whilst running his hands down the sides of her body, anywhere he could reach. "Michelle tell me if I am hurting you."

"Actually maybe I could be on top of you? I feel sore like this. Is that alright?"

Tony jumped off her immediately and sat beside her. "I'm sorry, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Of course you can be on top of me – I would love that."

"Tony don't be sorry sweetie. Lay down on your back for me,"

Tony slid himself off the bed. Michelle looked at him confused. "I want to take off my jeans, I hope that's ok..."

Michelle looked at him seductively. "More than ok, might as well take your boxers off too." Tony did what she said and Michelle very obviously watched checking him out. It was easy to see how turned on Tony was, he began to make his way back to the bed. Michelle didn't take her eyes off him. "You are gorgeous Tony." He went to pull her in closer, she took his hand and he helped her sit on top of him. She immediately began kissing and running her hands all over him. Tony closed his eyes and moaned. Michelle started to kiss him on the lips, running her tongue on his chin and cheeks. Tony was slowly lifting his body up against her. He held onto her chest. "Chelle....I want to be inside you."

Michelle didn't speak, instead she lifted her body up, and then sat again pushing him inside her. They both groaned loudly and Michelle bent down and they kissed roughly.

Tony began to explore Michelle harder and faster, he was grunting and groaning louder than Michelle. She grabbed his arms and pinned them above his head, this seemed to be the thing that pushed him over the edge. "I'm close......Michelle, I'm close!!" She shifted her hips from side to side and within seconds he had climaxed. He was so loud when he climaxed that he surprised Michelle. He cupped her face. "Chelle that was amazing, you are amazing. Oh my God, you have no idea how much I've wanted to be with you – I thought about that all week. You can do things to me that I never dreamed possible."

Michelle kept tracing her hands across his chest. "I've thought about it all week as well. This is the best feeling in the world..." She began to move her hips again from side to side. Tony looked at her a little surprised. He couldn't believe she wanted to go again. He was so excited. Michelle had just been unbelievable and he had spent every second wishing it would last forever. He was more than ready to be with her again so lifted he lower body firmly into hers. He continued doing this over and over. Michelle bit her bottom lip and pressed her hands into his chest. "Wow Tony....you are so riled up, I don't think I've seen you like this before..."

Tony kept moving his hips, he was panting a little and he was still exploring her chest. "You have gotten me so riled up sweetie. I can't help it, you just feel so good." He pushed into her again. "This feel ok Chelle?"

"So good. I love you....I love you so much Tony."

Tony and Michelle made love for awhile longer. They held each others gaze and kissed tenderly.


End file.
